A Blooming Love Story (Erehisu)

Chapter 7.5- Mikasa

When Mikasa was eight years old, she was saved by Eren. It was on a day she would forever remember, her parents' murder.

It was an ordinary day for Mikasa and her parents. Her mother opted to call in an at-home doctor. She was in perfect health but she wanted a check-up. That day Mikasa learned about the concept of babies. Looking back at it now she wonders, why did her parents bring up that topic? When she thought of her mother, she would sometimes think there was the possibility that she was pregnant.

Human trafficking of Orientals was on the rise and Mikasa was almost part of the statistic. Her mother was one of the few Orientals found in their region and the demand to get a hold of one of them was high. The police came in time before they took Mikasa outside of the borders. Yet, they were too late to save her parents. Both of them died at the scene of her own home.

Her parents were refugees who did not have much family except for her dad's distant relative. Mikasa only met Grisha once but he was all she knew. Not until she met Eren afterward. He saved her from the darkness that threatened to overtake her life. He was the one who somehow found the place they were hiding Mikasa in temporarily. Eren was impulsive and full of life, Mikasa thought was sucked from the world. It was only natural for her to fall in love with him.

Mikasa stayed with the Yeagers for a few months until her distant relatives moved to the region. This was how she met Levi but she did not take a liking to him in the beginning. Levi and Eren had a bad first encounter that resulted in Eren's face getting swollen and losing two of his teeth. Mikasa refused to talk to Levi for a year.

She did not realize the depth of her feelings for him until high school rolled around. However, she only told him late Fall when senior year rolled around. Eren was not surprised by the confession and they agreed to go out. Not much changed between them and they didn't share their first kiss until New Year. They shared it as soon as they counted down to 1, to the new year. It was a brief yet memorable kiss for her. To Mikasa, Eren was the one but he did not return her sentiment.

Eren broke up with Mikasa right after graduation. She was shocked by this revelation but then again, not much changed between them when they went from friends to lovers. They went on dates but it was mostly with Armin or someone else involved. Eren was ambiguous with his reasoning for breaking up with her and he steered clear of her throughout the summer. Mikasa also noticed he started to hang around Ymir, Annie, Historia, Reiner, and Bertholdt more often. It bothered her the way Eren would talk with Historia more. Nothing was wrong with Historia, everyone adored her. She was the cheerleader captain in high school who volunteered at the local orphanage and was the program chair for the Student Government. Her beauty and kindness added to her likability and popularity. What Mikasa didn't like was how Eren was getting influenced by the blonde beauty. He would lean a bit closer to Historia than normal, gave her lingering touches, and a tender smile. Part of Mikasa suspected that Eren's feelings for this goddess ran deeper than what he was expressing to everyone but she dared not say it out loud.

She didn't have to because after their last party before college, Eren's attractions for Historia became more obvious and their friends started to notice. It pissed Mikasa off. Of course, it was because she still loved him but she realized that Historia was being receptive towards Eren. Mikasa saw it in the way Historia's eyes would linger on Eren when he stopped speaking, the way she would always sit or stand near him, and how she would always find a way to touch him.

It shouldn't have surprised Mikasa when Eren came to her dorm one night to profess his feelings to their old high school cheerleader friend. Yet it did, and it broke Mikasa's heart to finally see her fears met. Eren doesn't love her the way she wanted and instead, he was invested in someone else. Someone else, she never considered nor looked at any other person aside from Eren. Not until Jean professed his feelings towards her.

When he expressed his feelings towards her, she kissed him. Jean's lips were softer than Eren's and he held her as if she was fragile. Maybe she was, maybe this was how to get over her childhood love. However, Jean pushes her away and rejects her. Afterward, she worked on avoiding him. It was embarrassing how vulnerable she had been and used Jean to help ease the heartache. Eventually, they were able to talk briefly about the events. Mikasa wished for Jean to forget what happened altogether but it wasn't like him to do so. He did though kept his distance.

"Maybe you need to work more on self-love?"

Mikasa looks surprised at Armin. He opted to grab a smoothie with her instead of hanging out with Jean and Marco.

Armin turns away. "I'm sorry if I'm out of line but this could be a chance for you to focus more on yourself. For most of your life, your focus was solely on Eren and now that it's not, you seem aimless. He was your main reason for living after your.......parents and I would hate it if you would do something careless like what you did with Jean again or maybe something worse that you might regret."

Mikasa stirs around her smoothie. "You're right. Outside of Eren, I don't know who I am, I never tried to find out because I was content with where I was. But I don't know how to be....me."

"I think it will take time, I'm still trying to find myself as well. There's no time limit to these sorts of things but college is the perfect time for both of us to do so. I know the situation with Eren and Historia isn't ideal but there could be a silver lining in this circumstance. It could be the push that you need."

"I don't know how to go about these things. I know you don't either, Armin but thank you."

"It's nothing, I just want the best for my friends. Plus, I miss when we three used to spend time together."

With that conversation in mind, Mikasa sought to find herself. As the days went by, she reflected on who she is and what she wanted to be in the future. Her clothing slowing was changing from darker to lighter tones, she cut her hair, and started to work out more.

One day, Jean bumps into Mikasa outside the gym. "Hey Mikasa, I see you're coming here a lot."

"Hi, working out is the best thing to pass the time with."

"Oh, that's cool. You seem a lot different recently."

"I do?"

"Besides your haircut, yeah. I'm guessing this change is because of Eren. Girls usually have a major transformation if they're trying to get over someone. It's good. You seem more, I don't know, like a new person."

"I'm more focused on other things. College is the time to find yourself so why shouldn't I?"

Jean smiles. "You're right about that. I'm trying to grow my hair out, maybe I'll grow a beard too."

"I think it would suit you."

"Heh, thanks. I'm gonna head over to do some arm exercises, can you spot me?"

"Sure."

"Uhh Mikasa?"

"Yeah?"

"I-well, thanks."

She nods her head soundlessly.

He walks ahead of Mikasa and this was when she decided to actually take a look at Jean. His hair as well as his height was growing and she realized that Jean's face didn't look like a horse like they used to joke about. If she was being honest, she found him to be pretty cute.