The Girl Aria (A Stray Kids Fanfiction)

Chapter 17

There it was; that annoying ringing you get in your ears more often than you would like. My entire body felt numb and cold, shivering when I took notice. It was strange. There was this feeling of totally peace yet complete chaos all at the same time. Their presence could be felt. The eight boys were gathered around me, and I could feel their eyes on me as I lay their. I gathered up my last bit of courage and lifted my weary lids.

Some of them were standing up, while others waited anxiously on the carpet. There were worried exchanges thrown here and there, and they had no reason not to be. This was all because of me, and no one else. I brought myself up into sitting position, my hands stiffly lying down in my lap. Jeongin came over and silently handed me a cup of warm milk. As soon as realized what it was, tears welled up in my eyes. After all the crap they had to deal with from me, they still cared. They still remembered. What hurt more was that they still wanted to get rid of me, so in my mind, this action was just merely a peace offering.

"Why?" Felix asked simply, arms crossed but his expression gentle. I shrugged my shoulders like I had no idea. I don't think I could ever bring myself to tell them my personal thoughts.

"No, you need to tell us Aria." Chan stated firmly but in a caring tone. I shook my head vigorously, tears pooling at the corners of my eyes.

"We just want to help you." Felix said, taking a tiny step forward, as if he was testing the waters between me and him. At any moment I could lose it, like a dam bursting and letting her waters destroy the area around her.

"Why would you want to help me if you were going to get rid of me?" I asked, voice cracking.

"We aren't going to get rid of you." Lee Know said, sighing.

"You're lying." I snapped at him, feeling my composure crack.

"Just listen for a second." Chan commanded. I glared at him while listening. He continued. "You didn't hear the whole conversation, just part of it." He paused, I raised my eyebrows.

"And?" I retorted, keeping eye contact.

"What we really wanted to do was see if we could get our manager to help you show your singing talent to the public with us." I was confused, dumbfounded really. What kind of bullcrap was this?

"Yeah, sure." I said, laughing in a bitter and snarky tone.

"It's true." They all said in unison which made me re-think my abrasively-toned words.

"Why?" I asked, voice unusually quiet.

"I knew from the day I first saw you that there was something special about you." Chan said.

"The last thing I am is special. Don't waste your time on me, really." But there was something deep down inside of me that was screaming yes, take this opportunity! My mother's words were also present in my twisted thoughts.

"Don't say that. Trust us just this once. Please." Felix begged, trying to convince my distraught mind. I had told myself I would never trust them again. Was I going to break my own promise to myself again? Did I have the strength to let myself lean and rely on them? It would be a leap of faith; a big one. It was either stay with them or leave. My destiny lied in the balance. This choice would be the one to determine my fate, I was sure of it.

"So?" Changbin asked timidly, gaining my attention. I knew time was ticking, and they were all waiting for my final decision.

"Okay." I said softly, giving a section of my hair a quick tug out of nervousness. A huge smile spread across all their faces, and deep down, this voice told me I had made the right decision.

* * *

That night after dinner, Chan had all the boys gather in the living room to just have some time together to sort certain subjects out. Not that they didn't have enough of that already. I was instructed to rest up in my room, but I instead placed myself were I would be within earshot but hidden from their sight. My insides were jittery and I half expected what he was going to tell them. Probably something related to the subject of my mental health.

"Due to certain situations," I tried to keep up with his speedy Korean, and I struggled a bit, missing a few words. "I think it's best that we have at least one person watching Aria. Thoughts?"

Crap

Not only would I have to live with a bunch of rambunctious people, I would also have to have the with me every second of the day, with no time to breathe on my own. That made my mind wander to the subject of school. Would they accompany me there too. If so, I would have to face the annoying, shocked stares of all the kids who knew I was "adopted" by the kpop group Stray Kids. What would my image be like then?

Crap crap crap

I was beyond frustrated and overwhelmed. If only I hadn't of made that stupid decision my life wouldn't of been like this! On that thought, if I hadn't of been born at all I could have stopped a lot of problems! Don't think like that Aria! I scolded myself, ready to just give up completely. But I still needed to fight. I could have a winning chance in this sickening battle if I could just push myself through and survive. And that's what I planned to do.

* * *

That same night, the official Adoption papers came in, signaling that these eight boys were now officially my guardians. It was news that made me feel unsettled. After all, I still had my birth-mother out there so it felt weird to replace her even though she had never even loved me as her own. And who knew if my father was still alive. The drunk state I had seen him in so many times could have easily been the death of him. He could've gotten in a life-taking car accident or worse...suicide. I refused to think that. Surely, somewhere in that confused mind of his he could see light, a hope. And that's what I wished for him. My mother was a different story. I think deep down I wished the best for her, but my calloused shell and bitter outward emotions made me think different. It would take ages before the deep wounds she had caused would begin to finally heal over.

Since it would be a Saturday tomorrow, Chan scheduled a music session with me and the others so we could "dig deeper into the talent I possessed." If it were I, I would have never stated my "talents" that way. I was starting to have second thoughts on this whole singing and being a part of their music idea. It was intimidating. What would others think of me? What if my mother found out and came back to claim me just to treat me harshly again? The chills ran quick through my spine, and my breathing became shallow. This would all be determined by what would happen tomorrow morning.....