The Agency

CHAPTER 26

Tuesday came quickly, which was good due to all of the emotions running through my mind. Jake "The Snake" brought a pack of beer and we sat on the couch, watching baseball and catching up on the time that had past.

Jake was a veteran of The Agency and spoke of his exploits very nonchalantly. Even after spending more than a year with The Agency, it amazed me that people could be in this line of work and not be mesmerized by the opportunity that they had.

The mood was very light, but my heart and mind were still filled with gloom. I knew that the thoughts that had been plaguing me since departing from London were crazy, but I needed time to work through these feelings with someone else. Jake wasn't much for emotion, but he was the only friend that I could confide in.

"I've got something I've got to ask you about," I said during a commercial break between innings, "How do you keep yourself from getting too emotionally attached to your clients?"

"What do you mean?" Jake said as he gulped down the last of his third beer.

"Like, I've had clients that I would consider friends. Jennifer Lawrence and Ariel Winter are great girls, but they feel more just like a fuck buddy. I care about them as friends, but don't have any deep feelings for them. But, then I run into people like Taylor Swift, Kaley Cuoco and Emma Watson who I just get fixated on. We aren't just building a physical connection, but we also build a deep emotional connection."

"So, like you are in love with them or something?" Jake asked.

"No. Well, maybe. I'm not really sure what it is," I said, before taking a big swig of my beer.

"Well, dude, I'm not sure what you want me to say," Jake replied as he opened another bottle, "I just look at these ladies like girls in the bar. The only difference is instead of a one night stand, it lasts a little longer."

"So you don't have feelings for any your clients at all?"

"Not really. Why would I? They are paying me to do one thing. They aren't looking for love; they are looking to get laid. That's all I try to do. My feelings for Erin are something totally different then the feelings I get with my clients. That is why I like having a girlfriend."

"I guess, but I don't feel like I can just have sex with them without forming some sort of emotional connection. I've never been wired that way."

"Okay, let me put it this way. What do you think is the most that could ever happen between you and a client," Jake said, setting his beer on the coffee table with a more serious tone to his voice.

"Well, I guess I don't know," I sheepishly replied.

"Well, I do know! The most that can happen with you and a client is what you are already getting. You do realize that they are paying you to have sex with them. This isn't 'Pretty Woman'! They aren't trying to save you from this life. You are the guy that takes care of their sexual urges and offers them some companionship. They pay you so they don't have to worry about ending up in a tabloid for getting banged by some random dude."

I took in what Jake was telling me, and it was obviously true. The truth was cutting through me like a knife, but it is what I needed to hear.

"You think that you and Taylor Swift could get married?" Jake continued, "Of course not! We are no names! We are beneficial to women because we are bad boys. Women love to be with the bad boy!"

"I'm not much of a bad boy," I said with a chuckle.

"In reality, no you aren't. You are probably one of the nicest dudes I've ever met. But, to these women they don't see you as some normal guy. To them you are a high end prostitute. I know we aren't supposed to use the term 'prostitute' at The Agency, but if we are being honest that's what this is. They feel naughty because of what they are doing, not because of who you are."