i hate you

01

me, my mom and avani were all in my car, listening to music on our way to downtown houston, texas. auditions for a reality tv show were being held there and my dream has always been acting. this was my chance. i'd gone to so many camps over the summers growing up, been in elementary school plays, and pretended i was juliet one to many times...in my bedroom...alone. avani is my best friend and life-long companion and my mom plays that role as well. all three of us have always been so close because avani didn't have a good home life. her parents split up when she was young and her mother kept her from her dad. her mom paid her dad half a million dollars to walk away and never come back. her mom was somewhat right to do that...but her mom didn't stay this way. soon after her new boyfriend was killed in a hit-and-run accident, her mom became a drug addict and alcoholic. she even overdosed one time and survived. now, avani kind of lives at my house because being alone with her mother isn't safe anymore. 

avani lives to the left of me and to the right of me, well, vinnie. him and i aren't really the best of friends. in fact, we aren't anywhere near being friends. at the very most, we are acquaintances. our families are friends because our dads are "old college buddies." could my dad have picked anyone else to be old college buddies with? seriously, i'd rather it be ted bundy. i'm an only child because two years after i was born, she became pregnant with my little sister. but she had a miscarriage and couldn't bring herself to replace her and have another kid. i respect her decision, even though i want a sibling badly. but i'm already seventeen, and if my mom were to get pregnant now, by the time i'm thirty, my sibling would be graduating middle school. and i don't want that much of an age gap because i want a sibling to be close with...not just to have. avani is like my sister though...fraternal twin sister, that is. our birthdays are the same day, but we have different parents. so rather she's me "sister from another mister..." no, that sounds cheesy. she's just my best friend. 

as we drove through the city, i admired the lights and huge ferris wheel in the parking lot of a restaurant called the aquarium. since i'm from a small town in el paso, i don't see this often. google maps tells me to take a right off of the highway so i do. 

"your destination is to your right," my phone beeps. i turn my blinker on and turn to the right as my stomach tightens. 

"this is it, nai." my mom says, squeezing my hand. avani unbuckles her seat belt from the back seat and scoots up to get closer to me.

"you'll get the part. i know you will," she says touching my shoulder.

"and if i don't?" i say doubtfully.

"we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it," my mom says as she reaches over me to unlock the doors. "now let's go. you definitely won't get the part if we sit in this gosh darn car the whole time," she says as she gets out.

i laugh under breath as avani and i get out. i walk over to the building and see a familiar car parked out front. i don't think much of it and am pretty sure it's just a neighbor's car or something.

"oh, crap,"  i thought. that's vinnie's car. avani and i looked at the car then at each other and my mom furrowed her eyebrows.

"what is it?" she asks. her eyes widen for a split second; like something clicked in her brain. "oh, i see. it's vinnie's car, isn't it." she says.

i nod and walk faster towards the entrance. in my head i'm hoping that it's just reggie, vinnie's younger brother, who took his car. but reggie and i are close, and he's never talked about wanting to pursue an acting career. deep down i know it's vinnie. part of me wants to believe he is just trying out for a different show, but the other half knows there is only one television show audition being held in this building today. god, i hope he doesn't get the part.

i open the door and hold it for my mom and avani. as soon as i walk in, i see three familiar faces. reggie, vinnie, and maria, their mom. maria smiles as soon as she sees me and gets up. vinnie turns his head and his face goes white when he sees me. reggie smiles and gets up with his mother to come greet us. 

"hi, hon! what're you doing here?" she asks.

"oh, you know, just sitting around, doing nothing. we drove all the way down here to look around in this really nice old building that was most likely built when jesus was alive." avani said sarcastically. i rolled my eyes. avani doesn't like vinnie...or any of his family.

"sorry about her," i said. "i'm auditioning for the female lead!" i continued. "is reggie going for a part?" i asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

"no, actually, vinnie is!" she said. "now, i know you guys aren't exactly fond of each other, but think about it! if you both get the lead, then a wonderful bond could grow from this!" she said. my face went white. 

"what do you mean, vinnie's going for the male lead?" i said.

"well, she means that i'm going to get the male lead, and some really hot chick is gonna get the female lead...oh wait...that's not you...yikes, dude." vinnie brags. i roll my eyes as avani steps up.

"first of all, she's been acting since she was five years old. you just started...hm...when? today? for the money? the fame? or is it the girls? its probably the girls. can't get enough of 'em, can you?" she says. maria's eyes widen as she tries to hold back a laugh.

"avani gregg! stop that right now!" my mom lectures. avani is used to it because my mom is her mom. in every way.

"sorry mom," avani says. see? my mom is her mom. in every way.

i get up on my toes to even try to see over vinnie because he's so tall. he laughs when he notices. i get leveled with the ground again and push him to the side. behind him, there is a small foldable table with two people sitting at it. i walk over with my resume and script in my hands. 

"hi, i'm nailea devora, going for the part of claire banks." i say. the woman to the right smiles and picks up a clipboard with a whole bunch of names on the paper clipped to it.

"tsk...tsk...tsk..." she makes a noise as she's running her finger down the papers. "ah! nailea, going for claire, please sign here." she says as she puts the clipboard down and turns it around so i can read it. she hands me a pen and i sign. the man to the next to her reaches under the table and grabs a lanyard with a card attached to it. on the card was the number sixty four. 

"find a chair and wait for your number to be called. when it is, go through that orange door over there and walk straight down the hallway. it's about a twenty minute wait, depending on how long these bozos take." he says. he sounds lifeless--like he hates his job. or life. can't tell which one. i nod my head to show him i'm listening. 

"do you have any family with you?" the woman asks.

"yes, my mom and my friend." i say.

"okay, well you can only have one person go back there with you, or no one at all. it doesn't matter, it's up to you!" she says kindly. i think i like the woman better than the guy. he's boring. and mean. "oh, and there's a room over there that you can run lines in if you need to," she says, pointing to another orange door behind me. what's with this building and the color orange? heck, the bricks it was made out of are orange.

i smile and walk away. as i make my way over to my mom and avani to tell them what they told me, vinnie steps in front of me. "wanna go run lines with me?" he asks.

"why would i wanna do that with you of all people?" i ask. "i'd rather do it with your dad, who can't keep a straight face even if someone just had a heart attack." i say. i meant every word of it, too.

about fifteen minutes later, my number was called.

"god, i hope this goes well." i say under my breath.