Soldier Of Pain (Bucky Barns Fanfiction) [COMPLETED STORY]

Chapter 19 - A Successful Mission

A/N: ENJOY READING! =)

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When we arrive home, the first thing I do is make myself something to eat, because I am starving.

"How did the test go?" Romanoff asks me.

I don't answer her, instead I just focus on preparing my food.

"Y/n? Are you alright?" Scott asks me.

"Yes, I'm amazing actually. I finally feel free," I answer him.

"So how did the final test go?" He asks me another question.

"Very well actually. It was definitely better then all the other test, much simpler. Shuri says all my cells are reacting perfectly though," I explain.

"Y/n?" Natasha speaks, but I continue to ignore her.

"Please don't tell me you're still made at me?" She speaks.

"Yes, I am." I finally respond in simple words, still not meeting her eyes.

"We tried to help you Y/n." Steve cuts in.

"I don't care. You both knew I hate secrets."

"Say Mrs. Mysterious Secret Herself," Sam jokes, but he only earned a glare from me in return.

"But that's different. I don't tell you everything about my past because it has nothing to do with you. But this- this is ridiculous. I don't care if you didn't tell me because you didn't want to disappoint me or some other shit like that. I'm not some kid who needs everyone to protect me. I have been taking care of myself for most of my life. Have never needed someone to take care of me and I don't need it now." 

Bucky clears his throat from beside me.

"Well you're the exception," I affirm.

"So what you're says is, Bucky is allowed to take care of you but the rest of us aren't," Natasha speaks.

"But I don't hide things form her. I would have told her the truth," Bucky explains for me. "I am the only person here who has seen, with my own eyes, what Y/n has been though. I was there. So I know she can handle it. A little bit of hope, that might not work out and then disappoint, is nothing compered to the shit we have been through. By now we are used to it. It's a part of our lives."

"But she can't handle it." Wanda cuts in. "Her first day here, she was completely ready to..."

"I was grieving Wanda!" I interrupt her before she can say anything else.

"You had eleven years to grieve," Steve declares.

"I never got a second to grieve," I explain, my eyes welling with tears, but I don't dare let them slip out. "Because Hydra wiped my memory. I didn't even know they exited. I didn't know I even had family. Bucky and I spent months trying to get our memories back. He was Lucky, he remembered everything. The only thing I knew was my first name and ten years of torture, but nothing before that. But when the memory of them finally did come back, the next day Bucky was accused of bombing and killing King T'Chaka."

Everyone stares at me with blank faces.

"This has gotten out of hand." Bucky is the only one to speak. "Doll, I think we should go and get some sleep. You look tired."

Bucky takes me by the hand and leads me over to our room.

By the time we reach our bed, I can no longer hold in my tears and they slip from my eyes.

Bucky embraces me into his arms, soothing and comforting me.

"Are they even my friends? Because they don't act like it," I mutter between my sobs.