Free-Fall: Vigilante Tommyinnit AU

《CHAPTER EIGHTEEN》

Tommy POV-

"Tommy, did you ever know your birth parents?"

God fucking dammit Philza.  Why are you like this??

"I mean, yeah, for a little bit, but I started switching around families when I turned, 5, maybe 4 or so", I said, Philza swallowed hard, "do you ever miss your birth family?", I looked Philza directly in the eyes, he was already suspicious. "No", "I never miss them", I said, and I smiled, "i'm better, in this current time of my life, and having them in it, it would ruin absolutely everything", "Do....do you really feel like that?", Philza asked with a guilty frown. God- don't look at me like that. "yes", I stated, "They abandoned me, you know? If they didn't want me then, they don't get to want me now", I said.

He abandoned me- it was always about Wilbur and Technoblade.

Then when I actually had a good family- they took them away from me too. Then Schlatt- fucking hell, that man, that poor man- had to deal with the fucking burden of having me as a son. He never complaint either- he loved me like he did Tubbo- loved us both equally- then the fucking "Heroes", took him away from both of us- them that fucking green bastard who always insists on playing "god". 

Not that it's his fault. I might have done the same for my friends. Though, I guess Dream and George aren't just friends. 

I wondered what happened to Sapnap- god, I haven't seen him in quite the while.

"You think they didn't want you?", Philza gasped lightly, I could only nod, "How could I not? Philza, believe me, if you had been there- if- if you could have seen  how I was treated, you would think the same too"

You were there. You do know, I see it on your face, you know- but you won't say anything. God knows why you won't say anything.

'he doesn't want to drive you away again', 'shut up, you stupid voice'

"I know why your talking to me about this", I said, Philza paled once more, "do you?", his voice was calm, but I could tell based off the color draining from his face and the way his wings fluffed up anxiously, he was so, so  worried, and so scared. Why are you scared Phil?

'He doesn't want you to leave' , 'Worried father', 'he's scared of losing you again;

Far too many voices spoke, and I quickly shut them up as I continued speaking to Philza.

"I know you care Phil" I said softly, "-and believe me when I say I appreciate it, because I really do, never before as someone been so genuinely caring towards me like this, but please, don't tire yourself out by doing this, I can see it, your worried, and I truly appreciate how caring you are to me, but I cant....I can't just let you keep dong this when I know you shouldn't", I said, "Tire myself out?? Tommy, I- no, oh my gods, no, it's not like that- I do care for you, yes, but you don't understand-", "I understand plenty, Philza, don't misunderstand what i'm saying, I just don't want you to waste your time on something i'm over", "But it's not, it's not wasting my time by doing this-", "do you know what 'this', is?", "Of course, Tommy! Shit, your-", "I'm what?", Philza let out a huff of frustration and I stood up, "I'll tell you what I am: over it, Philza", "But your not!", "How do you know that?", "Because- I just know! Your not- your not over it, and i'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry", "Why are you sorry?", He didn't say anything, and I shook my head slowly, pushing the chair away, and making my way to the door, "Your wasting your time with this, Philza. My family matters aren't your business, I understand you feel an obligation to talk to me about this, as a Hero-", "I have an obligation to talk to you about this because I'm your father!", and I was frozen in place. Time seemed to slow down in a way I don't even think Timescape could explain. I felt my heart beating so loud, I was sure Philza could hear it all the way from his desk. I knew he knew, but that didn't stop the feeling of dread and sorrow from returning, "Yeah? Well, you never acted like it",  I soon realized the feeling never left.

"I'm over it", I whispered, clenching my fists tightly, "Your not", Philza said quietly, "and i'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you behind-", "But you did", I said softly, a shattered sob caught in my throat, "I- I know, and I know sorry won't fix it, but It was never my intention to leave you, it wasn't meant to turn out like this, I just-", "You just didn't want a son that was powerless".

The feeling never left.

Boffy POV-

I didn't want to mess things up for Tommy again.

I guess I wouldn't really call it messing up, but more like standing by, and I say again, because the first time, all I could do was stand by while Tommy had to put up with Philza while he wasn't in the right mind.

Tommy sniffled, making an effort to wipe away his tears with long yellow sleeves. All I could do at the moment was simply lift him up and sing him to sleep when Wilbur was gone, gone with his new friends, while Technoblade constantly worked with Philza, usually training or going on missions. Leaving Tommy alone to fend for himself. He's 5, he shouldn't have to fend for himself. "Toms", I cooed lightly, I wasn't good with children. Hell, I didn't even like kids, but this one- this boy had found a way to crawl into my heart and make me do things like singing him to sleep, or letting him draw on my face. "Buby", "It's Boffy", "Buby", He smiled, I couldn't help but smile too. I helped him wipe away at his tears, and I tucked him into bed. "I'll be back tomorrow morning to make you breakfast, if your dad isn't back till then, i'll be staying with you again", Tommy smiled, and he cheered at the idea of my staying again. 

I wouldn't trade the time I spent with Tommy for anything. I just wish I could have knocked some sense into Philza, but it wasn't like my presence was ever acknowledged by him.

"Is it true?", "Is what true Toms?", " did I make Mumza leave?", I couldn't help but be angry at that, "No. It's not true, you didn't make her leave. Did your dad say that to you?", "nu uh, he was tellin' tech"

Philza may have not been in the right mind, and maybe he sees that now, but it doesn't excuse how he treated Tommy. If Tommy ever forgives him, of course i'll respect his decision, but I can not promise I won't go off on Philza when given the chance.