Our Heartaches Remedy

14

“He’s your what?”

“My boyfriend,”

“You mean, you are in a relationship with Javi?” it was my mom who asked.

“What are you saying-” tumigil sa pagsasalita si daddy nang may ma-realize. He glanced at our intertwined hands. “May relasyon kayong dalawa?”

“Opo, dad,” I bravely said.

“Totoo ba ‘yon, Javi?” tumingin si daddy kay Javi na ngayon ay kulang na lang mahimatay.

“Ano po kasi Tito,” he bit his bottom lip. He sighed and nodded repeatedly. “Opo. May relasyon po kami ni Mayi. Matagal ko na pong gusto si Mayi at mahal ko na po siya. Sana po payagan niyo kami,”

Hearing him say those words was enough for me to be braver to face my parents. Hindi man halata pero kinakabahan din ako. It was also my first time to actually introduce someone as my boyfriend.

“That’s...” huminga ng malalim si daddy. “Very shocking. But nonetheless, I’m glad that it’s Javi.”

Parehas kaming natigilan sa narinig na parang hindi makapaniwala sa kaniyang sinabi. Sinubukan ko pang kuritin ang sarili para lang malaman kung sinabi ba talaga ‘yon ni daddy o na-misheard ko lang.

“Mas gumaan ang loob ko na kay Javi ka nahulog. Panatag akong nasa mabuti kang kamay,” ngumiti sa ‘kin si daddy.

“I agree with your dad. I'm glad that you found your heart to someone closest to you and to us. Alam ko naman na kahit pilyo si Javi, hindi ka niya sasaktan. Am I right, Javi?” my mom turned to him.

“Opo, Tita! Hindi ko po kayang saktan si Mayi!”

Abot-langit ang aking saya sa mga narinig. I knew that my parents would have nothing to say if I started having a relationship with Javi. Kagaya ko, kilala din nila si Javi.

“You are still young and still have a long way to go. Sana hindi maging hadlang ang pag-ibig niyo sa isa’t-isa sa mga pag-aaral at pangarap niyong dalawa.” pag-advice sa ‘min ni daddy. “Maaasahan ko ba kayong dalawa diyan?”

“Yes, sir!” sumaludo pa si Javi.

He looked like he had finally loosened up. Nagpaalam muna ako kay daddy na kakausapin ko lang muna si Javi at buti na lang pumayag. Mabilis kong niyakap si Javi sa sobrang tuwa. I can’t believe that I have finally told them the truth and I no longer have to keep things from them.

Pinagsiklop ni Javi ang kamay namin at marahang sinayaw ‘yon. Nakangiti na siya ngayon hindi tulad kanina na papunta na mahimtay ang mukha sa sobrang pamumutla. Parehas kaming nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan.

“See? Hindi ka susuntukin ni dad,” I chuckled.

Tumawa rin siya at hinila ako ng yakap. Niyakap ko rin siya pabalik. This is the best gift ever! I consider this day as one of the happiest days of my life.

“May relasyon kayo?”

Kumawala kami sa yakap nang biglang magsalita si Kim. Lumabas sa likod ng pedicab si Jayson at Greg. Kanina paba sila nandiyan?! Naglakad sila palapit sa ‘min. There was something in Kim’s aura that screams... anger.

“Kailan pa?” tanong ulit ni Kim.

“Noong pasukan,” ako na ang sumagot.

Mukhang nagulat din ‘yung dalawa at hindi makapaniwala. Kung hindi pa-oa ay nakatabon pa talaga ang kamay sa bibig! Gusto kong mag-explain pero nagulat na lang ako ng biglang kwelyuhan ni Kim si Javi. Mabilis siyang inawat ni Greg at Jayson.

“Sige suntukin mo ‘ko,” Javi challenged him.

Napatakip ako sa bibig nang suntukin nga niya si Javi! I hurriedly went to Javi to check up on him. When I saw blood on the side of his lips, I couldn’t help but hit Kim on his chest.

“Bakit mo ginawa ‘yon?!” galit na sigaw ko sa kaniya pero nanatili ang mata niya kay Javi.

“’Di ba sabi ko sa’yo susuntukin kita pag nalaman kong tinatalo mo ‘tong si Mayi.” seryosong sabi niya.

