Xenoblade Chronicles 2: The New Future

Interlude: Struggles

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I struggled a lot to sleep this night.
After I said goodnight to Mythra the moment we came back from giving the man his ring, I managed to sleep for about 2-3 hours, but for some reason I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep.

I changed positions over and over and over... I tried to imagine stories inside my head and even counting core crystals to fall asleep and I found nothing but failure.

Everytime I saw Rex in his deep sleep, I felt jealous. I wanted to had my eyes closed and enter that biological trance to recover the energy spent today.

After fighting for 20 minutes to induce some sleep in me, I gave up.
I sighed deeply in disappointment and in desperation.

I moved my legs to the side and sit on the edge of my bed facing the wall that had the door.
I put some jeans on top of the shorts that used to sleep and put on my usual boots.

I stood up and grabbed my coat and put it on too. I decided to not fight anymore and just try to find something to do to kill time and get the slightest feeling of sleepiness.

I turned the doorknob slowly and as quietly as possible to not wake up everyone.
When the door was fully open, I quickly checked the inside pocket of my coat for the papers that the informant gave today in the morning. Once my fingers touched the texture of folded paper, I felt relieved.

I got out of the room and I decided to go and sit on a bench in the central plaza.
I closed the door slowly once again and then I started walking. I tuck my hands inside my coat but before continuing, I quickly backtracked to grab my scarf to cover my neck from the late cold.

As I exited the inn, I wrapped the scarf around my neck and started checking for available benches in the central plaza.

I spotted the nearest bench and it was empty. I went towards it's direction. However, while I was walking, I had this feeling inside me of anxiety. I knew I wasn't in danger or something like that... I just had this feeling.

Once I reached my destination, I sat down and leaned my back. I crossed my arms then exhaled a big sigh.

I tried to find some moments of peace for my mind. While I tried to relax, I heard many sounds like the wind rubbing my face, people talking, the wood burning from the torches and I heard in the distance a very dim howl of a Volff.

I took 3 deep breaths as I focused on my heart beat and breathing. I found the peace I needed.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment and for some reason I imagined what could happen the moment I told Mythra that I was going to depart.
Well... I wasn't scared at all, I just wanted to ensure she didnt have any reason to come with me.

I imagined a lot of situations and potential outcomes.

What if I tried to go straight to the point?
What if I tried telling a lie?
What if I just told her our path ends here?

Probably she would be happy or sad the moment I tell her something related that we had to take different paths. Before, she would say something like 'oh finally I'm free from you. LETS GOOOO' or something like that.

But after what we have lived during our stay in Tantal and partially in Uraya... Well... I personally feel we have a deeper friendship. So her saying something like 'oh... Really? Where are you going?' was a possibility.

I didn't know. My mind just kept thinking and thinking and thinking. This overthinking killed the peace I gained. My thoughts were bouncing erratically inside of my head.
And then, this feeling of anxiety came back.