Shedding The Armour | A Kanej Fanfiction

chapter seven - broken

Inej had watched the events unfold like a horror movie. She had been ecstatic when she had seen Kaz and even more so when she had seen that he hadn't written his gloves in an effort to combat his phobia of skin to skin contact. But the moment he had lifted his hand to counter her father's gesture, Inej had felt only horror as she watched Kaz latch onto her father's hand. Her father had kindly started to speak, "Nice to --" He never finished his sentence. The contact had an immediate effect on Kaz.

His face began to pale, turning an unnatural ghostly white. His hands began to tremble and her father dropped his hand in concern. Inej could see his effort in trying to speak but his lips were locked into place. Hyperventilating, he looked around frantically, head spinning in all directions as if searching for someone and Inej thought that it was likely his brother whom he had lost at a young age.

All of a sudden, he sank to the floor and without him realising he curled up into a ball. His arms wrapped around himself as if that was the only way he could protect himself. His right cheek was just about visible as he tucked his chin to his chest. Tears streaked down Kaz's face one after the other and this mirrored the sight of herself as she failed to refrain herself from sobbing at the sight of him. He looked so broken; she just wanted wrap her arms around him and comfort him that everything would be all right. The only thing that stopped her was the worry that the contact would make everything that much worse. But the last straw was when she saw him pass out. She couldn't stop herself from rushing over to his side and yelling out his name in distress, "Kaz!!!"

He didn't respond. "Please Kaz. Please wake up."

Her parents were looking on in concern, not knowing what to do, how to react or anything. She noticed with a jolt that her father had gloves laying on the dressing table. "Papa [dad] can Kaz borrow those gloves that are on your dressing table?"

Her father jumped as if awakening from a daze. He stared at her for a minute and then quickly muttered, "Yes of course, of course, whatever you need." He rushed over and picked up the gloves. Handing them back to Inej, he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

With the hem of her hooded tunic, she carefully reached out to his hands which were balled up in fists and slowly unclenched them. She slid the gloves onto his hands and with his hands finally, covered she leaned into his side, cautious not to come in contact with any skin and traced circles in his gloved hand. She hoped that the movement would help him feel better. Standing up, she picked him up bridal style to move him to the sofa which would be more comfortable for him once he woke up.

Once she did so, she asked,"Mama [mum] can you lift his legs to help the blood flow? Don't come into contact with his skin or it'll make it worse."

Her mother walked around Kaz and carefully raised his legs high in the air.

Again she Inej leaned into his side and traced circles in the hope the physical contact would help anchor him, when Kaz abruptly opened his eyes. As a result, her mama brought his legs down. Kaz lied there with tears still dripping down his face for a few seconds before Inej felt the need to say, "Shhh, Kaz it's alright. You're safe. You're with me." She whispered the last sentence.

"I know Inej, I always feel safe with you." He was likely unaware of what he was saying since this anxiety had brought down all of his strongly built, fortified walls. And it all broke her heart. But she had to stay strong for him. She had to.

"Kaz, I always feel safe with you too. Do you want to sleep? It'll help you feel better. " She softly spoke, finding it hard to express how she was feeling.

Kaz nodded almost imperceptibly. Within seconds, he had fallen asleep but as soon as she moved to get up, he grabbed her wrist and mumbled, "Don't go Inej, stay here, stay with me, don't leave me."