You had an appointment at ten weeks. It felt easier than the last one, at least. JJ gripped your hand. "Are you okay, honey? How are you doing?"
"Uh..." you sighed. "I'm trying, I'm really trying to be okay right now, Jayje. I'm really glad— thank you for being here,"
"Hey, hey. Of course, love. I'm always yours. I'm always here for you."
Again, you left crying, with JJ rubbing your back on the way to the car. You collapsed into the passenger seat. You put your elbow on the side of the door, your head in your hand, and sobbed. JJ simply stared at you for a moment before somewhat clumsily taking your free hand. She decided against trying to get you to stop crying, to calm you down; she knew full well you needed this catharsis.
"God...JJ, I'm sorry. Y—we can go,"
"Yeah?" You nodded and sniffled. "Okay." She started the car and sighed as she pulled out of the parking space. "Love, I know you're not doing so well right now, but we've got to go to work. Are you gonna be okay?"
"Probably not. But I'm gonna try to take my mind off all this, and we really do need to get back to work." You really didn't want to, but you couldn't afford to miss more work.
"Are you glad you told Hotch that you're pregnant?" she asked. You sniffled and nodded as you stared out to window.
"Yeah. It's so weird, though, 'cause only you, Hotch, and Em know,"
"Garcia can't keep a secret for the life of her, so..." JJ laughed. You nodded and grinned, knowing it to be true. "And nobody needs to know. It's none of their business, love. You do what you feel good about. I think it's good that you told him. Are you hungry?"
"Uh, sure, I guess,"
"What do you want? Your pick,"
"Panera, how 'bout?" you suggested.
"Okay, baby. Let's go, and we can eat on the way to work, okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine. I need to eat and sit with you for a little while. Then I'll be able to get through the day," you said. JJ kissed the back of your hand and kept driving.
You and JJ sat in the car eating quietly. You finished before her and waited, your anxiety building and building. JJ was almost done with her sandwich when she saw your distress. "Baby, what's wrong?"
"Everything's so much. That doesn't make sense," you realized. "It feels like everything I'm feeling is...is more pronounced, more intense than usual. I'm...I'm so worried,"
"Tell me what you're worried about, love," said your girlfriend through a mouthful of sandwich. "Let's work it out,"
"I'm so scared, Jay; I want to give my baby a good life," you sighed, "but I have no idea what the situation is with Levi legally, and he doesn't even know that I'm pregnant! And I don't want to put this all on you, honey, 'cause it's really not your problem. You don't have to take it upon yourself to...to do all this." You started to cry. "I love you so much, and I have no idea how to thank for for any of what you've ever done for me. Especially in the past month."
JJ took your hand. She had finished her sandwich by the time you finished talking. "My love...you are going to be an amazing mom." The use of the word 'mom' changed something for you. You covered your mouth and let out a sob.
"I'm okay," you croaked in response to JJ seeming more worried for you afterwards.
"You're gonna be a great mom, honey. I know how you are with my son; I can see that you love him, and I know he loves you too. You're going to give that baby a good little life, and you're never gonna have to do it alone. I'm here, Emily's here, and God knows you have a whole team of people who care about you."
You tried to breathe slower. JJ's thumb caressed the back of your hand.
Your girlfriend went on, "As for Levi, I don't know what's gonna happen; what I do know is that you will not be by yourself whenever you have to fight. I would move the Earth an inch over if it made you any happier. Do not doubt for a second that you have a whole battalion behind you, love. And you'll always have me right by your side, hmm?"
She stroked your hair and wiped away your tears with her thumb. You reached up and held her wrist as her hand remained on your face. "Thank you, Jen. I don't know how you always manage to calm me down,"
"I try my best," she said, chuckling. You grinned and scoffed, unable to laugh any more than that. "You always make me feel so loved and appreciated, and I just want you to feel the same. Ready to go in now, love?"
You acted happy, or at least stable, around your colleagues. In reality, everything hurt you. You want to spend your time in your girlfriend's arms, but everything made your mind plummet back to Levi. The day was a million hours long.
Just at the end of the day, JJ sped to Hotch's office with a case file. "That's never good," said Morgan.
"Nope," Emily groaned. "Buckle up, everybody."
JJ held your hand on the flight to your apparently urgent case. You all looked over it on the flight, and she caressed the back of your hand with her thumb. The sun was setting, the orange light illuminating JJ's face. You whispered to her, "You look stunning in this light." You made sure no one else would be able to hear you. She blushed, a smile covering her face, and looked down at your joined hands.
YOU ARE READING
Show Me the Stars - Jennifer Jareau x Reader
Fiksi Penggemar(in which the reader is Emily Prentiss' younger sister) You and Levi have been together for three years. You can't leave him. You're terrified of Levi. You've never even told your sister how bad it was. You two told each other everything. But she di...