He was so far from the Kim I knew. Hindi ko alam na may ganito pala siyang side! He had always been the bubbly and joyful Kim.

“Amputa, sinuntok mo talaga ako?!” Javi retorted, wiping the blood on his lips.

“Wala kang kaya sa kaniya, p’re,” Greg chuckled.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Nagawa niya pang magbiro ng ganiyan! Tapos hindi man lang talaga nila hinawakan si Kim sa braso para pigilan! Iniisip ko tuloy kong umaacting lang ba sila o ano!

“Tangina, hindi nga ako sinuntok ng tatay, kasi ikaw pala susuntok sa ‘kin,” Javi spat.

“Hindi ka prepared?” Jayson joked,

“Saktan mo lang si Mayi kalimutan mo talagang magkaibigan tayo.” Kim said under his gritted teeth.

“A na A?! Hoy, tama na acting! Naniniwala na ako!” tinapik siya sa balikat ni Greg. “Linya ‘yan sa pinapanood mo ‘no?!”

“Sige badtripin mo pa lalo. Kapag ikaw sinuntok niyan, tatawanan talaga kita.” binantaan siya ni Jayson.

Galit na inalis ni Kim ang kamay ni Greg sa balikat at tinalikuran kami. I was glaring at him. Inimbahan ko ang bulto niyang papalayo kaya natawa si Greg at Jayson. Isa pa sila! Bumuntong-hininga si Javi at hinawakan ang kamay ko para pakalmahin.

Alam ko naman na sobrang nakakagulat ‘yon pero dapat ba na sunutukin niya si Javi?! I was so mad at Kim. Hindi ko siya pinansin kinabukasan noong magkaroon ng birthday dinner sa bahay. My mom wanted to hold my 18th birthday in a hotel just like any other debutant, but I refused.

I prefer to celebrate my special day with just the people I love. Kahit simple lang basta nandoon ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Aanhin ko naman kasi ang engrandeng selebrasyon kung hindi ko naman kilala ‘yung mga nandoon.

“Bago ‘yon, ah! Hindi kayo nag-agawan sa mango float,” ngumisi si Greg at natatawa pa kaming tinuro dalawa ni Kim.

Kim looked at me and raised his brow as if he was judging me or something. Pinantayan ko ang tingin niya. Hindi ko naman siya in-invite pero nandito siya!

“I didn’t invite you,” mataray na sabi ko sa kaniya.

“Ininvite ko sarili ko. Bakit?” maangas na sambit niya.

Greg started laughing at his remark, which earned a deadly glare from us. Gusto kong matawa ng sarkastiko. Hindi rin makapal ang mukha niya ‘no? The thin string of my patience was lost when Kim purposely nudged my shoulder as he walked past me. Kung hindi lang hinawakan ni Javi ang balikat ko para pigilan.

“You...” I gritted my teeth.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pinuputok ng butsi niya at galit na galit siya pagkakaroon ng relasyon namin ni Javi! Can't he just be happy for the both of us? Magkaibigan naman kami!

“Hayaan mo na. Pakalmahin mo na natin,” Javi tried to calm me down.

I tried to compose my breathing to calm down. Hinahaplos ni Javi ang buhok ko para tulungan din akong pakalmahin. Hindi pa rin magaling ang sugat sa gilid ng labi niya. Every time I see it, my blood boils and I just wanted to pull Kim’s hair until not single hair was left in his head. It infuriates me!

“Ngayon na may relasyon na kayo, ang corny niyo na sa paningin ko,” tumingin sa ‘min si Greg na parang nandidiri siya.

“Palibhasa inggetero ka,” Javi spat.

“Bakit ako maiingit? May akin naman ako,” he rolled his eyes heavenward. “Ulol! Pumapatol sa family!”

Bago pa siya masuntok ni Javi ay kumaripas na ito ng takbo. Inimbitahan ko rin Sandra at Chin kaya sinundo ko sila sa gate. Sandra immediately hugged me upon opening the gate.

“Happy birthday! My gosh, dalaga kana!” tili niya.

