"what are you doing here? after that night you expecting me to talk to you the way you want to? what are you doing to yourself irene c'mon wake up" he said with full of frustration and disappointment on his voice.
"kua i'm here to--" he cut my words.
"stop that kind of explanation i don't need that irene, ano pa nga bang magagawa ko? hinayaan mo nga akong umalis kagabi hindi ba?" he sarcastically said then turn his gaze on me.
"of all the people hindi ikaw ang makikita kong ganyan irene! did you tried to stare yourself in mirror, did you even realize or see yourself becoming worthless because of that fucking boy" naramdaman ko naman ang pag kirot ng puso ko, parang isang milyong kutsilyo ang sumaksak sa puso ko
mas masakit parin pala kapag ang katotohanan na ang lumalapit sayo
"you want me to forgive you?" he stop. and look at my eye straightly.
"hiwalayan mo siya" he added that make me chuckled.
he look at my eye deeply finding some answer.
i didn't answer, I can't leave him. i love rio so much
"what do i expect" he said
"kua i didn't mean to stop you in that way, actually i don't want to offend you" i said trying to divert our feelings, we need that.
i know he can't forgive me in this way.
"but you did irene! you did" he shout. i can see it in her eyes, the worried the regrets and those agony and specially the disappointment.
"kua please" i trying to put conviction in my words.
he turn his gaze on me again.
"still you're blinded on the reality that keeps you slapping, how come you choose to be alone in your own feelings just for him?" he added and stop again for a moment.
this is wrong, actually wrong.
"did you think matitiis kita?" this is the first time i see him crying because of me.
i didn't speak.
"asan na yung bunso naming kapatid na matapang? yung hindi nagpapauto kase gusto niya siya lagi siya ang panalo. asan na yung dating irene na laging sinasabi na i never hold into things that i know will never be worth it." he blurted with all his tears.
"irene ikaw pa ba yan? your too far away from the bunso that i knew" he added
and i realized. i don't know myself anymore. i'm becoming selfless because of rio but i can't accused him because i fucking choose this circumstance because i love him
kaya kong tiisin ang lahat, kaya kong lunukin ang pride ko para lang kay rio sobra ko na siyang mahal
"you don't need to cry like that because if you love yourself irene you have to cut your relationship with rio, let yourself be happy without him. don't be to hard to yourself" he grumbled before walking out and left me alone in this huge office room.
pagkauwi ko naman sa bahay i see rio's car in our parking lot
i guess he's here already.
manang open the door for me.
"where he is?" i asked, she pointed out our sala.
i see rio lying on our sofa while drinking some beer.
"rio" he look at me.
"umuwi ka na pala." i added he didn't speak.
"mahal kita" i whispered before i held his hand and left some kisses on top of it, i tripped my hand on her face and gently carries his face while i gliding my right hand on his hair.
he refuse my hand.
"stop that" he shout that make my heart jumped.
naramdaman ko naman ang pagkirot ng puso ko, diba dapat ako ang galit? pero bakit parang ako ang laging walang karapatan para magalit?
"can you please acknowledge the fact that i'm tired for this situation. why did you just let me go?!" he said out of the blue.
"you know i don't wanna be with you with your tantrums" he said, what!!!
"rio what are you saying? i never give you a damn" i shout.
"never?! akala mo ba hindi ko alam na sinusundan mo ako papunta sa office? don't you dare try to lie to me irene" he blurted, a tears formed in my eyes.
"ginawa ko yun dahil mahal kita, because i know if you love the person you have to give assurance to someone they loved, that everything will be okay even they inpain just like what i am now. akala mo ba okay ang lahat rio!!! akala mo ba okay ako sa sitwasyon na to? akala mo ba hindi rin ako napapagod? kase ang totoo rio pagod na pagod na ako? pagod na pagod na akong intindihin ka, tiisin ka." i look at him, all this year ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob sabihin sakanya ang tunay kong nararamdaman
napagod na rin ako, napagod na akong kalimutan ang sarili ko para sakanya. ubos na ubos na ako
"tapatin mo nga ako, minahal mo ba ako?" diretso kong tanong sakanya habang patuloy parin ang pagbagsak ng mga luha ko
kahit masakit tatanggapin ko matapos lang ang lahat ng ito dahil pagod na akong ipaglaban ang taong ni minsan hindi ako pinaglaban
i did everything, but i didn't expect that i that one mistake.
everything changed
sa totoo lang i want to mute this scene, i didn't want to hear what you supposed to answer rio dahil natatakot ako na baka tuluyan na akong patayin ng katotohanan
pero sabihin mo lang rio na mahal mo ako kahit hindi totoo, ipaglalaban parin kita.
he sincely stare at me.
"mahal kita" he said that make my heart melt, kaya kong tiisin ang sakit basta wag mo lang ako iwan rio
"then don't leave me, lahat ginagawa ko just to make sure and settle our relationship" i said he just wipe my tears and hug me.
kaya kong kalimutan ang lahat para sayo rio...pero sana ikaw din
YOU ARE READING
DARK SIDE
Mystery / Thrillerit's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.
