Lost and Found

mystical time

So precious yet adamantly quick,
Who would want to stop it?
Who would?
I guess I do.

It's making me feel like everything happens in rapid motion,
And I was running out of motivation.
Oh time, you used to be my inspiration.
Yet now, I feel like I'm losing interest in everything with an absolute desperation.

Time, mystical time.
When I was little, I thought everything would always be fine.
I was wrong.
Time flies too quickly and people die.

When my grandpa died when I was eight,
I thought it wasn't fate.
I thought he'd breathe again and exist
But he didn't; he was gone too soon.

I never thought I'd want to curse time,
Oh mystical time.
I wanted to scream and cry as much as I could
Because there I know- he'd never come back.

A few years later,
Another grandpa of mine died.
Life is so freaking short, yes.
It makes me want to stop it from running.

I wish I could hug them again.
I wish I could see their sweetest smiles once more.
I wish I could be with them because life sucks without their presence.
I wish, oh mystical time.

And just last year,
My grandma died of stroke.
I felt so alone.
I felt my heart ache.

It just so happens that whenever I look at their old photographs,
Whenever I go to their house,
I could feel their presence very well.
It's like they're invisible and I'd want to travel back in time to see them again.

And when I look at their photos,
I feel enlightened.
'Cause at least I'd envision how they lived and existed.
Oh mystical time, I want you to bring me back to the past.

I keep on yearning to go back to the past;
Be a child again and so I'd be with them.
My childhood years was gone too soon,
And I feel like I don't wanna grow up anymore.

When I was young,
I rushed growing up.
But when I reached 13 onwards,
I'd want to become a little girl again who didn't have any problems.

Oh mystical time,
How precious you are.
It seems that my childhood years is over;
No matter how I want to bring them back forever.

Oh mystical time,
I could remember how sad I was before.
When the world seemed to turn its back from me,
I wanted to stop you.

I felt so alone and I was only thinking of you,
Oh mystical time.
When people mistreated me back then,
I wanted to end you so badly.

I wanted to run away and escape.
From the proximities of growing up,
From the proximities of death,
From everything.

I was scared,
Oh mystical time.
I kept on crying and looking at how quick you are,
While slowly getting all of these scars.

I was broken,
Oh mystical time.
I wanted to see what the future has in store for me,
Yet I don't want to because I thought of everything so negatively.

Oh mystical time,
I've been wishing to let go of the past.
But the present reminds me of the past,
How am I supposed to live in the present when my mind is there in the past?

Oh mystical time,
The future scares me.
I am filled with fear because I wanted to forget the past,
Yet I am scared that those things might happen again in the future.

Oh mystical time,
heal my aching heart.
Oh mystical time,
I am helpless.

- mystical time