She was so loud in the night! Parang lahat ng natutulog sa barangay namin ay gumising dahil sa sigaw niya! Pero niyakap ko rin naman siya pabalik. She handed me a pink paper bag. Curious kong tinignan ang laman noon pero naka-stapler kaya I decided to just open it later.

“Pi birthday,” simpleng bati sa ‘kin ni Chin. Papunta na sa napipilitan!

Pero hindi naman siya si Chin kung hindi ganiyan ang pagkatao niya. I smiled and initiated the hug because I could see in her eyes that she was hesitating. Sus! Bakit nahihiya siya?! Para saan pa’t magkaibigan kami? Binigyan niya rin ako ng regalo.

Sinamahan ko sila kumuha ng pagkain dahil nahihiya kuno sila! Lihim akong napangiti nang makita na puno ng putahe ang plato ni Sandra. Nahiya pa siya, ha? Kumuha lang ng kanin at menudo si Chin bago umupo sa silya malapit kay Kim.

Nagkaroon ng karaoke at syempre bumida si Sandra dahil si Jollibee siya! Maganda naman ‘yung boses niya kaya nagustuhan siya ng pamilya ko. She was easy to get along with. Napaka-extrovert kasi. Hindi mapapansin ang laway kakasalita.

“Sorry guys, ha! Ako lang kasi ‘to,” Sandra playfully covered her face with the microphone when she scored 98.

My debut became memorable for me because of my friends. Naramdaman ko ang paghawak ni Javi sa kamay. Nasa garden kasi kami kaya malamig. His hands were cold as he intertwined with mine’s.

Since our relationship is now finally out and both legal to our parents, we are free to do things publicly unlike before but of course, with limitations.

“Happy birthday.” He had to whisper it in my ears because of the loud music.

“Wala kang regalo?” pabirong sabi ko.

“Mamaya na,” he smirked.

I’m not really a materialistic person. But when someone gives me something, I can’t help but feel so much ecstasy. I believe that when someone gives you a gift, it means they exert an effort to buy you something that reminds them of you. It's hard to give gifts to someone! It really makes me feel appreciated.

Kapag may taong nagbigay sa ‘kin, pinapahalagan ko talaga ‘yon. I kept them because they have a sentimental value in my life.

Bumaling ako kay Sandra nang mapansin na kanina pa pala siya nakatingin sa ‘min ni Javi. Her eyes, then, diverted to our intertwined hands before rendering it to my gaze and arched a brow. She gave me a “what is it” look.

I inwardly sighed. Sigurado akong magiging mala-panelist siya mamaya kakatanong sa akin. Hinanda ko na ang sarili para mamaya. Kilala ko pa naman ‘tong si Sandra.

“Ano ‘yung nakita ko ha? Bakit kayo naglalandian? May relasyon ba kayo? Kailan pa?!” sunod sunod na tanong ni Sandra.

Ayan na nga ba.

I couldn’t help but sighed heavily at her series of questions. Nilalakad ko siya sa kanto dahil uuwi na. Si Francine naman ay umalis kasama si Kim. She already knew about our relationship, and she didn’t react as much as Sandra did. Siya lang tala itong oa kung maka-react!

“Sumagot ka! Malanding ‘to! Akala ko ba brother and sister lang?! Incest, ganoon?” she said, mocking my voice from that moment.

Well, hindi ko rin naman alam na mahuhulog ako sa kaibigan ko! It’s not like I planned it! It just happened!

“So, kailan lang?” tanong niya ulit.

“Noong pasukan lang,” I admitted.

“Hah! Tama nga ako na may something na kayo nung enrollment pa lang! Ilang days o month ka niya niligawan?”

Tumingala ako para mag-isip. I don’t remember Javi courting me. Sinabi ko lang na mag-jowa na kami kahit parang pinilit ko pa siya nung una. Hindi ko na lang sinabi ‘yon kay Sandra dahil baka asarin niya lang ako.

“Hindi naman namin kailangan magligawan pa. We've known each other for a long time,” sabi ko.

Ang purpose naman ng panliligaw, sa pagkakaalam, ko ay para makilala ng babae ang isang lalake. Bakit pa kami magliligawan kung matagal na namin kilala ang isa’t-isa, ‘di ba?

She stopped, so I stopped too. Facing me with crossed arms, she shook her head in disappointment.

