Soldier Of Pain (Bucky Barns Fanfiction) [COMPLETED STORY]

Chapter 11 - Hide and Seek

A/N: Since I decided to neglect this story for so long, I am posting this second chapter today as an apologies. Also I am procrastinating my homework and therefor decided to write instead. You're welcome. <3

ENJOY READING! =)

Triger Warnings: Just same really sad depressing shit.

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Like usual, the nightmares in my sleep manage to make everything much worse then it already was.

I wake up to the sound of people shouting and screaming and footsteps running up and down the hallway.

The bright morning sun shines though the small gap of the entrance to my hiding cubby.

"Y/n?! Y/n where are you?! Y/n!" I hear all the Avengers repeat over and over again. But I don't move. I don't want them to find me. I just want to be left alone.

But even if I did want to move, I don't think I have enough energy to do so. My body is weak again.

"Where is she?!" I hear Bucky's worried and frustrated voice. "God, what if. . . What if she. . . This is all my fault!" He shouts at himself.

"It's not your fault, Buck," Steve's voice cuts in.

"Yes it is." Bucky remains stubborn as usual. "I made her upset. She ran and hid because of my stupid actions. I shouldn't have pushed her the way I did."

"I'm sure she's fine," Steve tries to reassure him again.

"What if we don't find her?" Bucky concerns.

"We will."

"If you think Natasha is good at hiding, then you haven't seen anything yet. Y/n can hide in plain sight and you'll never notice a thing," Bucky explains.

I laugh internally at the thought. For once he is right, I am currently hiding in plain sight and right in front of their very eyes.

"But we found her before," Steve tries to reason.

"Because she wanted me to find her. She left me clues as to where she was. Clues only I can notice. But I doubt she did that this time. Because I'm the one she is hiding from. Because she doesn't want to be found."

"I'm sure she just needs some time to process everything and cool off and then she'll return."

"I- I just- I love her Steve. I hate to admit it because she probably doesn't feel the same way about me. But I don't care, All I care about is her safety. I just care so much about her and I- I don't like seeing her hurt. I hate it. It's torture to me. Worse then what Hydra did to me for many years. All I can ever think about is if she's safe or not. I hate not knowing where she is—" His voice brakes.

Does he really mean that? Does Bucky really love me? Surely not? Why would he? I'm not a loveable person, I'm a monster and a bad friend. But why would he lie to Steve? Surely he wouldn't? Does that mean it's true? Does he really love me? James loves me. . .

The thoughts rush through my head, overwhelming me more then I already am. I don't know how to feel about all of this.

Tears slowly start to well in my eyes again as I listen to the two men speaking.

"I promise we will never give up and we will find her," Steve comforts Bucky once again.

"I'm just worried. . ."

"I can see that," Steve tries to joke and I can almost feel the anger radiating off of Bucky from here.

"We should stop wasting time and just find her." Bucky's voice is husky and full of frustration.