Cardinal

Chapter 8 Poem

I silently lied in the dark room, staring into the ceiling. The comforter did what its name implied, comforted me while the world around me turned bleak. I looked over to the guitar standing against its rack and thought about the memories that lied within it.

"You'll want to hold down the top of this string so that way you can create this tune," my father stated, before gently stroking the string. Its vibrations made a deep humming sound, before he continued to gently stroke it. It continued the mellow humming sound as I watched with wonder and curiosity. He held the guitar against his bloated stomach as he played, keeping it gently lying on his lap. His brown eyes seemed to glisten with the music as he played it softly.

It was so natural; the way he was moving his fingers up and down the strings to create the simple humming of the instrument. The melody was so beautiful and calming, the type of music that would put a baby to sleep almost instantly. I silently admired his talent. After a few moments, he silenced the beautiful melody and gently handed it to me.

"It's your turn to try," he stated. I was extremely nervous, but I did my best to place my fingers in the position he had them. I felt the straightness of the string press against my fingers, but slowly struck the stillness of them. The string created the same slow humming sound of the guitar, and I continued to create the same vibration. After a moment, my finger felt stiff, and it started to ache for some reason.

"Why do my fingers hurt?" I asked my father, and he simply chuckled.

"You're working against the stillness of the keys to create a melody. Imagine that the strings don't want to move but you're trying to move them, you need to find a way to get what you want while also appeasing the strings to join your motions. It's a delicate balance that one day, if you practice long enough, you'll understand."

Since that day, five years ago, I've wanted to pursue this musical career. Every day almost I've practiced to be the best I could be, and so far, it's payed off well. I've thought about sending the music to a record label, but I never did. I've tried creating my own musical rhythm but each time, its only come out as becoming really similar to another. My lyrics alongside it aren't that great either, I just never really had the understanding on how to make my rhymes flow with the rhythm.

Alongside that, the lyrics seem to come off weak because I write about heart break and love but, I never really experienced those emotions. I never understood what it meant to be in love with someone to the point you'd do anything for them, and I've never known the feeling of betrayal. Sometimes I felt as though I couldn't relate to anyone because of it, it seemed as though all the girls my age have had love. People explain to everyone that they don't need love or a relationship to function in society, but that doesn't mean I don't want it. I sighed quietly in the dark before grabbing my phone.

Once I opened it, I saw that I got an email from Harrison roughly an hour ago. I was surprised because I never got the notification for the email. I quickly opened it and read what he sent me.

"I've collected three poems that I believe are some of my better ones. I hope you like them," he stated. I noticed the three pdf files below and pressed on the first one named Lace. From there, I began reading the poem.

"Lace"

she feels her life is nothing

But I was always there when she was crying

I did my best to make everything ok

But she never understood my feelings anyway

Night and day I feel nothing but shame