Walks alone

Chapter 6

Today, Evelyn walked through her life on auto pilot. She had no emotions, no more thoughts. In other words Evelyn was numb. Numb to the pain, numb to the school, numb to him and numb to the world.
     On the drive home from school she just stared out the window. To her watching the scenery was a calming upset. Especially when it was raining, just watching the rain drop-lets run down the window. Almost like watching them race against each other just like she used to do as a kid. Those days were the best to get out her feelings because the rain on the window looks very similar to the tears running down her cheeks. Them racing to the bottom of her chin.
     When she got to her stop she said her usual thing to her bus driver and slowly made her way up the driveway. Music calmly overwhelming her emotions. Eyes focused on the ground she is walking upon. With every step she toke her heart fell farther and father into her chest. With every crunch of the snow she felt her eyes filling with tears. 
     Just as she was shutting her front door her phone buzzed with a text.
A text from him. It read
"Hey"
      Her heart grow a thousand times more heavier. She did not know whether to respond fast or take her time to answer. She decided against taking her time not only because she could not fight the need to reply. But simply because she was hoping he was texting her to tell her, he made a mistake and that he loved her and wants to get back together.
     So she typed...
"Hey"
    Then she waited. As she waited she went up to her room she practically ran there. Because her room was her place to set her feelings free. Where she could let everything shes been holding in, out.
     She quickly turned on her tv and connected her phone to play her sad music. Evelyn was dying to let her emotions take control of her again and to let the feelings free.
    And that's exactly what she did.
    For hours she sat in her room crying, crying for him and her broken heart.
    Hours past while she lay there crying in her bed full of his memories.
   Her bed full of the tears and pain he has just brought upon her. A bed full of the passion, desire, pain, love, lust and most of all a bed full of her world being torn into pieces.
   Her world had just been pride away from her. She had no control of it when she should have because it was her world. He was her world, her everything. No he was not any of that anymore. And Evelyn has to live with that fact now. ⚠️tw⚠️ not graphic, talks about self harm.

    Typically when Evelyn gets like this she ends up cutting but this time was different because all she did was cry.
    When she finally stopped crying she just sighed and screamed her heart out to good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo. Evelyn let all the built up anger and some more of the pain out through this song. It felt amazing to get it out. It felt like a calm wave flowing out of her heart.
After a few more songs she turned her music off and dimmed her red lights. Got dressed in a sweater and some shorts. Then she went to layed back down and slowly drift off to sleep.
Evelyn woke up around 2:30am. When she woke up she felt like her bed was flipped in her sleep. It also felt as though she was not facing the wall anymore. That feeling made her panic. She started panicking even more because she is scared of the dark. This feeling of her reality being altered did not sit well with her.
Evelyn started reaching for the wall and when she did not touch it she switched sides and reached again. When her fingers touched the wall she started to calm down again. Next she reached for her bed frame. When she found that, she started the search for her phone in the dark.
When she found it, she looked at her wifi and noticed the wifi was out. Which meant the power was out as well. She reached for her closet light switch and flipped it up. Nothing happened.
"Great" Evelyn said to herself sarcastically
Evelyn grabbed her phone again and turned her flashlight on. She moved her legs of her bed and stood up slowly as to not make her head spin. Then she started walking out of her room and towards the stairs.
On her way back to her room she did not walk. She fucking ran! Evelyn thought she heard a nose behind her when in reality it was just the dog. She did not know that so she believed it was someone chasing her. So she bolted up the stairs and to her room.
As soon as Evelyn got into her room she shut the door and locked it. Then she leaped onto her bed and got under the covers to fall back asleep.