Nikki Potter: A Sister's Betrayal

Chapter eighteen

“And I wonder, If ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time”

Lady Antebellum- Need You Now.

Remus stared at the ceiling as he laid on his bed in the Boys Dorm, he was sure that it was pretty late, but he had no idea of the time. His mind was cluttered and he was starting to feel some effects from the upcoming full moon.

His first year, he didn't tell anyone about being a werewolf, not even his best friends. Whenever there was a full moon, he lied to them and said he had to visit his ill mother, he was scared of losing them.

Remus was glad he did end up telling them, a part of him was glad that he wasn't the one who told Nikki. It had been James who told her, shortly after he found out about it himself.

Her reaction was different than not only how Remus expected, but different from the ones he had the courage to tell. Nikki had looked at him with a amazed look, and for the whole day she asked him questions, like he was the most amazing person she met.

It was the way she smiled at him, the way she seemed so excited to talk to him about something he was worried that would scare people away, how she took to him faster than she did with Sirius.

It was that which started Remus' feelings for Nikki, how she slowly made her way into his heart. Though it wasn't until more recently that he really knew how strong his feelings were, he knew that that was also the year he fell in love with her.

If he had realized this last year, he would've of told her then, possibly even in a heart's beat. But this year he struggled to do so, whenever he felt like he should, something came up or he lost all courage to do it.

And he was scared that if he did tell her and she somehow returned his feeling, that he would end up hurting her. That she would be with him on a full moon, and that he would lose control and hurt her.

Remus sighed and sat up, he doubted that he was going to get any sleep tonight, like much nights before, he couldn't sleep because he was thinking of Nikki. However this was one of the few times he was thinking of a way to tell her he was in love with her.

He quietly got out of bed, careful not to wake the others, and quietly walked down to the common room. And much like he expected, no one else was down there, they were all asleep in their dorms.

Remus walked over to one of he windows and rested his arms on it, his eyes wandered to the almost full moon, it felt like it stared back tauntingly at him. Tomorrow is the full moon he thought sadly.

“Can't sleep either?” asked Nikki, making Remus jump and nearly hit his head on the window, he turned around and faced Nikki who had a light blue and white blanket wrapped around her.

Shaking his head, Remus stepped away from the window “Too many things on my mind” replied Remus “What is keeping you up?” He asked, watching Nikki sit down with the blanket still around her.

“Lots on my mind, too” said Nikki, her eyes were on the fireplace, that had no flame at the moment “And, I guess I'm kind of afraid...” she confessed quietly, looking over at Remus slightly.

Remus sat down next to her “What are you afraid of?” he asked, guessing that she was going to say something about the dream that she had the night before. From the way she reacted in her sleep, Remus as sure that it was bad enough for her to be afraid to go to sleep.

“I'm afraid of losing some people...” admitted Nikki “That if I go to sleep, that they will be gone when I wake up..” she added, lowering her eyes to her hands. After what happened after she left the hospital wing, she was terrified of losing people.

This made Remus wonder who she was afraid of losing, and what made her fear losing them “It will be okay... Don't worry..” said Remus softly, pushing the thoughts of who she could be afraid of losing aside.

Nikki sighed and adjusted herself so her head was on Remus' shoulder and her feet were tucked behind her “I hope so...” she whispered “I really don't want to lose them..” she continued, her voice getting quieter.

Remus could hear his heart beat in his head, he wasn't sure if this was real or if he had fallen asleep. He really wished that this was real, not a dream that was playing with his emotions once again.

Neither of them spoke for a long while, eventually Nikki gave into the sleepiness that was slowly chasing her, and fell asleep with her head still on Remus' shoulder. And once Remus noticed, he carefully draped the blanket she had over her.

Remus tried to stay as still as possible, he didn't have the heart to wake Nikki, and he just wanted to stay in this moment for as long as he could. Even if he knew by day break it will be all over, and Nikki probably wouldn't remember it.

And then, Nikki who was still asleep, moved her arm around Remus and moved her head down to his chest. This must be a dream.. thought Remus, his breath stuck in his chest, to him this was too good to be true..

Remus knew that he had to tell her that he was in love with her, and he had to do it soon before someone else comes along and takes her away.. He knew that if he wanted the chance to do it he had to do it tomorrow when Nikki had no class and James had Quidditch.

Severus snuck out of the Slytherin common room, hoping he wouldn't be spotted by a Prefect, even if he had a reason he wasn't sure if the Prefect would care. Slytherin house was just barely in the lead for the house cup, and he wasn't sure how many points would point them behind.

The corridors were mainly quiet, expect for a few ghosts that were snoring. Severus knew that Peeves didn't lurk around too much at this time, and when he did it was usually around the Gryffindor common room.

Severus slid into the boy's restroom and walked over to the sinks, he turned the water to as cold as it could get before splashing it on his face. It eased the nauseous feeling that he had gotten when he thought of what happened earlier that day.

Not only what happened between him and Nikki, but afterwards, Lily had said Nikki had been avoiding her most of the day. And she wondered if Severus knew what was going on, and if Nikki was okay.

Severus couldn't help but blame himself, for Nikki hurting, for her avoiding him and now Lily. If he hadn't walked away when he kissed Nikki, he didn't think she would be avoiding him, if he didn't talk about Lily all the time when they were alone, she wouldn't be avoiding Lily.

Even if he did talk about Lily when he didn't know Nikki's feelings for him, he still regretted it, he felt bad for doing it now that he knew that Nikki did have feelings for him, ones that Lily didn't have for him.

Severus wouldn't blame her if she chose to never speak to him again, and after the way she seemed after getting out of the hospital wing, he would expect her to not speak to him anymore.

But he only wished that he didn't start to have feelings for her before all this, or that if he did have feelings before that he had realized it sooner. That he didn't walk away when he kissed her, that he stayed with her...