𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫, 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

51. cheese grate my nipples off.

F I F T Y - O N E
cheese grate my nipples off.

Having your first proper fight as a couple is one of those milestones that fucking sucks.

JJ and I's first fight as a couple was stupid. I offered to get him a coconut, and he flipped out on me. Apparently, he could get his own coconuts and didn't need me to get them for him. You'd think offering to get a probably concussed guy a coconut was kind... you'd be wrong.

He shouted at me for offering to get him a fucking coconut.

After that, it wasn't really the same; it was tense, and he didn't apologise, instead pretending it hadn't happened. Needless to say, I didn't offer to get him any more coconuts.

The second fight was what really killed it.

It was also meaningless, I cried about one of the buttons on my shirt falling off—it wasn't really about the actual button, it was everything bubbling over, and he told me I was 'ruining the vibe.' He did apologise for that, to his credit. But I think he only did it because he thought I'd throw myself off a cliff.

Kiara and JJ got a lot closer over the time we spent in Poguelandia. I'm happy JJ found someone he could confide in, because we aren't that person to each other anymore. But if I ever wanted to talk to him, he was always about to go somewhere, or do something with Kie. And as JJ got closer to Kie, Kie got further away from me. I lost my boyfriend and best friend in one fell swoop.

Though the more I think about it, I've been losing Kie for a while now. I can't pinpoint when, but our friendship has been falling apart since before the island.

I cheated on Rafe. I'm not in denial about it, I'm self-aware. I try and argue that I had extenuating circumstances, you know, the whole throwing things at me and threats of family financial destruction. Extenuating circumstances or not, there's no way around the fact that I had relations with JJ whilst in a relationship with Rafe. And it's not out of the realm of possibility to have some karmic retribution.

What better retribution than my boyfriend fucking my best friend?

But JJ always slept with me come night.

He wouldn't do that if he was fucking Kie on the side? No matter how hard I try and convince myself of that, I think back to how I'd sleep with JJ, and then go for dinner with Rafe. Sometimes I didn't didn't have time for a proper shower, I'd clean up at the Maybank's cracked sink.

Isn't there a saying, if they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you?

It's stupid, sitting in a silky red dress, on a bed with obnoxious bed sheets, in a house with some crazed man who abducts teenagers, thinking about if my kinda boyfriend is cheating on me with my kinda best friend.

There are more pressing matters at hand, but I can't get it out of my head.

A strong knock on the door rips me from my spiral, my body automatically stands up at the noise. The door swings open, "He's ready," the housekeeper from earlier says, her face still giving nothing away. They have got to be robots.

I want to ask for more information; who is he, does he want to kill me, does he want information, what the fuck does he want?

I follow the woman with the perfectly ironed uniform, walking down the hall and the wooden spiral stairs, getting back to the ground floor. She stops at an open door, her arm extends, gesturing for me to go inside. I mumble a thank you and walk in carefully. I don't think there's a bomb or trip wire triggered flame throwers, but that's how I'm walking.

The room in question is a grandiose dining room, massive, with a long mahogany table sitting in the centre. The table is set for a dozen people, plates, glasses and cutlery sitting perfectly. This room isn't exempt from the massive amounts of seemingly valuable items. They cover the surfaces and walls.