Tim Bradford, Lucy Chen: S4 Moments

Moment 10

Tim POV

He often wished that he could be normal. That he could have a relatively happy childhood to look back on. To say that he lived in the now without any apprehension or fear of the past. To have his sister walk up to him and take it as the happy surprise it was intended to be. But he couldn't. It was hard, excepting the fact that he was damaged. The exterior walls he had built around himself were crumbling. He blamed Chen for that. Some of those walls, he knew, needed to come down. But others had been there from the beginning. They were his shield. It took a year, maybe, of his dad smacking him around before he learned how not to cry. Eventually, it came to a point where the walls didn't have to be built up brick by brick, day by day. On the day that he was ready to walk out, he asked his mom to come with him. When she said no, a wall sprung up. This was the one that forced him to realize that people had to live with the consequences of their decisions. He couldn't save them if they didn't want to be. That day though was the first day in ten years that he had struggled to keep the tears back. 

Genny showing up was like a punch to the gut. He knew why she was there. It was the only reason she would bother showing up. He grudgingly respected her for having no grudge toward the man he had called "dad" for the first 8 years of his life. But things had been different for both of them. She crept around the house like a mouse, successful in never drawing attention to her presence. He had tried to follow her example. But he always knew. She was always hidden in the dark corner of her closet as his head was getting smashed into all sorts of solid objects. The countertop, fridge, wall, he was never picky. He was mildly surprised he didn't have brain damage. 

To say he was angry didn't even begin to cover it. She had popped after who knows how many years just to ask a favor. For him. Well, the house. But it was his house. He had sworn he would never go back to that forsaken place. It took every ounce of self-control that he possessed to not do something crazy. Ram the shop into a pole, punch something repeatedly, pull over, and make Genny and Chen walk. Good grief. Chen. The fact that she was trying to make it sound like she understood. Her constant questions about everything. His childhood specifically. She wouldn't get much. Sure he'd done some stuff for those 8 years of his life. His mom stopped taking pictures of him because the bruises were too evident. Everything she did irked him to the enth degree. The moment she brought up her parents and home, he knew he was going to have to pull over. Otherwise, the first option was running the next red light at a busy intersection and hoping it would put him in a coma. 

He was seething. His heart was racing and he felt his body temperature shoot through the roof. He was pretty sure he was about to pass out. He gripped the steering wheel so neither of them would see his hands shaking. It felt like he was fading in and out, barely registering what Genny said, he just needed her to stop. 

"Stop." He paused, trying to squelch the tremor in his voice. "Are you really getting nostalgic over that place? W-what do you want? Some other family to just cuddle up under the broken plaster where dad slammed my head against the wall?"

She had the audacity to fucking justify what happened. He didn't have demons he was a demon. And just because there was a possibility that his dad could not physically cause him pain, the memories could. That entire house was a bomb. Stepping inside would only trigger twenty years' worth of bottled emotions and release the nightmares. So no. No would always be the answer. Never in a million years would he go back.

Chen POV

She had never really taken the situation as seriously as Tim had. All she was interested in was hearing his embarrassing childhood stories. Slowly but surely she found herself in something much deeper, personal, sensitive.  Her mistake, though she wasn't quite sure what it was, brought up something painful and raw. She flinched when Tim laid out the plain and simple facts. He made it very clear to her that this was a situation she needed to keep her mouth out of. She knew, by the tight grip of his hands, the tremor in his voice, and the rush of his words, that if she was ever going to listen to him, now would be the time. 

Lucy Chen was a meddler though. She wouldn't admit it but she couldn't help it. 

"Your sister needs you," she blurts out, "it's clear you got the worst of it, with your father, but, she lived through it with you. Instead of arguing about how bad your dad was, or wasn't, maybe as children of abuse," she saw his eyes close and knew she had to wrap it up, "you'd be better off, you know, supporting each other."

Tim glanced over her shoulder. She followed her gaze to Genny and quickly made herself absent. 

She wasn't quite sure what happened after that. But it filled her heart when she got a text from Genny later:

Wanna come to my dad's with Tim and Nolan this weekend? I would appreciate the girl power :)

Tim POV:

He wasn't quite sure why he ended up making the decision he did. He knew, that even Chen knew that convincing him to change his mind in this situation was impossible. At least it had been. He finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't because his feelings about his dad had changed. But because his perspective shifted. This wasn't about walking into a bomb. This was about diffusing it with his sister. 

In a way, she was coping. It was rather out of character. He had always been the one to face things head-on. She had always preferred to avoid confrontation. The roles were reversed. But he found it easier, somewhat, when he thought of it as helping her. He guessed he could thank Chen for that. In his head. Genny had always been the one to bandage him up and cover up the bruises on his face and arms. She had always been there for him. The silent witness to the pain. And he had chosen to take many of those hits for her. 

He hated that house. He hated the memories in it. He wanted to just burn it to the ground. But that wouldn't solve the recurring nightmare he had about the things that had happened in it. 

It's just a house like any other. There is nothing special about it. There is nothing different about it. You're just going to help your sister. Just like you did when you were younger and helped her load up her car for college. You're just going to help. Her. 

A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you! For being so patient with me! This one was honestly difficult and I apologize for the lack of #Chenford. Because Tim's emotions were so strong in this episode, I personally found it hard to draw anything else from it. But hey, we got Tim Bradford Backstory! I am 83% sure that things will have mellowed out at least enough by the next episode. It also looks like Tim will be seeing his dad... so who knows?