Much Ado About Nothing [The Wizarding World]

Act 3, Scene 3

Harry, the Constable, with the help of his second in command, Ron, was inspecting the Watch, who stood, lined up in the street, opposite the church, ready for their shift. It was dark and Ron carried a lantern.
Harry twirled his truncheon and squinted at them. 'Are you good men and true?'

'Yes,' said Ron, 'or else, it were a pity, but they would suffer salvation, body and soul.'

Harry flicked a leaf off the shoulder of one of them with his truncheon. 'Nay,' he said, 'that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince's watch.'

'Well, give them their charge, neighbour Harry,' said Ron.

Harry drew himself up and placed his hand on his chest. 'First, who think you the most desertless man to be constable?'

One of the watchmen pointed to two others. 'George, sir, or Fred Weasley,' he said, 'for they can write and read.'

Harry tapped his palm with his truncheon. 'Come hither, neighbour Weasley,' he said. 'Merlin has blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune: but to write and read comes by nature.'
The watchman began: 'Both which, master constable...'

'You have,' he said looking sternly at the watchman, who stepped back to his place. 'I knew it would be your answer.' He turned back to Weasley. 'Well, for your favour, sir, why, give thanks, and make no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch, therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge. You shall comprehend all vagrom men: you are to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.'

'How if he will not stand?' said Weasley.

'Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go: and presently call the rest of the watch together and thank Merlin you are rid of a knave.'

'If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince's subjects.' said Ron.

'True, said Harry, 'and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.'

'We will rather sleep than talk,' said Weasley. 'We know what belongs to a watch.'

'Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman: for I cannot see how sleeping should offend: only, have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.'

'How if they will not?' said Weasley.

'Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.'

'Well, sir,' said Weasley.

'If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man,' said Harry. 'And, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why the more is for your honesty.'

'If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?'

'Truly, by your office, you may: but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.'

'You have been always called a merciful man, mate,' said Ron.

'Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him,' said Harry.