Much Ado About Nothing [The Wizarding World]

Act 5, Scene 4

What a joyful sight it was! An alter had been erected on the lawn, bunting was strung between the trees, and musicians were playing the lively music that they had brought from Manchester. Cepheus was his old self again, busily organising the servants, who were covering the tables with food and drink. Draco wore a brightly-coloured new suit, and was proudly holding the hand of a happy-looking Astoria. Tulip and a subdued Daisy stood together, talking earnestly. Theadora was still pale. She sat on a chair, waiting. River escorted Friar Frances across the lawn. The friar shook hands with Cepheus and smiled broadly.

'Didn't I tell you she was innocent?' he said.

'So are her accusers, the prince and Bas. It was all a mistake. Daisy bears some responsibility for this, although unknowingly, as it's emerged from my enquiry.'

'Well I'm glad it's all turned out so well,' said River.

'So am I,' said Draco, 'otherwise I would be honour bound to call young Bas to a reckoning for it.'
Cepheus rubbed his hands. 'Well, daughter,' he said, 'you and all the women, go to your room and wait until I send for you, then come back masked.' The women set off and Cepheus turned to his brother. 'The prince and Bas will be here at any moment. You know what you have to do, brother. You have to be the father of the bride and give her to young Bas.'

'Which I'll gladly do,' said River.

Draco touched the friar on his shoulder. 'Friar, I must ask you to do something,' he said.

'What, m'lord?'

'To tie me up or destroy me, one of the two. Lord Fawley, it's a fact that your niece likes me.'

Cepheus laughed. 'With the help of my daughter. That's true,' said Cepheus.

'And I like her.'

'And I think that was with my help, and the help of Bas and the prince,' said Cepheus. 'But what do you want?'

'Your answer is enigmatic,' said Draco. 'But what I want is that what you want will coincide with what we want: to be married today, and that's what I want your help with, good friar.'

'I give my blessing to that,' said Cepheus.

'And I'll help you,' said the friar. 'Here come the prince and Bas.'

The two were accompanied by some of their officers. Behind them came several of the young friends of Theadora and Astoria.

'Good morning prince: good morning, Bas,' said Cepheus. 'We've been waiting for you. Are you still resolved to marry my brother's daughter today?'

'Resolved,' said Bas, 'no matter what she looks like.'

'Go and get her, brother,' said Cepheus. 'The friar's waiting.'

'Good morning, Draco,' said Muhammed. 'Why, what's the matter? Such a February face, so cold and stormy.'

'I think he's contemplating the wild bull,' said Bas. 'But don't worry, man: you'll make a great cuckold.'

'Oh will I? Some strange bull jumped on your father's cow and conceived a calf that was very like you because you have that same bleat.'

'I owe you for that,' said Bas. 'But not now because look who's coming.'

The women accompanying River were all masked. 'Which one is the lady I'm going to marry?' said Bas.
'This one,' said River, 'and I give her to you.'

'Why then, she's mine,' said Bas. 'Sweet, let me see your face.'

'No you won't,' said Cepheus. 'Not till you take her hand before this friar and swear to marry her.'