Abused and Unloved

It's Real, Right?

I didn't know how to feel right now. He was kissing me. Asher damn Kavanaugh was kissing me. Wait a minute, hold up! He feels the same way that I feel? I pulled apart from the kiss and looked away feeling that he was just desperate and sad. "What's wrong?" he asked. I'm not one to bite my tongue in situations like this. "I just never thought you had any feelings for me. I mean, look at me. Why would you anyways?" I whispered, hoping he didn't hear the last few words. He did. "Shut the hell up Vaeh. You sound so ridiculous right now. I don't know what happened to you before, and I want to know when you're ready to tell me. Don't ever say that you're not pretty, because well, you're not. You're beautiful in my eyes. Ever since you came here I thought you were beautiful. I just couldn't take my eyes off of you. You made me smile and laugh when I thought I could never experience that type of love again." he said making my eyes water and my heart melt.

Did he just say love? Nah, I'm just hearing stuff. "Asher, you don't have to say that." I was speechless. I didn't know what to say after that little confession he just made. "Yes, I do. I will keep saying it to you until you believe it yourself. You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful, you ar-" "Okay, I think I get it now." I said laughing.

"Damn I love your smile and you're laugh" he said flashing me one of his best smiles that make his dimples pop out. I don't know if I can handle all of this. I gotta get away. I need space and time to think. "Uhh, I gotta go to the bathroom." I said then scurried away.

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My head is spinning, my legs are shaking, my body is moving. The music was blasting and I was dancing away with Jessie and Katie. Yes, it's 12:40am and we are still at the party. All around all you could see was drunk teens dancing, making out, or passed out on the ground. It was actually funny seeing people with drool coming out of their mouths and snores blasting wildly. They must be really hungover to be still knocked out with this loud and banging music!

Once I stopped dancing and escaped away from the girls, I thought about everything that happened between me and Asher. I would have never guessed that he felt the same way for me. I know Katie always asked what was up with us, but I never thought he even saw me in that way. That he might see me as a sister. I feel as though I'm wanting to give me and Asher a try. So what if things went wrong? I want to do this. I think I love him.

I walked back inside and told the girls that I was looking for Asher and that they could leave whenever. As I was looking for him, I saw a guy that kinda looked like him, but it couldn't be because that guy had a blonde girl pinned to the wall and they were making out. That can't be him, right? I'm seeing things again. It was until the guy looked my way that I knew exactly that it was him. Those eyes. I can see those eyes from a mile away. My heart felt like it dropped and shattered in front of my face. I had to leave. I ran out of there as Asher called out for me. He grabbed hold of my arm "Vaeh, it's not what it looks like! We were just-" "JUST WHAT HUH? JUST MAKING OUT AFTER YOU JUST KISSED ME? You know what? I don't even care. We aren't dating, never were and I don't care. You mean nothing to me." I yelled. Seeing that look of hurt in his eyes made me realize what I had just said. "Asher, I didn't mean it that way!" "No, it's fine. To know you don't care hurts. Just don't talk to me." he said, his voice cracking. I really screwed up this time. On that note, he left me here to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.

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Hey babieeess, I know I haven't updated like I usually update, but it's all good now.

Sorry, I know this a sad chapter. Losing people is never easy, but losing them for a short amount of time is slightly easier. :)

Til next time, bye sugga pies;)