Cardinal

Chapter 20 Poem Book

Thanksgiving, a time of year in which everyone smiles and laughs as they spend time with the people closest to them while indulging in amazing food. Mashed potatoes, Turkey, Gravy, Biscuits, all these tasty delights while being around the people you see every day, or once a year, it's always an enjoyable experience. But then how come I can only see it as a blur, a blur that was only an hour ago. I can't remember a word nor conversation I had with anyone, my mind escaping into the thoughts of what happened at the park. Looking over to my nightstand, I saw the small, black notebook that Harrison gave me a few days prior...

"You can keep this with you for now," he stated, handing me the notebook as I was walking away from him. I turned back, surprised by his sudden actions.

"Hey wait, that's yours. That's something personal to you," I explained, knowing he felt bad for what happened earlier.

"No, it's okay, it'll help you write songs. I promise." I stood there awkwardly, not really understanding why he wanted me to take his notebook. Despite this though, I silently grabbed it before leaving. Leaving without a smile, nor a wave or a goodbye. I just walked back to my parent's car and went home.

I stared at it silently, still confused as to why he gave it to me. Glancing at my clock, I noticed it was only 11 at night. Quietly, I sat up, grabbing the notebook before walking to my desk. I flicked the desk lamp on as I looked down at the small, black notebook. I wanted to see what lied within its pages, but it also felt too personal for me to look through.

I sort of looked at it for a while, not knowing what to do or how to think of it. But I did finally open the notebook, its first page containing his name and phone number in the chance he lost it. I never realized how neat and clean his handwriting was, having strange characteristics throughout. As he wrote, there were visible lines from where he lifted the pencil to move on to the next word, but it still drifted along the paper due to the way he wrote. It was as if he connected all his words and letters through a strange cursive writing, yet it was still eligible.

I flipped to the next page, the top of the page presenting the title of the poem below. Lace. I remembered this poem and skimming through it brought a slight smile to my face. I remembered the heartwarming sensation I felt from the poem alongside the curiosity as to who the Lace girl was. Smiling, I flipped to the next page where there was a bunch of sentences written across it. At the top of the page, there was the word "Quote's" written neatly above it.

Quietly, I began reading them.

"Soon will come the day I won't cross your mind."

"All the stars in the night sky can't match the beauty in your eyes."

"Unconditional love, the type of love in which you want to let go but when you do, the memories of her remind you of how much you loved her."

"My biggest mistake in life was diving into a shallow lake."

"If it was between you and the world, I would pick you because... you became my world"

"You deserve healthy love, even if you've never seen it before nor have ever felt its gentle, yet perplexing touch."

As I read the quotes, I could almost see him writing them wherever he was in these moments. I could hear the scratching of the pencil on the paper with a solemn face as he wrote these things down, thoughts of his summarized into simple sentences. I could see the pain that lied within each word, the feeling of loss yet love for something still there. I continued to the following page, noticing that this one didn't have a title.