“Hindi ka man lang nagpakipot at talaga pumayag ka kaagad! Mas malandi ka pa sa ‘kin!” kinurot niya ang bewang ko.

“Bakit naman ako magpapakipot, eh, kilala ko naman buong pagkatao ni Javi!” I defended myself.

She made a face and continued walking so I immediately kept up with her pace. Medyo nagtampo pa siya sa ‘kin kung bakit hindi ko raw sinabi sa kaniya, eh, magkaibigan naman kami. Ipinaliwanag ko naman kaagad ‘yung reason ko. I didn’t mean to keep it a secret to them. I just wanted to keep our relationship secret for the meantime pero sasabihin ko naman talaga sa kanila.

“Hindi rin naman ako nagtaka na naging kayo. Baka mas magtaka pa ako kapag hindi naging kayo! I could already sense your friend had a crush on you. Hello? Kung paano ka pa lang niya titigan, malalaman mo na kaagad ‘yon,”

Napakunot tuloy ang noo ko. I reminisce about those times that I still haven’t formed any romantic feelings for Javi. Iniimagine ko kung paano niya ako titigan pero wala talaga akong makitang malisya doon, eh. All I could see in his eyes was a care he had for just a friend.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m comfortable with him or used to him being like that. Mahirap naman kasi bigyan ng malisya ‘yung isang bigay kung una pa lang alam mong ginagawa niya lang ito dahil kaibigan ka niya or mabait siya.

“Akala ko nga manhid ka para hindi mo makita ‘yon o nagtatangan ka lang.” she laughed after inwardly insulting me.

Kumaway ako kay Sandra nang makasakay na siya. Pabiro niya pa akong inirapan pero tinawanan ko lang siya. Hinintay ko munang mawala siya bago ako umalis doon. The cold air started brushing against my small body. Manipis ang suot kong damit kaya tumagos ang lamig sa balat ko.

A smile formed on my face as I caught sight of the gentleman who possessed a remarkable ability to manipulate my emotions. Oa na kung oa pero habang naglalakad siya papalapit sa ‘kin ay tumitigil ang oras. You know that feeling when you watch a movie and everything seems to stop? I felt that as I stared at him.

The light from the post shines through his complexion, highlighting his features. May hawak siyang kung ano sa kamay niya at hindi ko mahagilap ‘yon ng maayos dahil sa dilim.

“Bakit kayo umalis agad? May kinuha lang ako sa bahay saglit,” sabi niya pagkalapit sa ‘kin.

His usual scent lingers in my nose. He really smells like a baby. Well, he is my baby! Pilya tuloy akong napangiti sa naisip ko. Kailan pa ako naging corny?! Puzzled and wondered was evident on Javi’s face as he stared at me smiling on my own. He had that “nababaliw na ba ’tong babaeng ‘to” look on his face.

Walang pasabi at niyakap ko na lang siya. I tiptoed due to his height, so he adjusted and bent his back slightly for me to wrap my arms around his neck, with his other hand supporting my waist.

“Clingy ang birthday girl,” he chuckled.

Hindi ko pinansin ang pang-aasar niya at mas lalo lamang siyang niyakap. We were like that for a couple of minutes before we pulled away from each other. Parehas kaming nagulat nang bigla na lang namatay ‘yung ilaw sa poste.

“Tara na. Natatakot na ako,” bulong ni Javi at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

Natawa tuloy ako pero nagpahila din naman sa kaniya. Nagkakarindikit pa kami habang naglalakad. Dahil sa init na hatid ng palad niya ay nawala ng gaano ang lamig na naramdaman ko. Wala kang maririnig sa paligid kundi mga kuliglig at yabag namin.

“Hindi mo pa binibigay ‘yung regalo mo,” I said to start a conversation.

“Ay oo nga pala,” sabi niya nang maalala at inabot sa ‘kin ang kanina niya pang hawak.

It was a notebook sized canvas which had my face in it. Guhit ito sa lapis at hindi ko mapigilan ang mamangha. It was so beautiful! I glanced at Javi, who was already staring at me intently, observing my reaction to his gift. Niyakap ko ulit siya sa sobrang tuwa.

