The Girl Aria (A Stray Kids Fanfiction)

Chapter 7

My ears were ringing slightly, and I could feel a migraine starting to form. I had a hard time trying to wrap my mind around my swirling thoughts. When I tried to open my eyes, the lighting around me sent a sharp stab through my mind, worsening the headache. So I let my eyelids fall down, surrounding me in darkness once again.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep. I woke up......well, I can't remember when. My fingers felt the soft fabric of blankets, and my eyes shot open at the touch. Where am I? How did I get here? I repeated these two questions to myself over and over again, but no matter how I looked at or examined it, I came back with a blank mind. Slowly, I propped myself up on my elbows, my head spinning from even that slight movement. Taking in the surroundings, I tried to explain to myself where I could be. The room was cold and unwelcoming, like that of a hospital. At that thought, it hit me that I was at a hospital. Every little detail came rushing to my senses. Like the IV that was in my arm, the rhythmic beeping coming from the machine beside me, and even to the sickly smell of disinfectant cleaner and medicine. The odor almost wanted to make me gag or even vomit. The glaring, florescent lights were blinding, and it sent waves of pain shooting through my head. I rubbed my eyes, trying to relieve myself of the discomfort. Laying back down, I stared up at the ceiling, wondering how I had got even this far. In a way, I missed my mom. I missed the feeling of having the woman that birthed me around, but I didn't miss her attitude toward me. Right now, the thing I wanted most was a mother's love.

I had no more tears left. I shed not a single one from then on. Sadness still flowed strongly through me, but without the burden of crying. It's better this way. I told myself. If this path was taken, I wouldn't become weak, but only stronger. Crying would only worsen the situation. Or at least that's what I told myself, whether it was true or not.........

* * *

The hospital nurse provided food for me, and tended to my needs when necessary. She even tried to help me use that bathroom, but I declined quickly, determined to do at least something on my own. It had only been a little over a day, but my body started to become restless, despite the harsh conditions it had endured over the last several months. Outside, at least I had been free, now I was stuck in a 120 to 140 square foot room. The question was, when I became well enough to get discharged, where would I go? Back to the parking garage? To an orphanage? Or worse, to my mother? The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine, and the tips of my ears tingling. Oh, how repulsive that utter thought was. I would rather die than go back to her.

That evening, I sat upright on the hospital bed, my knees tucked closely to my body even though I was far from being cold. Right now it just made me feel secure, like someone was holding me, but in reality, they were not. I wondered who had brought me here when I went unconscious. The idea had never really occurred to me before. I had been wrapped up in my mind and emotions, I had never considered who it might have been. Now I was there, befuddled and contemplating the possibilities. It could have literally been anyone, but I had not but the littlest idea. I hummed softly, my eyes trained on the dimming world outside. The clouds were pink and soft up high in the sky, the orange, red, and yellow horizon slowly becoming darker and darker by each passing second that awaited me. Then my voice started to open up once more. Not loudly, but enough that you could understand the words that were coming from my mouth. The sweet, melodic sound was a comfort thing for me. Just like anyone else who has an object or activity to comfort them. Although, mine happened to be the wonderful gift of music. Becoming braver, I got a little louder, my body relaxing slightly as i focused on the pronunciation and melody. I had the familiar feeling of peace come over me once more, like a warm blanket wrapping around and guarding me from external and internal dangers. By the end of the song, I had no worries, and I savored that feeling for as long as I could hold onto it.

"That was beautiful." I jumped and immediately stiffened, my heart leaping into my throat, my eyes wide. My head snapped to the side. I expected to see the nurse. Well, I did, but there was another with her. He was male, and obviously taller than the nurse. His blonde hair fell into his dark brown eyes partially. The outfit he wore wasn't anything unusual; just jeans and a black hoodie. I had never seen him before, and his appearance didn't even ring a bell. My head was cocked slightly to the side as I quickly studied him. My sense of peace was quickly replaced with an overwhelming feeling of vehement fear and caution. The nurse looked at me concerned, then at the man, then back at me once more.

"This is her." Her Korean accent was very noticeable, but the hospital required for staff to speak at least minimal English. I didn't like how the nurse referred to me as her. It bothered me. It felt like she thought I was some freak who shouldn't be allowed to have a name. The young man nodded and smiled a bit, his eyes glinting as he did so. For some reason, I felt anger towards him, but yet I did not know why. He walked to the edge of my bent, squatting until he was eye level with me. I scooted away briskly, and turned my visual attention to something, anything other than him.

"You sing well. I see potential." He had an Australian accent which was surprising. Although, I gritted my teeth at the compliment. A few months ago, I would have been flattered if anyone would have told me such a thing. But now I almost felt ashamed.

"You will get nowhere with that hideous voice of yours."

My mother's words came running back to me again. I clenched my fist and fought off those thoughts. My gaze continued to look away from the man. I knew that was being rude, but I really did not care at this point. I couldn't tell if he was put off by my attitude or not. "My name is Bang Chan, but you can just call me Chan." I refused to respond. "You'll be spending time with me and the others until we find a place for you." I cringed slightly. There were more of them? I could barely put up with him, how could I handle who knows how many more. I tried to imagine myself in that situation, but it filled me with great fear of the unknown. When the nurse tried to help me up to get ready to leave, I pushed her away, as if I was almost scared of her. She tried reasoning with me, but every time she tried to force me to leave, I shoved her far away, refusing to leave. Grabbing me harshly in a position that limited the flailing of my arms, the nurse got me to my feet more roughly than I expected, then started to take me to the door to exit the building. I started to breathe heavily at her rough touch. It reminded me too vividly of my mother, and that's when I started to cry out, and in an act of desperation, I ripped my hands violently from the nurse's, and ran to the farthest place away from her. I'm sure that I would have seemed like a psycho at that moment, but my feelings had gotten the better of me. I heard her whisper something lightly to Chan in Korean, and he nodded, a hint of sadness just barely noticeable in his expression.

The nurse approached me again, and I quickly shielded my arms around my head, as if I was expecting her to slap me as my mother had done. Instead, I felt a quick prick of something going into my skin in my upper arm. By the way it felt, I could tell it was a syringe. What was in it was beyond my knowledge. Almost immediately afterwards, I began to lose consciousness, my body going limp. My eyes closed slightly, and that's when my world returned to darkness once again, making me feel just as useless.