CAN LOVE SAVE (A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION JUMP STREET STYLE PART TWO}

CHAPTER 7: CONFLICTED

Tom got up with the babies, rocked them and fed them, then he just sat on bed and watched Sydney sleeping.  He was reliving his conversation with Judy.  He was torn about what he should do.  He didn't want to upset her.  She was happy, and almost glowing all the time.  Her self confidence was better, and he was afraid that if he told her that her father was close by and all this time being this perfect father to another daughter, that Sydney would start feeling like her mom was right, with all the mean and horrible things she used to tell her.  That it was Sydney's fault he left, that Sydney was a bad baby.  Tom was finally seeing his wife happy, and her nightmares gone, stress gone, and he didn't want to bring any of that and the pain from her past back.  Sydney didn't have time to think about the past, she was focused on taking care of the babies.  

Tom laid down and put his arms around Sydney.  She was still asleep but leaned into him. Tom didn't know what to do. He also was finding that he was becoming filled with anger at Sydney's dad.  Tom loved the triplets with everything in him. He was so happy and proud to be their dad. He didn't even know he could love like that. It was making him angry, almost filled with rage, that Michelle's dad could treat her like that, walk out on her, never look back, and leave her with a monster for a mother, who abused her mentally and physically.  Tom knew that he was a big part of the pain that Michelle had felt, and he accepted his part in that, but he still couldn't fathom how a father could do that to his little girl.  Tom was afraid if he did tell Sydney, she might want to meet her father and he didn't know if he could stand by and let her do that, without going and attacking him with his fists. He knew that would just hurt Sydney and he didn't want to do that.

Tom couldn't sleep and was tossing and turning, but trying not to awaken Sydney.  Sydney woke up and saw that Tom was staring at her.  She said "Babe"  He said "hey, I hope I didn't wake you. I can't sleep"  She said "That's fine, is um everything ok"  Tom said "yes everything is fine. I gave the babies a bottle and then got them back to sleep and I checked on them again, they are fine."  Tom kissed Sydney. He said "Go back to sleep, you need your rest"

Next day Sydney got up to nurse the babies and then get Tom's breakfast.  Tom played with the babies.  Sydney said, "I sometimes think I'm just not good at this Tom."  Tom said "At what?"  Sydney said "I feel like I'm behind. I mean I nurse two and bottle one, then no more than get one diaper changed, then the other, then the other, then they need fed again."  Tom said "Sydney you are doing great, you are the best mom, and you do know that you can ask for help. I mean not just me, but Judy would love to spend more time with the babies.  I get how you're feeling because it really is never ending.  I mean with the feedings, diaper changes, baths, laundry, then you start all over."  Sydney said, "I just don't want to fail them, and I feel like I'm failing you, Tom."  Tom said "Don't say that.  You're not.  You're the best wife." Tom hugged her, 

The babies needed fed and changed again.  Tom helped Sydney.  Tom was quiet.  Sydney said "Tom I know you're exhausted. You are so sweet and such a great daddy to get up with the babies but you need sleep."  He said "yeah I am kind of tired, and I have a headache."  Sydney said "Babe go to bed then"  He said "I don't want you to have to "  Sydney said "Tommy I'm fine. Go on to bed ok babe."  She kissed him.  He kissed her and the babies and went and laid down.

Sydney decided that she wanted to fix Tom dinner, and then after dinner, if they could get the babies to sleep, she would be able to pamper Tom and they could make love.  She loved the babies, and wouldn't change their life for anything, but her and Tom didn't get a chance to make love as much as they used to.  She was so tired, and so was Tom, and the babies usually woke up at least once sometimes two times a night. She missed being with Tom all the time like they used to.

Sydney started Tom's dinner, and was going to make his favorite lasagna, home made breadsticks, and cake.  The babies were asleep, so Sydney brought their bassinets into the kitchen with her.  The guys got them ones that rocked back and forth to soothe them.  Sydney kept checking on them.  She put the food in the oven, and sat there and watched the babies.