And Baby Makes...?

Chapter 13

They directed me to Samantha's bedside. Erin helped me walk to her room. I looked at my daughter, lying on the bed pale, a machine breathing for her. Her left arm encased in a plaster cast. Tubes and wires came out from everywhere.

It reminded me of her drowning the previous spring in California. But then had been an accident. This was my fault. I'd startled her. I'd made her fall. And all because I'd been careless with my words.

I pulled a chair up to Sam's bedside and took her hand.

"Sam, sweetheart?" I cried as I held her slack hand. "Sam, honey. I'm so sorry."

Erin stood beside me.

"Jenna, do you want me to stay?"

I looked up, forgetting for a second that she'd been here with me this whole time.

"I - I don't know. I, whatever you think," I stammered. I couldn't make decisions. My focus was one hundred percent on Samantha.

"Tyler is on his way home," Erin said, kneeling beside me.

"He's going to hate me," I sobbed.

"No he isn't. Why would you think that?"

"It's my fault Sam is here," I cried. "I upset her. Then I startled her and she fell off the bridge. I killed her."

"You didn't kill her. Look, she's alive. She'll heal," Erin tried to make me feel better.

"She's in a coma, Erin. She may not wake up. They don't know how bad the damage is."

"They also don't know if there is any damage. She may have just had a bad bump on the head. Try to think positively. Your daughter is going to be okay, and she'll be up and about and ready to meet her sibling, any day."

I broke down into tears again. Who knew if Samantha would wake up when the baby came? Or before?

"Is it okay if I bring Jill by? Tomorrow or the next day?"

I nodded. Samantha would like that. She'd like to have Jill here, I think.

"I'm going to go, okay? Tyler is on his way back, and if you need anything, you just call or text me, okay? Any time."

I nodded. I needed my daughter to wake up so I could explain what she heard. I needed her to forgive me. I needed her to be okay.

I sat there, silent, watching Samantha's chest rise and fall with the machine. I listened to the steady beeping of her heart monitor. I listened to the whoosh of the machines.

I got up and sat on the bed, taking Samantha's hand and putting it on my belly.

"Your baby brother or sister is trying to say hello," I said, as the baby kicked. "Come on sweetheart. You have to wake up. The little Peanut needs their older sister."

I curled up next to Samantha and held her in my arms while I cried.

I must have fallen asleep, because it was Tyler's eyes looking into mine that was my first sight. I smiled.

"Hey," I said. "I must have fallen asleep. When did you get home?"

Tyler looked at me strangely.

"Jen? Do you know where you are?"

I looked around and reality crashed back. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at Samantha's slack form in my arms.

Tyler pulled me up and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"It's okay. It's okay, baby," he said as I cried. "It's going to be okay."

"It's my fault," I cried. "It's my fault. I scared her and she fell."

"It was an accident. It was no one's fault," Tyler tried to assure me.

I cried into my husband's shoulder.

"Hey, kid," I heard another voice in front of me. Josh was sitting on Samantha's other side. "Hey, you gonna wake up?"

Tears continued to flow out of my eyes. Tyler kept holding me.

"I'm so sorry, Tyler. You must hate me," I said.

"Why would I hate you?  Jenna, I love you," he said.

"But I did this to Samantha. It's my fault. I startled her and she fell. She wouldn't be here if I'd just been more careful how I worded things," I cried.

Josh came over and hugged me as well.

"It was an accident, Jenna. You didn't mean for her to fall. She's not used to people caring about her still. No one has ever chased her to the park before us," Tyler said.

Josh said goodbye for the night and said he'd be back in the morning.  He offered to bring me home to change but I said no. I wasn't leaving Samantha's side until she woke up."

Tyler sat in the chair and pulled me to him. He put one arm around me and with the other, picked up Samantha's slack hand.

"Hey baby. It's Dad. I'm here, sweetheart. You concentrate on getting better, okay?"

I leaned into my husband while I watched the machines breathe for Samantha.