Hysterical letters to my sanity

mitskimondays

You try to play pretty,
Okay kind, sweet, sane,
Impossible tasks nearly every second
but you swallow all of it, because it's easier to be choked silently by yourself than mouth full, confessing violent vulnerability.
you take you pills and drink your water
take baths— do face masks
write out your bad thoughts and burn them,
keep the good ones underneath your pillow in hopes they will become reality.
wear clean socks, brush your teeth and hair, go to work, eat food!
Always remember that!
Take pills, sleep, eat, pretty, sane,
And you wake up one day and it's not enough, god maybe it's never been enough, and you're hungry for something, anything.
One day you wake up and it's always been enough, it's more than enough it's nearly too much and you'd possibly like to be back in the shit because at least the chaos is comfortable, at least she tells you that you belong here with her instead of out in the world. One day, someday, not today, maybe not tomorrow either, I will wake up and not worry.