What If Just...

11 Vivian

I try to choose clothes that aren't too bright, although I want to try so many things!

I decide to add to the "Favorite" list what I seem to like, but what is somehow "too much" for me: too short, too dark, too shiny, too open.

At the moment, I'm not up to experiments, I should buy only the most necessary things, because I still need to earn money for it.

When all items are selected based on descriptions and quality reviews, it's time to pay for the order.

I head to Aiden's room by the stairs, for him to enter his card details.

There is a TV on in the room, but no one is watching it.
Aiden is lying on the bed with his hands behind his head, his eyes closed.
He must have fallen asleep watching something.

No wonder, as he didn't get a good night's sleep because of my nightmare.

I stand hesitantly at the entrance and think about how I can wake him up, but after all decide to just lock the phone and put it next to him - he'll understand everything when he unlocks the screen and sees the app being opened.

There is a whirl of aromas coming from the ground floor.
Apparently, Grace is going to make a feast.

I'm heading straight to the kitchen.

"Do you need any help?" I am sincerely wondering.

"Oh, it's you, Vivi. No, I'm almost done. But," she adds after thinking for a while, "you can put plates and cutlery on the table."

Aiden's grandmother is so beautiful and elegant, but at the same time hospitable. There is strength in her, a backbone, but without the characteristic coldness.

I look at her and feel genuine admiration, even though I don't know anything about her at all.

"Is Aiden upstairs?" Grace asks, taking fragrant scones out of the oven, the sight of which makes my mouth water.

"Yes, he fell asleep," I say, swallowing.

"Could you..."

Before she can finish, I guess what she wants - I need to wake Aiden up.

My thoughts scattered feverishly: how do I wake him up without touching him? Maybe drop something? Or turn up the volume on the TV? Or...

"Are we gonna have company tonight?" a saving voice is heard.

Luckily for me, Aiden has already woken up and joined us.

"No, dear, all this food is for you - you both look like you got out of captivity."

Grace chuckles, while Aiden watches my reaction closely.

When he realizes there will be no comment from me, he turns to his grandmother.

"Because it's just impossible to eat any food other than yours," Aiden gently hugs Grace by the shoulders and kisses her on the cheek.

It's so cute and so unusual  for me.
My parents hugged me only on birthdays. Close contacts like hugs are not welcome in my world.

Looking at these two, I mentally ask myself: would I like and could I openly express my feelings in everyday life as well?
At the moment it seems I would never dare.

Grace waves for us to sit down at the table.

There are so many different dishes in front of me, but they all don't pass through the list of prescribed ones.

Aiden notices that my plate is still empty while he and his grandmother are filling theirs, laughing at something.

"Vivian, are you all right?" the guy questions.