My heart jumped in so much happiness. Hindi ito ang unang beses na ginuhit niya ako pero ‘yung tuwa ko ay parang unang beses niya itong ginawa sa ‘kin. Hindi ko masabi ang nararamdaman ko. I was so euphoric that night.

I hung the artwork above my desk, making it the first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning. It was a great way to start the day! Palagi tuloy akong motivated!

Na-delay ‘yung alis ni dad kaya sabay pa kaming nagsimba. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o mahihiya nang magsimulang magtawagan bilang balae si mommy at Tita Linda! Hinayaan ko na lang dahil doon naman sila masaya.

Sa Monday ‘yung alis ni daddy at hindi ko na siya naabutan dahil madaling araw ang alis niya. It was so sad because I hadn’t bid goodbye to him. Tinawagan ko lang siya nung paggising ko. As usual, I went to school with my friends. Napawi na ‘yung galit ko kay Kim but that doesn’t mean I forgot about what he did.

Parang kami pa ’yung magkaaway dahil nag-aakbayan na sila Javi at Kim! What a traitor! Tumabi sa 'kin si Greg na akala ko ay ico-comfort ako pero aasarin lang pala ako!

“May kaagaw kana,” he whispered and had this playful smile on his lips.

My eyebrows shot up. I didn't understand what he meant, so he pointed to Javi and Kim, who were standing very close to each other. Hindi pa nakuntento at nilapit pa talaga ni Javi ang mukha kay Kim. Sa isip ko parang sumisipsip siya kay Kim.

“Huwag ka pakampante diyan, Mayi,” ani Jayson sa pang-aasar na tono. “Hindi na uso ngayon ang babaeng umaahas,”

I just wanted to walk in peace, but it seems that universe had its own plan. Hindi nila ako tinantanan hanggang makarating kami ng campus. Intramurals na kasi at sa pilitan pa para sa kanila ang pumunta, kung hindi lang dahil sa attendance.

Itong si Greg naman, pipirma lang sa attendance sheet tapos aalis na raw siya. Madalas na ang pag-alis ng lalakeng ‘to!

“Sino na naman ‘yang bago mong inuuto?” Jayson asked, flashing a wry smile.

“Kilala niyo ‘ko guys,” Greg looked at us.

“Oo nga. Kilala ka namin,” tinaas baba ko ang kilay sa kaniya.

He rolled his tongue over his lower lip, his stares glistened in amusement at what I said. Inakbayan niya ako at siga pa kung maglakad na para bang inaaya niya makipag-away ang taong titingin sa mata niya. He inserted his hand into his pocket.

“Pero seryoso. Iba ‘to, eh. Akals ng tama ko doon.” He was grinning from ear to ear as he talked about the girl.

“Nakailang seryoso mo na ‘yan,” sabi pa ni Jayson.

Tumango ako, sumasang-ayon sa sinabi niya. Sa kanilang apat, si Greg ang masasabi ko ang malandi. Hindi lang talaga sa words pero pati sa actions. Iyon ang pagkakaiba nila ni Kim. Mas magaling lamang ito sa salita pero mahina sa gawa.

“Basta! Ibang-iba ‘to sa babaeng mga nakilala ko noon. One of a kind kumbaga!” giit niya pa.

I suddenly got curious about the girl he was into. Mukhang seryoso nga siya sa sinasabi niyang “seryoso” sa babaeng ito. It was different from how he expressed his feelings. Ito kasi ay makaasta kung sinong gwapo at kung sino-sino na lang ang nagiging babae!

Palagi akong naaaway sa mga babae niya dahil sa pagiging “girl best friend” ko kuno! As if it was my fault that Greg chose me over them?! Kapag nalalaman kong may nilalandi sila, kaagad akong dumidistansya dahil baka sa susunod ay hindi na sa social media ako awayin, at talagang personal na!

Nanood lang kami ng laro ni Kim at interpretative dance ni Sandra. Nanalo si Kim kaya masayang-masaya ang loko. Tumambay muna kami sa gym dahil maya-maya may foam party naman ang magaganap.

“Wala bang congrats diyan?” He was drying his wet hair with his white towel, arching a brow at me.

