I woke up because of the weight I felt in my body. Sobrang bigat. I needed not to open my eyes. I already knew why I felt mabigat. Kase ang higanteng katabi ko nakadantay at nakayakap na naman sa akin. Hehe, opo. Magkatabi pa din kami. Umandar na naman ang pagkakuripot niya at hindi siya bumili ng aircon at foam para sa room niya, according to him, hindi na kailangan kase meron naman daw ako at makikitulog na lang daw siya sa room ko. My gheed!
I looked at him sleeping deeply hugging me. I suddenly felt strange. Wait, since when pa ako kinabahan everytime nakikita ko siya? I didnt have any idea. He has been here for 2months already. My friends already knew whats our set up and they all agreed when Kiefer explained to them the situation. Medyo nagtampo pa nga sila kase hindi ko daw sinabi sa kanila na ganun na ang nangyayari sa akin the past few months. Pero naiintindihan naman daw nila yung dahilan kung bakit di ko sinabi sa kanila na ginugulo pa din ako ni Paolo.
Sanay na akong nandito si Kief. May tig na ako. Like tiga luto, tiga linis ng bahay, tiga alaga. Every morning before he goes to Samal to manage the resort that he was putting up, pinagluluto at hinahatid niya muna ako sa office. He always makes sure na safe akong nakakarating sa office na walang nanggugulo at sumusunod.
At pag-uwian naman, sinusundo naman niya ako. I felt special and pampered. And pressured. Pressured because as what Ive mentioned may nararandaman na akong kakaiba everytime nakikita ko siya. Ayoko ng nararamdaman ko kase mahirap. Mahirap pigilin. Mahirap umamin.
I already was so comfortable and ease na nandyan siya. Kung dati nahihiya akong lumabas ng banyo na nakikita niya ngayon rumarampa at nagbibihis pa ako sa harap niya. Thats how comfortable I was. Ilang beses na akong nakita niya na naka bra at panty lang pero wala siyang ginagawa sa akin. Like wala talaga.
But until now, walang idea ang mga pamilya namin na we were living in the same place. Ayokong sabihin sa kanila kase baka anong isipin nila sa akin. Im already at the right age pero iba pa rin kase kung ganito yung set up. Especially for our case, hindi naman kami.
I tried moving slowly pero mas hinigpitan niya yung yakap niya sa akin. "Stay, Mikz." Hay, Kief. Pinapahirapan mo ko.
Instead of getting off the bed, yeah, I stayed. I hugged him. Tight. I was tempted to kiss him. Ang lapit ng mukha namin sa isat isa. But pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. It shouldnt be me ang mag iinitiate kung magkikiss man kami ulit.
Ulit. Yes. Ulit. We already kissed. Several times already. Hmm. Everyday pala. Pag umaalis siya. Umaalis ako. After niya ko ihatid. Pagsinusundo niya ako. But words were still remained unspoken. Our mouths were still shut on whats really the score between the two of us.
Its saturday again. I love saturdays kase nakakasama ko siya buong araw. Inseperable nga daw sabi ng bullies. Transparent kase kami sa kanila. Nakikita nila kung pano kami sa isat isa. We needed not to filter our movements, after all they are our friends.
"I love you, Mikz.", my eyes grew wide. Nananaginip lang ba toh? "I said, I love you. Very much."
I froze. Sinong hindi? The unspoken words, it has been said. Pero baka kase nananaginip lang ang lalakeng to.
"Matagal na.", he opened his eyes. Confirm, gising siya and he wasnt dreaming.
"Nasa UAAP palang tayo, gusto na kita. Pero minahal kita ngayon lang. Nung nagkita ulit tayo. Sorry if I wasnt able to stop my feelings. Ang hirap kase. Sobra. Yung feeling na yung babaeng pinapangarap mo,nakikita at inaalagaan mo. Sorry, Mikz."
I kept silent. I didnt know what to say.
"Pasensya na. Ill accept it kung magagalit ka at isipin mong I took advantage. Pero, Mikz. Hindi ko na kayang hindi sabihin. Ive been trying to tell several times pero hindi ko kaya. Ngayon lang ako ngkalakas ng loob."
