𝗔𝗿𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗲

Epilogue

Tom Holland

She left.

Now I feel that the cold has taken hold of me. I can't go on. And she will continue in me.

I am still thinking what would have happened if I had done something. And for not trying little by little her desire was wearing away. It hurts me to know that she is no longer here.

I didn't know what I had until I lost it. I live disoriented since she is not here. There is no time, no space, no freedom. I don't understand how I didn't see it. But to be honest, deep down, even though it hurts, I sensed it. How without saying it, in the background of her eyes I saw that she was going to leave.

She can't ask me to stop loving her. Nor that time will help to forget. I just want to hug her again and get her back.

And although time passes, I will not forget her.
And although I did not know how to show it, I fell in love.
And I didn't want to lose her.

As much as she says that this has come to an end, we both know that we are made for each other.

We are probably meant to be but not made to last.

I regret not telling her and showing her how I felt. I want her to forgive me. But it is that I could not even explain it to me.

I do not know what to do now that I know that ours is over. I can't take a day without her. I'm still waiting for her.

But maybe loving her has been a mistake.

Why did she forgot the reasons to be here?

Why did she left the words that I wanted to say?

She told me to forget about her. That time heals and continues. But she is still here. And I don't think she'll ever leave.

They say love does not kill... but it does hurt. And it hurts so much that inside you die.

I don't care about anything if I can't love her. And even if she already left, I want her to stay.

There was a great emptiness when I first left. False promises and dreams that no longer exist. Eternal summer. Spring without winter. I neglected the flame of love and it became hell.

It wasn't my fault this time and I still feel guilty... I still want to say that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I am not enough. I feel that among so many people. I would choose to fall in love with the one that the wind is blowing today.

But I promise to wait for her and don't forget. I want her to give me one last kiss that makes me dream.

And this cry of pain, this love, will never shut up.

I prefer to live waiting to accept that she is not here. I love her so much, and she doesn't know how much.

I can tell she is worried and scared. She found no way out of hell. The congregation meeting is today, and she promised to have the answer to who the assassin is. She has no way out this time.

All the members are on their respective chairs, waiting for the queen. Small chatter going around as they wait. No so much later she arrived. She directed herself to her place on the rectangle table and called for silence. The meeting started.

"So, your majesty, you got us answers?" That more than being spoke as a question was an order.

Her cold eyes stare at the member who recently spoke. No word came out of her mouth.

"You promised us answers," all the mens in the room started to get disturb. Chaos started growing in the room. Y/n started to panic.

I won't fail her again.

I'll be her boat if the flood comes. I will be her coat in the harsh winter. I would cross the deepest dessert for her. Her path is full of walls now, but I will walk with her upon the sea. Even in her dreams, I'll build a safe harbor.

I will love her forever.

I won't fail her.

"She found out who did it." I step closer to the table. All the eyes were now on me. Hers were hiding the fear.

"And who are you?" One of them asked me.

"My name is Thomas. I served on the army during four years. Commander in command during three. I helped to end the war."

"And what is someone with your features doing here?" One asked. Other asked another knight to check if what I said is true.

"A miracle," I whispered and looked at the one I didn't know how to love. "You would have done the same after four years of being in hell."

The other knight returned and confirmed my past to the lord.

The whole time my eyes tried hard not to find their way to the owner of them. Until now, they have done a successful job.

"And you claim to know who did all this attacks?" An old and fat man asked. His tone suggested he doesn't trust me.

"Yes, sir." My brown eyes found hers. They're full of apprehension. I looked down.

"Okay, lets listen to what you have to say."

I can't dare to look her in the eyes. I looked up to one of the members and said, "I did it."

Shocked gazes on me. Including the queens one.

"Why would someone with your degree and past do such a thing?"

"No," the only woman in the room spoke. The gazes turn to look at her.

But I am not letting her speak. "I'm sorry, your majesty," she knows what I apologize for. "There is a pattern," I looked back to the man who questioned me, "they all insulted the queen before, they thought she was no capable and I could go on with the list. Some of them even threatened her."

"Why would it matter so much what they did?" One that hadn't spoke earlier asked.

I looked at her. "Because..." We locked our eyes. The rest of the room staring at me, waiting for an answer.

"Falling in love with the wrong person bring consequences you don't want to face, Holland." Leopold words echoed in my head. He discovered what I felt towards her and compel myself to leave the palace.

"Because I love her." The room exclaimed in surprise, "and they, those men didn't trust her. And she is the best monarch you will ever see. If they weren't in her side, they were against her and so I made sure they knew they chose the wrong side." At the end my eyes traveled all around the room.

And they bought the lie. She is safe.

"After this statement there is nothing more to say," the lord turned to look at everyone on the table. Y/n gaze is still on me, her mouth not able to speak. "We condemn you to a dead warrant."

And at the end... love does kill you.