Chapter 2

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Mom got home around 3:00 am. I always waited for her since i didn't have anything better to do. She came home smelling strongly of cigarette smoke. She must have been out with friends this time. She tossed her purse to the floor and flung off her shoes, staggering as she did so. Making her way to the couch, my mom sighed when she collapsed onto the couch, rubbing her forehead with her eyes closed.

"Aria, go get me some water." She ordered me. I silently slipped off of my bed and went to the cabinet. I grabbed a glass cup and filled it with water from the sink. I wiped off the excess water that had spilled over the edge, and then handed it to my mother. She drank it swiftly, then handed it back to me again. "Another" she told me. I nodded silently, bringing her yet another full glass. The same process repeated a few more times, and I tried my best to hold in my aggravation. Finally she finished, and I sat back down on my bed. As soon as I did though, my mother instantly snapped at me. "I didn't say you could lay down yet." I gritted my teeth and stood up stiffly, my fists clenched. She told me to do other multiple things, and I forced myself to listen to her. If I didn't, her anger would only become worse.

Hours passed, and before I knew it, the sun had already begun to rise. I looked at the clock on the wall.

7:30

My eyes felt heavy, and I rubbed them vigorously. Mother was still passed out in bed, softly snoring, the sheets tangled around her. I was so tired that I had to sit down on the windowsill. I scolded myself when I began to drift off. No! You can't drift off Aria! I pinched myself so I could stay awake. Although, my desire to sleep became stronger, and soon I gave in, telling myself that I would only rest my eyes for a few minutes. I drifted off, forgetting about the consequences it could bring............

My head snapped back, the back of my head hitting the wall behind me. I instinctively lifted up my hands to cover myself from the next slap. I quickly cleared my vision, and sure enough, mother was standing over me, her face scrunched in deep annoyance. I glanced quickly at the wall clock.

1:00 PM

Shoot! I had slept to long. There was no way I could get out of this. Mom grabbed my hand and dragged me to my feet. She shoved me hard, and I fell backwards to the ground. I stumbled and fell flat on my back. Pain shot through the middle part of my back and all the way to my ankle. I hauled myself to my knees and crouched in front of her, head bowed and eyes pointed towards the ground.

"You little......" She didn't finish, but instead slapped my on the top of my head. I flinched and tensed up, my eyes squeezed closed. I stayed silent, too afraid to say anything for I might enrage her more. She grabbed my hair again, twisting it in her fist. "If I ever see you doing that again......" She didn't finish again. Walking out the door again, she left me behind in the dorm, leaving only a tense silence to follow. Her last words rang in my head.

"If I ever see you doing that again......" It sent a chill down my spine. What would she do to me? Something worse than what she was already doing? No, surely not. She couldn't do something worse to her own daughter could she? Well, maybe she could, she didn't care about me. She has never cared about me. I mean nothing to her. I mean nothing to myself. I dragged my hands through my hair, tugging hard on it again. Get yourself together Aria! You can't let down your game anymore! Once again I brought myself to the windowsill just like every other day, and I began to sing once more. The song I was singing I had heard before from the city streets below. It was in Korean and partially in English. I didn't understand it well, and I wish I could. I have a weird talent you could say. I can't speak any other language when I just talk, but when I sing, well, that's a whole different story. You see, for some strange reason, I can sing in different languages without any problem. The tune and beat to the music help me, and I am able to pronounce the words. A lot of people would say that's not true, and I don't blame them for not believing me. It's hard to explain, but if you were me, you would know what I mean. I guess I am just different like that. The window was partially open, but I liked how my voice carried through the city. It made it sound really peaceful. There were not a lot of people around, so I didn't mind if they heard me. I closed my eyes and felt myself get lost in the song. I felt free, and it calmed me from my worries.

After a few hours, it started snowing again, and a cold blast of wind came through the open window. I shivered and hugged myself tightly. I quickly shut the window and jumped off the seating area to grab my sweater. I wrapped it tightly around my, keeping my hands placed underneath my arms to keep them warm. I sat back down in my spot and repeated the same song after already singing it for quite a few times. When I finished, I sighed and leaned my head against the cold windowpane.

"So you sing now to?" A harsh voice said to me, giving a cold laugh that mocked me. My head snapped around and mother stood in the door, leaning against its frame.

"Mother I......" I was speechless. When did she get here? How long had she been listening to me?

"So I have to deal with this now don't I?" She said while walking over and pouring herself a glass of water. I looked down at my feet, too embarrassed to look at anything even close to her. "Well, if you love doing it so much, why don't you go and become a singer?" She said sarcastically. I felt me cheeks flush, and I played with my hands nervously.

"Well, maybe that's what I want to do." I was stunned at my own words. I quickly placed my hand over my mouth out of shock of what I had just said. My mom laughed angrily again, walking over towards me and getting uncomfortably close.

"Look at you. You have big dreams don't you? Well guess what, you will get nowhere with that hideous voice of yours. Your no good for anyone. Give up already before you become heartbroken." She sneered at me. My head shot up to meet her eyes. I glared at her.

"It's my choice not yours," I snapped back, "At least I can try to accomplish it. What have you ever done right? What dreams have you ever had?" I quickly stepped on my foot to keep myself from saying anymore. She raised her hand and slapped me again. I felt her nails leave a scratch across my cheek. I refused to take notice of it. Mom continued.

"Well, if you're that determined, why don't you leave and start pursuing your pathetic dreams?" Mother lifted up her chin, her arms tightly folded across her chest.

"Maybe I will." I challenged.

"Then go." She said, pointing to the door. I looked at her with a little surprise. There was no way she was going to let me go. "I SAID GO ARIA!" She screamed at me. I flinched and took a step back. She was serious.

"Do you even love me?" I said softly, me head bent low. She paused for a moment and looked at me in disgust.

"No." Mom said simply. Those words were the most hurtful thing I had ever heard from my mother. Every other nasty thing she had said could not even compare to what she had just told me. "I never have." It made it hurt so much more. I felt my eyes sting and I looked at her. "I never wanted you in the first place. You can get out of my life for all I care." The tears left, and suddenly I didn't feel anything anymore.

"I see how it is them." I uttered, taking a quick glace out the window.

"Now leave, so I don't have to ever see you again." She grabbed me by the back of my sweater and threw me out of the dorm. She slammed the door and I heard it lock firmly. I knew that it would never open to me again.

I was on my own from now on.................

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