Cardinal

Chapter 12 Histories Gem

(Trigger Warning) 

1 year four months before July, 2018

My sleep clothing comforted me as I tried to explain to Elijah that there was nothing going on.

"Trevor and I are just friends! Why is it you don't understand that?" I yelled into the phone, while he sat on the other end with his false claims.

"You just go around flirting with other guys all the time. Don't act like I don't know you don't love me!" Elijah yelled from his side. I was starting to feel emotional as he continued with his hurtful statements. "You have no sense of loyalty after all I've done for you, you stupid slut!"

It was always like this. He would always call me a whore or ugly or dumb or something else hurtful. I could escape it, but I loved him dearly and I wanted to be with him, claiming that if I want him at his best, I need to be there at his worst. Something about it felt right to me, even if I was left in tears or heart broken.

"Please stop Elijah, I've known Trevor for years," I exclaimed brokenly, my voice cracking as I did. It pained me to see him like this, knowing that he couldn't trust me for some reason despite the endless loyalty I expressed.

"If you're such a great friend with him, then break up with me! I don't need your stupidity in my life." I sat there silently, tears dripping down my face as he continued rambling his painful nonsense.

"How could I leave you?!" I exclaimed into the phone, imagining a world without him by my side. My heart would stop if there was ever a moment I didn't have him in my life.

"No, it's fine, I'm just going straight to bed now," he stated calmly, causing my tears to rush out of my eyes quicker than before.

"No wait!" I screamed into the phone with a loud gasp. I heard the beeping sound of him hanging up before sitting there in utter silence and disbelief. Why did it hurt so much when he left me alone? The abandonment from someone I loved was too much for me to bear as I grieved in silence.

My head throbbed with pain as I gently rested it against the soaking wet pillow. From there, everything became black as I quietly drifted into darkness, escaping the cruel reality I lived in. Escaping the pain I felt from his absence...

1 Year before July, 2018

"I'm done being your pawn," I exclaimed loudly, before walking away from Elijah. I could feel the tension between us rising with every step as I escaped from the pool.

"You can't leave me! You're the woman I love!" he called out, escaping the light blue color of the water and rushing towards me. He was quickly stopped by two older gentlemen, understanding that things weren't going to go well if they didn't step in. My friends quickly left the pool and rushed over towards me as I felt tears begin to form behind my eyes. Angrily, I turned towards him.

"You say that yet every time I need you, you abandon me like an animal! I don't want you in my life anymore Elijah, go find another girl to abuse!" His rage filled face slowly changed to a distraught expression. His world slowly began to crumble in front of his pale face. Tears fell to the hard ground, mimicking that of water droplets from his black hair.

I had to look away, it was impossible to lay my eyes upon him. Quietly, we all left the pool and walked back to one of my friend's house...

10 Months before July, 2018

Depression consumed me as I looked down at my phone, seeing the countless messages from Elijah pile up in our direct message chat. Each message had the phrase "I'm sorry" or "I love you" thrown into it; like that would change my mind. There was nothing about him I missed... except for his presence. I didn't want him nor did I ever respond to a message or phone call, but I still felt loneliness in his absence and wished for his smile. I loved him for some strange reason that I didn't understand.