Time [Ace x Reader]

chapter 40 / missing you

Y/N's POV

It had been days since I had dropped off Ace. Or at least it had been supposed to be a mere drop off. But then everything had gone off the rails. All my worst fears had become a reality.
Ace hadn't taken my secret well. The secret I had been the most scared to tell him about. I had tried to explain it to him in a scientific manner, tried to distance us from this cruel truth. I had hoped that maybe if my explanation lacked emotion his reaction would too.
But I was wrong. We had fought and this quick drop off turned into what felt like a final goodbye.
Maybe I was too naive, thinking that he could bare the the truth about what consequences our love could have? But should I have lied to him? Should I have kept him in the dark to fulfill my own selfish desires? I couldn't do that!
I loved him too much for that.

A love that I would now have to keep hidden. Seeing how Ace had reacted to the mere thought of my life being bound to his. How could I ever tell him that it was already too late? How could I ever tell him that I already loved him?
I would practically guilt trip him into staying with me.
Ace was too nice. There was no way he would go and live his life as he wanted if he knew that my life hung by a rope tied to his every move.
He was reckless when it involved himself. But never would Ace want to put someone he cared for in harm's way. Ace and I were close friends. He would probably end up trying to live a quiet and safe life, painfully yearning to sail out to sea, but not being able to bare the thought of risking me if he followed it's call.

Ace was my phoenix. He had risen from the ashes to once again shine with the warmth and excitement of life and soon he was going to shine brighter than ever before. He was a pirate, a man who yearned for freedom and adventure. How could I snuff out his flame? How could I keep him in a cage?

Countless times I wished I could go back to change something. Something that would stop this disaster from happening.
But no matter how many times I regretted and replayed the events in my head I could not find a happy ending. I would always have to tell Ace eventually and he would always leave me just like he had done in real life.

"Dammit, it's not like I wanted this!!! I'm scared too... Ace- Ace I never asked to fall in love with you! It's not like I was given the choice. Before I even knew what was happening my entire being already called your name."

Crying, I sunk my head into my pillows. Never had it felt like this much of a curse to be part elf. I felt empty. Only the pain in my chest continued to swell as the waves carried me away from the one I loved.

__________________________________________

Ace's POV

"Don't loose your concentration, boy!"

My gigantic teacher's voice boomed through the air, snapping me back to reality. That was a close call. A second later and I would have drifted off to sleep, loosing control over the burning energy which days of training had finally collected within me.

"You have a good feel for fire. But your concentration is clearly lacking. Go get some rest. I can't let my new deciple blow himself up before he even manifests his talent."

"No, I can still go on!"

"You are almost falling asleep as we speak. This is just a waste of time and energy. Go take a break. And make sure to get proper rest at night from now on."

"As if that were so easy."

"Boy- I don't know what is bothering you. I am no good with talking and stuff. But if you think it could help then I am always here if you need to vent a little."

"I- Don't mind it. I'll go rest."

Sighing in defeat I got up and dragged myself to the little camp I had set up for myself near Sir Glout's house.
I couldn't bare sleeping inside so I had decided to reject the giant's rooming offer. At least as long as I could stare at the clear night sky my mind would stay free from those dreams.
Those vivid pictures that had been haunting me both day and night. Me waking up on that beach, holding Y/N in my arms. The way the glittering sea danced around her siren form as she pulled me through the waves. How she cried. How she got angry. How she talked. How she laughed. And the worst memory of all: the way she smiled. The way her entire face just lit up, her eyes sparkling with life. How every time that smile blossomed on her face something stirred inside me. A gentle warmth washing over me whilst a strange ticklish sensation spread through my chest, leaving me giddy and excited for the future.
I never thought someone's smile could've ever made me feel that way.
I never thought that the afterimage of a smile could rip me apart like this.
Now those happy feelings were just memories. Freshly sharpened knifes that stabbed me every time they flashed by my conscious. And Y/N always dominated my conscious. As if the further we were apart the more vivid my memory of her became.
How ironic. And here I thought fate had finally looked kindly upon me. Guess it just wasn't finished torturing me. Why am I even alive if all I can do is to hide from Y/N, as my feelings rip me apart?