Timothèe Chalamet Imagines

❅ 𝙄𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 ❅

||TW: Mentions of substance abuse||
**Nic's POV**
I've been thinking about fixing things everything with dad, mom, Daisy, Jasper, and Y/n but I was so selfish so arrogant towards them I don't think I can ever truly take back everything I did or said.

I just wish to hold Y/n in my arms tell her I'm sorry for everything all the nights I made her worry every time she had to wait and sit around dreading to get that one call one day knowing that I'm out there voluntarily hurting myself with drugs and other shit meanwhile she can't do anything but wait.

I hate that most importantly I hate myself for letting her go through that not just her everyone mom and dad both don't talk to me anymore and I don't know how I can try to reconnect with them or even try to explain recently everything has gotten worse.

I just use double the amount of meth I used to use before my head is not in a right place and I live in cheap shitty motels, sometimes even in my car but the one thing that hasn't changed is the letter which Y/n wrote to me in the first month once I left everyone behind I stayed with a friend and she knew.

But, she also knew I was too ashamed to talk to her in person so every day she would write me short letters and I still have all of them but I'm practically attached to this one:

Dear Nic,

I know that you still can't face me or anyone else really and I have lots of emotions in me being built up at the moment the more I think about you the more I feel like it's all slowly driving me insane please just come back to us I miss you terribly and I'm sure David and Vicki do too. I have lost sleep recently due to lots of thoughts penetrating my mind thoughts of our peaceful mornings together, the way your mesmerizing green eyes sparkled with joy every morning I've been missing the warmth of your body the bed feels empty and cold now at night I crave for your touch I want to feel your presence again I need to hear your gentle voice and the meaningless conversations we had late at night but I know this time must pass until we can be together once again so until then this is how I will be expressing my feelings for you please take good care of yourself love and return to us when you're ready words can't describe how much I need you and want to be there for you.

Yours Y/n.

Every night before going to bed no matter where I am I read this to myself to remind myself I had people who cared about me and loved me dearly but I fucked it all up with my actions but this night, in particular, was hard all the walls which I had built up over the months came crashing down.

I was curled up in a ball in bed simply holding the piece of paper against my chest and sobbing uncontrollably I just don't know what to do.

**Y/n's POV**
A lot of the time I still think about him I can never really get him out of my head but I just don't get it I tried my hardest to show that I'm there for him and that I love him but I learned you can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped.

I just wish he'd try and get help or at least come to or his parents he knows how much we all love and care for him but then again you never know what's going through a person's mind nowadays I'm used to being without him.

Simply all of us are just practically waiting here meaning this amazing soul is wasting away and I would be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty but as a person, I don't know what more I could do that night I thought about it a lot maybe I should try and go find him.

Maybe he'll come with me somehow this time will be different but I knew those were just mindless thoughts I just hope he comes back to me I tossed and turned all night until I finally managed to fall asleep.
(Hey loves so sorry I haven't been posting but finals are really tough and I barely had any time let me know if you guys want a part two to this and merry Christmas I know I'm late but hope everyone is having a great time I love you all so much and hope you have a great day<3)