What If Just...

36 Vivian

Just when I'm mentally doubting the reality of what's happening, Aiden's phone rings.

I jump away from him like I'm scalded.

Sighing in frustration, Aiden takes out his phone from his pocket and answers the call.

"Yes, Leo, we'll be right there," he answers shortly and puts the phone back.

"Let's go?" the guy offers, disappointed.

I nod my head.

We walk back to the bike in silence.

I think each of us feels awkward right now.

The road to the bar seems shorter - we get here too quickly.
Maybe it's just because I'm lost in my thoughts all along the way.

I don't know how to behave with Aiden - I have never had such mixed feelings for him.

Did he want that kiss or was it a momentary impulse?

Why didn't I stop him, but reached out closer to him instead?

What would have happened if we had kissed after all?

What turn would our lives take?

As always, I have a million questions, but, unfortunately, they all remain unanswered.

There are so many new events and emotions that sometimes I just can't define what I feel.

Aiden must be having a hard time with me.
How can he understand me if I don't know what's going on myself?

He shows the patience of a saint towards me, and I'm grateful to him for that.

Gratitude!

I probably wanted to kiss him because of the overwhelming feeling of gratitude for his warm attitude towards me...

The bike stops.

I didn't even notice how we got here.

Leo is standing near the bar.

"Vivian, I apologize in advance for being rude, but WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" he asks, gesturing emotionally.

"We were at the park. Do you remember that place?" says Aiden calmly.

Leo turns his anger to mercy at this mention.

"Yeah," he replies, "Did you like it?"

It takes me a moment to realize the guy is talking to me.

"Yes, it's very beautiful there."

My mind is still far away.

"Will you come inside? The party is in full swing," Leo asks, but I think he knows the answer in advance.

"Not in the mood, sorry. I don't want to spoil the fun with my sour face," Aiden smiles guiltily, "But Vivian can stay if she wants."

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I want to leave too.

"I'd rather go home. I don't know anyone here," I reply quietly.

Leo nods his head, showing his understanding.

"I'm sure if it were up to you two, you wouldn't leave home at all," he laughs and after a few seconds adds, squinting his eyes, "Vivian, was it you who gave me two printed tickets to the musical?"

"How did you guess?" I wonder.

"Only you can come to a party in a bar and give theater tickets," he explains with a mocking smile. "You know that on a birthday one gives not what one likes, but what the birthday person will like?" he asks sarcastically.

Aiden chuckles softly sideways.

"Of course I know it. But I assumed I needed to give you a new experience, to buy something you might not buy yourself," I explain.

Leo looks at me seriously.

"I think you need them more. May you have new experience," he answers affectionately, taking tickets out of his pocket and stretching out his hand to take my wrist and unfold my palm.

When I realize what he is going to do, I quickly pull my hand back.

"No, this is my gift to you," I exclaim in indignation.

"Vivian, I'm going to pass.
I know for sure I'll be busy that day and I won't be able to go," Leo persuades me and puts the tickets in my palm.

Seeing how upset I am, he pulls me to him.

"I really really liked your gift. Next time we will definitely go together. Having agreed on the date and time in advance," he adds with a grin.

At this time Aiden clears his throat from the side.

"Give it to the guy," he says, handing Leo the keys to the bike.

"See you soon," the birthday boy winks at me and grabs the keys.

I smile back at him and nod my head.

Aiden moves towards his car without saying goodbye, I hurry after him.

He starts the engine as soon as I touch the seat.

It seems like he wants to get rid of me as soon as possible.

I glance at him briefly as he pulls out of the parking lot onto the road and, seeing his displeased serious expression, turn to the window.

The sounds of music are filling in the space of the car.

I've already heard this song - it's from a playlist with a dot.

I look at the player panel and my suspicions are confirmed - it really is that playlist.

The atmosphere reigning in the car is suffocating.

I hope we get home soon, otherwise I will definitely cry.

Thanks to the lyrics, my imagination draws me teenage Aiden: all his problems, sorrows and sufferings.

If he is listening to this music now, does it mean he is sad?

I feel helpless - on this side I'm like a stupid child, and it can't help but make me angry.

We finally get to Grace's.

"Go inside, I'll come back later," Aiden says softly.

I have no choice but to obey his request.