The Girl Aria (A Stray Kids Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

(Warning: self-harm. Please don't read if you get triggered by this. Personally, for me, it helps me cope to write it out then to physically do it to myself. Please don't take any offense. Thank you.)

And so I repeated my school-morning routine the very next day. I was just as nervous as I had been the day before, but this time with a tint of sadness you could say. I knew that no one would really be there for me, so that left me to fend for myself. I finished brushing my hair, and with one final tug of the brush, I set it down, grabbed my bag, and headed down the stairs. I planned on skipping breakfast that day for no particular reason. Maybe it was because I had been used to it when I had lived with mother. I was about to turn the corner to the kitchen, when I stopped dead in my tracks when I got a sliver of someones conversation.

"What do you think?" Chan asked, my ears straining to hear the hushed tones.

"It's a possibility." Seungmin replied, and I could somehow feel Felix's presence beside him.

"I think it would be best for Aria. We all do." Felix added, and I could almost see his hand and facial expressions. My full attention was on them now, and nothing could have drawn me away at this point.

"We just need to be careful of STAYS. I know some of them will misread the situation and things could get complicated." Chan said in a quiet voice. STAYS? I thought to myself. What are STAYS? I was immensely confused. Was it a term in Korean I didn't recognize? Some secret code they had invented together, or was I just down-right missing something? The latter seemed the most reasonable. Suddenly, the thought hit me. What if they are trying to get rid of me. The thought scared the complete crap out of me. There was no way I was going to an orphanage where I would surely be an outcast amongst the others.

"No." I whispered to myself, half of my face now peeping out from the corner of the wall. At any point they could recognize me, but I didn't care. Something inside me at that point broke, and I felt a wetness reach my eyes, causing my vision to become blurry. I stepped out from my hiding spot, revealing my obviously distraught figure. That's when I saw Lee Know there with them too. We locked eyes for a brief moment, and I saw all the regret written on his face. I thought I had been growing closer to him. I thought I could trust him. I thought I could maybe, just maybe reveal my true self to him, to the others.

I thought.

I thought.

I thought.

But no. Now I will never trust any of them again. I can't bring myself to. Maybe in time I wouldn't hate them.

"It's not what you think." Chan said softly, trying to reassure me. I shook my head, eyes becoming more glassy.

"That's what they all say." I shot back, voice cracking.

"Just list-" Lee Know started, but I angrily cut him off.

"No!" I shouted, my gaze practically piercing through him. "You guys don't know what it's like to have your own mother say that she never loved you and then have her kick you out of your own household. You don't know what it's like to be kicked to the side of the curb and have to fend for yourself alone!!! And then, just when I found people I thought I could trust, they also turned their back on me and left me behind too!!!!!" I was choking and stumbling over my own words, to caught up in what I was saying to even notice.

"Aria, please just hear us out!" Felix pleaded, looking just as worried as the other three.

"No! Whatever you say I won't believe it! You broke what I thought I could trust!" I screamed the last part at them, seeing the others come out of their rooms and peeking down at what was going on. I could see the same expression in all their faces. Guilt. I refused to believe anything they tried to tell me. "If you want to get rid of me then fine, get rid of me!" I said, tightening my grip on the strap of my bag and running towards the door where the car to take me to school was waiting. I slammed the door behind me, threw myself into the back passenger seat, and the driver started to pull down the road without a word. I watched in the side mirror as they all stood outside the front door, staring as the car drove out of their sight.