Tinaasan ko rin siya ng kilay at hindi nagpatalo. Hindi naman ako ma-pride na tao. At naiintindihan ko naman na inaalala niya lang kami ni Javi pero hindi naman kasi tama ‘yung ginawa niya. Pwede naman makipag-usap na lang, hindi ‘yung namimisikal!

But, at the end of the day, he is my friend. Hindi ko naman siya matitiis. His eyes seemed to bore into my thoughts, and a small smile slowly transformed into a mischievous smirk on his lips. Lumapit siya sa ‘kin at inakbayan ako.

“Ang lagkit ng katawan mo!” reklamo ko pero mas lalo niya lamang nilapit ang mukha ko sa katawan niya habang tumatawa.

He was being Kim again! If looks could kill he was probably now lying down bathing with his blood because of my deadly glares. Puno ng pawis ang katawan niya dahil galing lang ito sa laro.

“Tama na ‘yan! Nagseselos na ako!” Javi said in a monotone voice.

He then playfully pulled me away from Kim. Mabilis naman nasira ang mukha ng mga kaibigan ko na para bang nanonood sila ng isang cringe movie. Umalis kami ni Javi doon at naglakad-lakad.

As the sun set in the sky, cauliflower-shaped clouds scattered across the horizon. The warm, orange glow from the sky bathed our skin without the slightest hint of burning. Every time I gazed upwards, the breathtaking sky never ceased to fill me with a sense of wonder and amazement.

“Hey!” mabilis kong tinakpan ang mukha nang mapansin na kinukuhanan na pala ako ni Javi ng picture.

A smile touched the corner of his mouth as he glimpsed his phone. I hurriedly went to him and tried to snatch his phone away, but he overpowered Flash and quickly raised it out of my reach. Sinubukan kong kunin ‘yon at tumalon pero dahil binayaan ako ng paa na parang Shih Tzu, nabigo ako.

“Akin na! Ilalagay mo na naman ‘yan sa story mo, eh!” singhal ko sa kaniya at sinubukan ulit abutin ang phone.

“Bakit? Cute ka naman sa mga story ko ah?” he laughed.

Noong birthday ko kasi nagising na lang ako tinag niya na ako sa story niya! Ang pangit pa ng mukha ko doon!

My hand was placed on his chest and the other one was trying to reach for his phone. Malaki ang ngiti niya na para bang nasisiyahan siyang makita akong nahihirapan na maabot ito. He was just standing with his hand in his pocket. ‘Yung isa, nasa ere at hawak ang phone.

Sometimes I felt like he was just my friend and not my boyfriend! Napaka-bully masyado!

Huminto din naman ako nang makaramdam ng pagod. Tumingkayad ako at mas lalong nilapit ang mukha sa mukha niya. His brow shot up from my sudden move. Buti na lang talaga at wala masyadong tao sa pwesto kung nasaan kami kasi busy ang lahat sa mga booth.

“Makuha ka sa tingin,” I said as if I was hypnotizing him with my stares.

He bit his lower lip and eyes twinkled in amusement. His hand moved from his pocket to my cheeks and pinched it. “Nakuha na, pero hindi ko ibibigay,” tapos kumaripas ng takbo kaya mabilis kong hinabol.

We were like kids running in a circle around the park. Huminto lang nang makaramdam ng pagod. We sat down and both tried to catch our breathing.

I was wiping my forehead, neck, and nape because it was sweating a lot from running earlier. Javi, on the other hand, waggling his clothes. Basa na rin ito sa pawis. I scooted over him to wipe the sweat tricking down his face. He just gave me a soft smile.

We stayed there for a few minutes to rest and to cool down before going back to the gym. The court was already crowded when we arrived. Nahirapan tuloy kaming hanapin ‘yung mga kaibigan. Ang lakas pa ng tugtog.

The sky was already dark. They replaced the lights with rainbow colors, making it feel like we were in a club, similar to what I’ve always seen in the movies. Nagsisimula na rin sumayaw ang mga estudyante!

They were ecstatic, as if it was their first time going out in their entire lives! Todo kapit ako sa braso ni Javi habang naglalakad kami para hanapin ang mga kaibigan. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang may magsimulang mag-twerk doon!

