The Girl Aria (A Stray Kids Fanfiction)

Chapter 18

Since I wasn't allowed to be alone anymore for the time being, Lee Know and Chan moved into my room since they were the two eldest. It was rather uncomfortable, sleeping in the same room with them when I knew that they were watching me every second, making sure I didn't harm myself anymore. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was one of the most caring things they could have done. If they had not cared, they would have left me to my own devices. I think deep down I was thankful for someone to rely on. Although there was still a false sense of security lying in the depths of my fractured and splintered soul.

When I arose that morning, the pillow warm on my soft cheek, I felt emotionally drained, my eyes still dry and puffy-ish. It was a new day which meant that I would get a fresh start, and hopefully a decent one. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, I checked the time out of habit

7:00 A.M.

It was earlier than I usually woke up, but my nerves interfered with the sleep schedule. There was excitement in my veins; I could feel it boiling and simmering, waiting to be released into the thing I loved to do most. You could say singing was my passion and you wouldn't be wrong. If there was one thing that made me want to keep living in this unfair, harsh world, it was the gift of music; something that always kept me going; something that lay deep within the crevices of me. Today was the time I would finally be able to present to them the talent I really possessed, and that's what scared me...

* * *

The recording study was quiet and oddly intimidating. I sat with legs crossed tightly, nervously picking at the back of my hand. When Lee Know shot me a glance, I instantly stopped, presuming to bite my inner cheek instead. My heel swung left to right in a fast pace as the hushed conversation and planning played out between Chan and what I presumed to be the manager. There were soft whispers and exclamations exchanged which made my heart skip a couple of beats. Everything's fine. I told myself. The song I had chosen to preform was the exact same one which I had sung countless times when mother was absent, giving free time to myself. Oh those bittersweet days that had caused me so much pain. It was a remorseful thought to look back on.

After a few more returned words, the manager faced me, clapping his hands once together as if saying "let's get started". I tried to muster a confident smile, but it just didn't seem to reach my eyes.

"Okay, so as you know, we'll be setting up the sound system, and then we can started on the recording session." I swallowed nervously, creating one of those annoying lumps you get in your throat. Nodding obediently like a small child, I followed behind the man as he led me to where I would be sitting. I placed myself stiffly on the stool. Everything felt so off. I had never intentionally "preformed" in front of anyone before, so who knew what I would do under the extreme pressure to succeed well. I would find out in the mere moments that awaited me.

* * *

"On the count of three, we'll begin the music. Ready?" Truth be told, I was the farthest thing from "ready". I couldn't have been more unprepared.

"One."

I focused my mind...

"Two."

I closed my eyes, letting darkness overtake me...

"Three."

Inhaling deeply, I focused on the notes that began to play...

The tune was so familiar. Like, how do they phrase it.."like the back of my hand". Yeah, that was it. It was so familiar like the back of my hand. My heart was racing as each note brought me closer to when I would reveal who I was, what I wanted to do, where my talents lay. With shaky hands, I held the microphone in front of me like it was some foreign object that could give me a fatal disease. I swallowed for the last time, licking my lips and adjusting my headphones quickly, and sang the first note.