Lost and Found

foreword

It's been a year since I released my first ever poetry book called "Ephemeral." It was the time when I felt like the world was against me and I really felt sad and lonely. It was devastating to grieve and begin again. Writing Ephemeral taught me to hold on to nostalgic mementos such as childhood memories and my whimsical aspirations as a teenager. As months passed by, I continued writing and was able to publish poetry books such as 'Agape' and 'Metanoia.' Agape taught me to be grateful and share my gratitude unto others, while Metanoia taught me to heal from the scars I have had through the years. And now, I am writing another collection of prose and poetry entitled "Lost and Found."

I never had the chance to feel something as unique and beautiful as this. I've never felt like I belonged somewhere and that I am appreciated. I've never really thought to myself that I do matter to others and that there are people out there who would actually want to be friends with me and who would accept the person that I am. For the past years, I felt like I lost the person that I once were. I felt drained. I felt weak. I felt like I didn't know myself anymore. It's always been a struggle for me to go along with others, especially to be myself comfortably. It's like I have this barrier with the people I am surrounded with. I have always been running away, always avoiding myself to become vulnerable, always have been struggling to be accepted, always have been struggling to be loved and always have been lost.

Unexpectedly, I didn't know that I would be found. I didn't expect to be found. But during the time when I felt so lost, I really wanted to be found. I have always been praying to God that someday there would be people who would accept me and be there for me who would never ever leave me. It's so heartwarming how God answers your prayers after years of yearning and seeking things. It's a blessing in disguise how beautiful things suddenly occur when you least expect them. And with that, I want to publish this book with all thanksgiving and love to God, to my family and to the people who found me and cherish me.

I just want to say thank you to the people who are there for me. To my old friends, you're always in my heart, always in my soul. I'll never forget how you accepted me and cherished me as your friend. Thank you for not leaving me despite of the things I have been through. You're my source of strength and hope.

To the new people who welcomed me into their lives, I am beyond grateful for having all of you in my life at this point of time. Thank you for the unexpected friendship. Thank you for believing in me when I felt like no one did. Thank you for accepting how perfectly imperfect I am as a person and as a friend. But most of all, thank you so much for listening to me and for the comfort you've given me. I'll forever cherish this friendship. I love you all so much.

And I realize that as these people found me, I also have found me. I found back the old self I have lost through the years. I found her and I'm so happy that she's back. I pray she'd never feel lost ever again. And if she does, I pray she never loses her strength over her weaknesses.

This is my story.

This is
Lost and Found.

Love,

Princess Nicole (aka Crazygirlthinks)