I narrowed my eyes at Javi when I caught him staring at the girl. He quickly averted his gaze and pretended that he was still looking for our friends. “Saan na ba ‘yung mga ugaok na ’yon?” he even said.

I rolled my eyes. Hindi naman ako insecure dahil malaki ang tiwala ko kay Javi at malaki rin ang kompyansa ko sa sarili ko. My parents raised me to live my life with confidence. Hindi ako naniniwala sa tinatawag nila na may ”mas” maganda sa ‘tin. I believe that we are all equally beautiful in our own different ways.

No one is “more” to anyone so, we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to them. Walang kulang sa atin kung marunong tayong makuntento. If only people knew that what they have is already a gift and a blessing from the heavens. Hindi dapat dine-define ang beauty ng isang tao sa society kasi lahat naman tayo ay may kaniya-kaniyang anyo and those differences what make us unique and beautiful.

Sumuko na rin kami sa paghahanap sa kaibigan dahil kanina pa kami palakad-lakad sa tila dagat na mga tao. Hindi ko rin mahanap sila Sandra at Chin. Saan naman kaya napunta ‘yung mga ‘yon?

“Doon nga tayo,” Javi held my waist and guided me to the corner. Ang dami kasing bumabangga sa ‘min habang naglalakad. Tapos ang liit ko pang tao kaya madali lang para sa kanila na banggain ako.

Everybody was dancing synchronizing to the beat of the music. May mga nagra-rap pa. Ang dami nilang ginagawa at nalulula na lang ako habang pinapanood sila. I signaled Javi to bend his body so I could whisper something in his ears, and he quickly obliged.

“Uwi na lang tayo,” I whispered.

Hindi natago sa mukha ko ang gulat nang bigla siyang humarap sa akin at sobrang lapit na ng mukha namin. Just one misstep and our lips would be touching before we knew it. I noticed his eyes shifting from my gaze to my lips.

He cleared his throat and looked away, straightening his back. “Tara,”

Umalis na nga kami doon at hindi na hinintay ang “foam” sa sinasabi nilang foam party. Mukhang mamaya pa ‘yon pero gusto ko na umuwi. Hindi rin naman ako sumasayaw. Parang experience ko na lang din ‘yong kahit hindi buo.

We just walked on our way home. Bumili na lang din kami ng minute burger. Buti na lang bukas pa din ‘yung madalas namin binibilhin. Javi helped me sit down on their barstool because it was too high for my height. I even saw him stifling his smile.

Tinaas ba nila ‘yung upuan nila o sadyang lumiit lang ako? Napanguso ako sa sobrang inis.

“Lang,” tawag sa ‘kin ni Javi.

“Hmm?”

“Curious ako. Kaya siguro minute burger tinawag nila kasi minuto lang naluluto ‘yung burger. So, kapag, oras, e’di hour burger na ‘yon?” He had a serious expression on his face as he asked me his foolish question.

I covered my face with my arm, feeling secondhand embarrassment from Javi as the woman laughed at his random question. Mahal ko si Javi pero minsan gusto ko na lang i-stapler ang bibig niya!

May mga tanong siya na pang-out of the world! May isang beses na tinanong niya ako kung bakit raw Mr. Bean ang pangalan ni Mr. Bean. Dating munggo ba daw ito sa past life niya.

“Love, please,” my voice was almost pleading.

“Curious lang, eh!”

The past few days went by so quickly. Next week na ‘yung exam namin sa second quarter. Hindi nga ako makapaniwala na ang bilis lang ng oras!

“Ano ba kasi ‘yung surprise mo? Bakit may pa-surprise? Birthday ko ba?” sunod-sunod na tanong ni Javi nang hilahin ko siya papunta sa kwarto.

I just gave him a cute smile and forced him to come with me. As usual, mag-isa lang ako sa bahay dahil nasa trabaho si mommy tapos si daddy naman nasa Palawan. Christmas is nearing and I think we will be celebrating it without him. Nakakalungkot nga kasi first time ‘yon na hindi kami magkakasama tatlo.

“Charan!” I stretched my arms wide open to show him my computer. His brows furrowed, not getting any single thing. Umirap ako at hinila ulit siya para paupuin sa gaming chair at pinakita sa kaniya ang screen ng computer ko.

