Lost and Found

wound

Every bit of my heart is aching for there's a huge wound inside it. A wound so delicate and raw. It all started when I carried so much within me. When I felt like I didn't have a place to belong to and people I can be with, I've gone anxious and crazy. I was bullied for my confidence. I was often misunderstood by others when I just want to be friends with them. I was heart broken so many times when I was unappreciated by the people I did appreciate the most. I was so soft to the world, to be honest. However, the world wasn't soft to me because the people around me abused my kindness and it was too much to handle. I felt like I've been carrying the weight of the world in my chest for the past years. I've always felt like people are just nice to me when they needed something from me. This is why I couldn't trust anyone easily. I feel like I don't know how to trust people anymore because along the way, lots of people have betrayed me and they lost my trust in them. Also, I've been through something so awful. I felt like I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't be me. And the people surrounding me kept on looking at me and judging my every move and word that I say. It was a tough time for me. You know, I always smile outside and act like everything is fine when everything's not. I act okay when I wasn't really okay. I hid my tears from the eyes that kept on looking at me. I hid how scared and anxious I was because I wanted to escape from everything I encountered. I studied so hard, but people treated me like their rival. And there, I lost me.