Sarah Paulson one shots

Mother's Day

Reader x Venable

Tw / talk of suicide

I hate Mother's Day . Mostly because I don't have a mother to celebrate and I always end up crying over it . My mom died when I was a child but she wasn't a good mother while she was alive but she couldn't help it . She was an addict and constantly depressed or disgustingly drunk . Most of the memories I have of her are times where she would be either high out of her mind , drunk , or going through an episode and would either stay in bed all day or would be yelling and throwing things at me . Not exactly what I'd like to remember her by . And in the end she killed herself and left me behind . Every mothers day that's passed I've tried to remember her in a good light for my own sake if anything . But this Mother's Day all I've been able to do is cry on Minas shoulder . I miss my mom more than anything even though she was horrible at times and I hate myself for missing her so much . Minas tried calming me down and telling me it's ok to miss her because she was still my mom . But that's just it . She was my mom . She isn't anymore because she left me . She abandoned me at the ripe age of eleven and left me with millions of questions . I go through cycles of missing her with everything in me to hating her and being glad she's gone because she can't hurt me anymore and can't make my life hell . But no matter what every mothers day I end up crying missing her and wishing I still had my mother even if she wasn't the best . I still want a mother figure in my life . But thankfully I have my Mina . She loves and nurtures and cares for me more than my mom ever did and I couldn't be more grateful for her . She has a good relationship with her mother so she doesn't fully understand what I went through with mine but she still tries her best to be there for me and always holds me and listens to me cry talking about how much I hate or miss my mom . It's 12 and we're suppose to meet with Minas mom for lunch at 2 but I've been a emotional mess since we woke up . I've been crying in Mina's arms the whole day and she's been doing her best to comfort me . We took a shower together in the morning and we laid down in bed after because I started crying . She held me tightly and lightly scratched my scalp as I wailed into her naked chest . I'm fully aware of how dramatic I sound crying so loud and that's only making me cry harder . As I have my eyes tightly closed and my forehead resting on Minas chest all that's playing in my head are all the times my mom and I fought or her yelling at me or throwing things at me . Why am I crying over this woman who hurt me so much physically and emotionally and just ended up killing herself ? She clearly didn't care about me so why should I care this much about her . Because she's still my mom and I still have a certain bond with her even if she isn't alive anymore . I calmed down and silently cried as I got lost in my own thoughts . I felt Minas arms tighten around me and I held onto her waist as I rubbed my forehead against her chest to feel her skin there . I looked up at her and laid my cheek on her chest so I was still feeling her . She gave me a small smile and held onto my cheek . I brought one hand up to rest on her neck and she leaned down to kiss the top of my nose and then my forehead and then my lips . I held her cheek to keep her lips pressed against mine and started crying again . When she felt my tears against her face she pulled away to wipe my tears gently with her thumb and kissed my forehead again as I started sobbing again

'I just want my mom back Wilhemina . I want my mom'

I sound like a small child crying for their mother after they've left them for a while to go to the store . Except I'm never going to see my mom again . I started clawing at my chest without realizing it until I felt Mina gently pulling my hand away from my chest and held onto it tightly and brought it up to kiss my knuckles

'I know you miss her baby I can't imagine how much you miss her . But now you have my mother and you know how much she loves you . She sees you as her daughter just as much as she sees me . She might even love you a little more'

We both chuckled and I started calming down . I sure do love Ms Rose Venable

'I love her too . She's always been so kind to me . And she always smells like jelly beans'

She does . Wilhemina chucked

'Because she eats way too many jelly beans . Her veneers are gonna fall off her teeth one day'

We both laughed and I snuggled closer to her feeling better . I held onto her hand tightly and looked up at her smiling . She smiled back and cupped my cheek with her other hand . She leaned down to kiss the top of my head and let go of my cheek to wrap her arm back around my waist

'Do you want to start getting ready ? I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind us stopping by her house a little early . She's always asking me to bring you over to spend time with her . You're the only person who will watch her boring television shows with her'

Rose loves watching Law and Order but Mina finds it's insanely boring . Luckily for Rose I happen to love that show

'I love watching tv with her . But can we stay here and cuddle a little longer ?'

I feel so comforted laying on her chest with her arm around me . The feeling of her body heat mixing with mine is enough to calm me down no matter how horrible I'm feeling

'You know I'll take any chance I can get to cuddle with my sweet baby . I love you so much honey'

Im probably bright red right now . This just seems so out of character for her . The scary Ms Venable is laying in bed naked with me laying on top of her and calling me these sweet pet names comforting me and telling me how much she loves me

'I love you more Mina . I'm sorry for always being a mess . I can't imagine how annoying it must be to put up with my bullshit and all my issues'

'Don't talk like that honey . It's not your fault you have some issues but I want to do everything I can to make you feel better and I will alright . I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and im going to make sure you can feel my love every day . I never want you to feel alone and you know you can come to me whenever you need to be comforted baby so don't worry'

I held her tighter to show my gratitude and nodded . She brought my face up to kiss me and rubbed her nose against mine making my smile grow wider . I laid my head back down in her chest and could feel the love radiating off of her and onto me . I rubbed her stomach lightly just to feel her skin and to feel closer to her . Mothers day is still sucky but Mina makes it a lot easier for me to deal with . All I've needed was someone to love and comfort me when I need it and Wilhemina definitely does that . Who needs a mom when you have an extremely affectionate and loving and caring girlfriend right

A/n Happy Mother's Day I know how horribly difficult this day can be for some of you (myself included it's the whole reason I wrote this at 2 in the morning on mothers day oops) so I hope this was able to comfort you in the slightest . And if not...sorry but it made me feel better writing it