“Dinownload ko ‘yung palagi mong nilalaro. The DOTA2 and ros or whatever that is,” sabi ko.

“Bakit?” He looked confused.

I beamed. “Para dito ka na lang maglaro kasama ko kaysa doon!”

‘Di ba ang talino ko? Tuwing may pasok lang kasi kami nagkakasama dahil busy siya sa mga laro niya! Wala naman akong magawa dahil masaya naman siya kaya ito na lang ‘yung naisip kong paraan.

Buong magdamag ko pa itong dinownload! Ang lalaki pala ng GB noon! Lalo na ‘yung DOTA. I urged Javi to start playing while I study in my bed. Walang pagdadalawang-isip naman siyang tumugon. Napangiti na lang din ako habang pinagmamasdan siyang nag-eenjoy maglaro.

If he’s happy, I’m happy as well. Hinihinaan niya naman ‘yung boses niya habang naglalaro dahil alam niyang nag-aaral ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na ang dumaan basta bigla na lang tumigil si Javi sa paglalaro at tumabi sa ‘kin.

I was holding onto my notebook, reading the summary I wrote a few days ago, while my back was resting on the headboard. Suddenly, Javi crawled under the notebook I was holding and rested his head on my chest, just like a baby.

“Are you done?” tanong ko nang hindi binababa ang notebook.

He simply nodded and embraced my waist. I laughed as he buried his face in my neck, giving me a ticklish sensation.

“Stop!” I tried to stop him, but he just won’t stop.

He playfully tickled my body, and I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably. He was on top of me, holding both of my hands with his other hand, and his mischievous fingers sent waves of ticklish sensations throughout my body.

“Javi!”

Tumigil din siya nung hindi na ako makahinga kakatawa. I scrunched my nose when he kissed my chin. He's suddenly being clingy! Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo dahil gusto ko rin naman ‘yon. Javi could be the most irritating person when he annoys me, but he could also be the sweetest person kapag naglalambing.

“I love you,” his voice was soft and gentle.

His captivating eyes held a mesmerizing power over me. Our faces were mere inches apart, with the potential for our lips to touch if either of us made a move. His intense gaze shifted from my eyes to my lips, licking his lower lip before looking away like he was having a battle with his inner self. 

In a sudden rush of emotion, I found myself instinctively reaching out and bringing his face closer to mine. Our lips brushed against each other. Hindi kami gumalaw at magkadikit lang ang labi sa isa’t-isa. I was feeling nervous because I didn't know what to do next!

A surge of slight pain shot through my body as Javi moved away, facing to the side, clenching his jaw and furrowing his brows.

“I’m sorry... hindi ko alam k-kumiss,” I admitted, biting my lips.

It was my first time, you know! Ang alam ko lang naman basta kiss ay naglalapat ang labi. When our lips met, it felt strange, as if there was something missing, and I was at a loss as to how to identify what it was.

From Javi’s serious expression, it changed into something... shy. His face suddenly turned red and he almost looked like a tomato! 

“Ako din naman,” he uttered, almost a whisper.

His face screams embarrassment because of his confession. Hindi ako tumawa dahil naka-relate ako. Hindi rin naman ako marunong kaya bakit ko siya pagtatawanan?!

“Anong gagawin natin ngayon?”

“Huh?”

I pursed my lips. “Should we uhm... watch something related to... kissing, or tanungin natin si Greg dahil magaling naman ‘yon sa mga ganoon... or si Sandra dahil marami din ‘yung ala-” before I could finish my sentence, Javi’s lips shut me up.

My eyes widened as he gently slid his tongue into my mouth. His hand, which had been resting at his side, moved to my face as he tilted his head to the side, probably adjusting his lips to deepen the kiss. Nagulat ako na kaya niya pala ‘yung gawin!

I didn’t know what to do so I closed my eyes and followed the rhythm of his lips. Nang hindi makahinga ay doon lamang naglayo ang aming labi. We were both panting as we tried to catch our breath without taking our eyes off each other. My heart was beating so fast and loud against my chest that I almost thought I would have a heart attack.

He licked his lower lip and was about to say something when he heard someone’s voice. Parehas nanlaki ang mata namin.

“Mayi!” my mom shouted downstairs.