Nikki Potter: A Sister's Betrayal

Chapter fifteen

With each step, Nikki's eyes flickered to something else in the great hall, a strange feeling in her stomach made her fiddle with her fingers. She was unsure about this feeling, was it related to the cold she had? Or something different.

Nikki smoothed her Hogwarts robes out, slowly starting to trail behind Lily, it felt like its been so long since she was at Hogwarts, but in reality it wasn't. It didn't feel like she was just coming back from Holidays.

Things on the train ride back to Hogwarts were weird, Nikki had began to wonder if she should put walls up, Lily seemed discontent halfway through the ride. And not once did James or any of his friends came to pester Nikki, like they normally did.

Nikki look down slightly, wondering again if she should go on guard, to protect herself from being hurt. She knew how Severus felt, and that he would never feel the same for her. But what Nikki didn't know, is if Lily had some sort of feelings for him as well.

She wanted to say that she would be okay if Lily did like Severus, that she would be completely fine if Lily felt the same way Severus did for her and for as long. Nikki wanted to say that.

But there was something inside of Nikki that made her unable to say it, whenever she went to ask if Lily liked Severus while on the train, her words always seemed to get stuck. Or lost within a second, and Nikki didn't understand why.

Each time Nikki tried to ask, a part of her was scared to hear the answer, and a small part of her hurt at the thought of the fact that Lily might like him. Maybe I don't want her to like him wondered Nikki in her thoughts.

“Sevvy!” said Lily, making Nikki look up. Nikki bit her lip softly and looked behind her, making sure James wasn't going to up to them and snap at them and try and bully Severus, yet again.

When Lily began to talk about her Holiday, Severus glanced over at Nikki, who hadn't even spoken a word to him, and barely even given him a much as a glance. Is she going to pull away again he wondered.

Severus felt like he had made a mistake, he had probably just got Nikki to hang around him again, then went and kissed her. Now, Nikki seemed uncomfortable around him, and so far from reality most of the time.

But would he take it back? Find a way to go back in time so he could make it so he never kissed her? Though he felt like he made a mistake by kissing her, Severus didn't think he would take it back.

“I'm going to the common room” said Nikki in a soft voice, her eyes stayed away from Severus “ I will talk to you guys later” she added, before walking past them to go to the Gryffindor common room.

After a silent moment, Lily spoke up “She is confused” she said “Nikki is.” added Lily in clarification, her green eyes wandered the students at the tables “She doesn't know how to feel about everything” continued Lily.

Lily wondered if she should ask Severus who he had feelings for, it seemed like a better time then ever. But I wasn't supposed know thought Lily, remembering that Nikki had said she wasn't meant to tell her that Severus had told her that he did have feelings for someone.

Going into this year, Severus thought he was going to spend it yearning over Lily. Waiting for the moment that she fell for him just like he fell for her those years ago, to finally see him more than a friend.

He once thought about Lily all the time, whenever Severus was around her, he was happy, he was in love. But things seemed to be changing for him, they were no longer the same as the previous year.

Severus did love Lily, that he was more than sure was, and he wanted nothing to be with her. But is it possible thought Severus, was it possible that he was actually starting to have feelings for Nikki?

As Nikki walked to the Gryffindor common room, her eyes wandered the corridors, she listened briefly to whispers by students as they rushed by. She even saw two students snogging in one of the corners of the corridor.

Averting her eyes, Nikki kept walking. Seeing Severus made the feeling in her stomach get worse, it even spread to her heart. Nikki lowered her gaze to her feet as she kept walking, feeling like she knew the way well enough to do so.

“Out of all the people” murmured Nikki, and brushed her hair out of her eyes “I had to like the one who is in love with my best friend...” added Nikki in a whisper, trying to ignore the burning feeling in her eyes.

It was getting harder for Nikki to accept the fact that Severus loved Lily, and with passing time, it began to hurt Nikki knowing that Severus loved Lily. And now, her heart was starting to yearn for Severus.

Why couldn't it been me that he wants thought Nikki, biting down on her lip to keep from tears forming in her hazel eyes. Why does he have to be in love with her? She doesn't even notice how he looks at her continued Nikki in thought.

When Nikki approached the portrait to get into the Gryffindor common room, she muttered the password just loud enough for the Fat Lady to hear. Her cheery mood that she had before she left the house was no more.

Once Nikki entered the common room and caught sight of Remus, she quickly whipped her eyes with her thumbs, to make sure she had no tears. Explaining to Remus why she was crying wasn't something Nikki wanted to do.

“Hello” greeted Nikki, trying to seem as cheerful as possible. When she sat down on of of the couches, James raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms with a clearly disappointed look on his face.

Remus looked from Nikki to James “James, just forget it.” he said, in a calm voice. This made Nikki grow curious, what was Remus trying James to forget? Had he seen her talking with Severus?

The last thing Nikki needed or wanted was for James to yell at her for that, he had already done of enough of that. Nikki was sure he was getting more than tired of her shaking it off and hanging out with Severus either way.

“James.” sighed Nikki, and laid back on the couch “Please don't start this, I'm not in the mood” she said, staring at the ceiling of the common room, she really wasn't in the mood for James to lecture her.

James relaxed his shoulder a bit, remembering that Nikki was sick, and was probably tired “Fine.” he said, clearly not happy about it though. He decided to let it slide for once, feeling that stress wasn't going to help Nikki get better anytime soon.

Though James was rough on Nikki, and snapped at her a lot for hanging around him a lot. Most of the time he didn't feel like he was being mean, he was just trying to protect her. And he didn't want to her to be around those he didn't like, Nikki is his little sister, it was his job to act this way.

James watched as Nikki murmured something he didn't understand then slowly drift to sleep, all he truly wanted for her to do was not hang around Snivellus. And he hoped that what she was going through was some sort of phase, and that the feelings she claimed to have for Snivellus would go away.