A Glimpse Inside My Head

Thought #3

I've always been a bit of a health nut.

I always worry about my health and don't reason very well with my own thoughts.

My mom and therapists and even doctors can calm me down, but sometimes I can't get the thought out of my head.

Lately, I've been thinking so much about one specific problem I've been having.

I've always had irregular and heavy periods, but never been one to have bad cramps.

As of more recently tho, I've had my period ever 2 to 3 weeks and my periods are becoming more and more painful. I don't want to complain but they're really bad and even lead me to the ER.

They did an ultrasound in April of 2020. I had 2 cyst and my ovaries were slightly enlarged. I've done my research and ovaries are supposed to be about 2.5 to 5 cm long, 1.5 cm to 3 cm wide, .6 to 1.5 cm thick, and 3 to 6 mL in volume.

My ovaries at the time were 5.9 x 4.2 x 3.8 cm for the right and 4 x 3 x 2.4 cm for the left. The ovaries were only mildly enlarged according to the report. I also had two small cyst, one on either ovary, and they measured 3.2 x 2.5 x 2.7 cm for the right and 2.2 x 1.8 x 1.9 cm for the left.

The doctors didn't think say anything was out of the usual but I was kind of concerned about the cyst. They said it was normal to have cyst so I pushed the thoughts away until about 6 months ago when my periods came every two weeks.

I was very concerned and didn't know what to think. The doctor only prescribed me birth control so I could keep my periods regular. I told the doctor I didn't want birth control and she asked, "what do you want me to do then?"

I simply agreed to the birth control since I kind of felt pressured and was unsure of what I wanted to ask for nor did I know how to stand up for myself.

I didn't end up taking them because I felt like it would just cover up the issue and not fix what I thought was wrong. I hate taking medications so I didn't want to add another to my already long list of meds. After a while, I got used to the periods ever two weeks until my periods became only 5 days apart.

I ended up in the ER in early November of 2021 due to severe pain and heavy bleeding. They performed another ultrasound and found a few things, but they didn't operate or tell me anything about what they found. Simply saying they found cyst. They prescribed me Ibuprofen and let me go.

I later read the report they gave me. They only gave it to me so I could follow up with my gynecologist and see what could be done.

The report said my right ovary was 7.9 x 4.9 x 6.3 cm for a total volume of 127 mL. My left ovary measured 5.1 x 2.8 x 3.6 cm with a total volume of 27.1 mL.

Two cyst were found. I'm assuming they're the same ones found a year and a half ago. The right one measured 6.4 x 4.1 x 5.7 cm. The left one measured 2.2 x 2.1 x 2.4 cm.

Obviously, I was concerned.

My left ovary was back to the "normal size" but my right ovary had only gotten larger along with the cyst on both sides (the left one only grew a few points of a cm but it grew nonetheless).

I made an appointment with my gynecologist but she wasn't available to I went with another doctor. This doctor was much nicer and more understanding.

I asked her questions and she answered them unlike my last doctor.

I asked about the cyst and asked why they didn't operate. She told me they didn't usually operate cyst in the ER, and she said that she didn't do surgery.

I asked about the enlarged ovaries and she asked if I had gotten an ultrasound done before the one at the ER. I said yes and she looked up the results on her computer.

She said the same thing I had thought. My left ovary had gotten smaller but my right ovary had grown bigger.

She said, "I don't like that. Not one bit."

That set off a red flag in my head and asked what the next steps were. She said since the report recommended a follow up ultrasound in 6-10 weeks, she would put in the order for another one.

She also recommended me to the specialist on the other side of the building.

I have made the appointment, and am just waiting for the time to pass so I can get it done and over with.

I don't know what to expect and don't know if I'm overthinking again, but I can't help but worry that something is wrong.

I don't want to be dramatic but I'm genuinely concerned about this.

I'm currently on my period and I'm hurting really baldly, but I'm not gonna head to the ER because they'll tell me the same thing as last time.

I just have to wait it out until the ultrasound and my appointment with the specialist. I'm honestly kind of impatient but I'll have to suck it up for the time being.

~A