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tri.nit.y I don't know what I'm gonna do without your voice and your energy around me. I miss you like crazy already. We've been through a lot but I will never forget the things you've done for me. You were my first love and the love of my life for almost four years ❤️ he's okay. Rakim is okay you guys, he's not gone, I can feel him next to me right now 💕 he's my Angel and he's protecting all of us 🙏
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"Hi Trinity." I hear behind me.
I turn around to see Rakim's, very pregnant baby mama Ryan. She had a look on her face as if she had been crying. We all did.
It was time to clear out Rakim's place. The police did a little more investigating but nothing changed. I couldn't even begin to think about letting them throw out any of his things. So me and the family decided we'd come at different times and do it accordingly. But I've been popping in and out through out the day.
If anybody knows how much Rakim took pride in his belongings it's me. I used to threaten to set his shoes on fire when we got into heated arguments. But I never did cause I already knew what that was gonna look like.
I can't believe he's gone. It feels like just yesterday I was living in this very house with him. We were planning our wedding and talking about the house we want to get when we moved to Atlanta. Rakim had millions of people he could've voiced his frustrations to. Even Jordan and I would've helped him. For him to take his own life angers me. I know it shouldn't. But it does.
"Hi." I say standing up slowly.
Ryan looked down and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. I know I'm the last person you want to see but-"
"Why would you think that?" I ask shaking my head.
"BecUse I'm pregnant—by your ex." She said in a 'duh' tone. "Look Rakim and I were a one time thing and I just happened to get pregnant but there's was no type of relationship, and I wasn't trying to ruin your relationship when I told him, I'm not that type of person-"
"Look Ryan you don't have to explain yourself to me! I get it. I cheated on Rakim and got pregnant with my daughter. I'm not one to judge. I wanted him to take care of his baby with you. I pushed him to be a good dad or at least try... I'm sad that he didn't even get a chance. I know how bad he wanted a baby." I say looking at his hoodie that was laying on the bed.
"He said that you were a good person... He wasn't lying." Ryan said. "We started to build a friendship she and he confided in me how much you meant to him. I know some people might think that's weird but he always told me if he couldn't have you he didn't want anything. That's why I had to assure him that my intentions weren't to break you guys up. I just wanted him around." Ryan said softly smiling.
