I Can't Even Concentrate

13

Demi's POV

It's been another few weeks and today is Valentine's Day. I didn't really want to do anything because I'm so uncomfortable, but Odell really wanted to do something so I sucked it up and got ready even if I felt terrible and insecure.

"You look gorgeous." I hear Odell say and I turn around and see him leaning against the threshold of the closet door.

"I look fat." I reply back as I put in my other earring and he rolls his eyes.

"No you don't." He responds as he walks up to me and I sigh heavily as I turn to look in the mirror. I was wearing a long sleeve black dress because it was still cold in New York. The dress was tight so you could clearly see my bump, but all I saw was extra fat. "You look stunning baby." He breathes out as he runs his hand along my hip and I take a deep breath as tears fill my eyes.

"I don't feel like it." I whisper with a small crack in my voice.

"Hey, don't cry." He says turning me around and wrapping his arms around me.

"I feel like a fucking elephant." I mumble in his chest. "I don't know why you're even with me. So many women would be lucky to have you." I then say sniffling as I pull away.

"Stop that Demi. I don't want any of them, I want you." He says trying to grab my hand, but I tug it away.

"I see all the DMs you get and how they look at you at games. They all want you and their fucking gorgeous." I continue as I walk around the closet. "And don't even get me started on all the great sex they could give you." I say as I huff.

"I don't care about that Demi." He says and I scoff.

"Yes you fucking do. I know it's fucking killing you to not have sex. You might as well just go out and get that relief you need." I reply shaking my head.

"Demi, seriously, stop." He says firmly and I look up at him. "I don't need sex to survive. Yes it's nice, but that's not what matters to me. If you want to wait, then we will wait. Simple. I'm not gonna be some ass and go out for a quick fuck just because you won't give it to me. I don't care about that, but the fact that you think that low of me shows me something about you. You think that's all I care about? If I did then I would have just hit it and quit it with you, but I didn't did I? I didn't fucking ghost you or just keep talking to you for more. If anything you did that shit. You agreed to go out, we had sex and then the next morning you tell me it's not gonna be anything other than that. So don't go accusing me of just caring about fucking." He rants out frustrated and I look the other way feeling bad. Also hurt because he kind of implied that I was a hoe.

"I don't want to go out anymore." I say quietly as I kick my heels off.

"Demi, come on. I already made the reservations." He says in an annoyed manner and I shake my head.

"No. I didn't even want to go out in the first place. Definitely not now either." I reply. "Can you go now? I want to change." I then ask him after he doesn't leave. He didn't respond, but I did hear him let out a long breath before leaving the room. I closed the door behind him before sliding out of my dress and changing back into what I'm comfortable in which was sweats. I felt a little bad because I knew he had planned a dinner, but I didn't want to do anything. I can barely stand on my feet for five minutes before they swell up and start hurting and my back is always aching now. I walk into the bathroom and I sigh heavily as I start taking off the makeup I had put on. It was the first time in over a month that I even did it because the thought just exhausted me lately. I then pull my hair up into a bun and go over to the bed before laying down and grabbing the remote to put something on. It was about an hour later when the bedroom door opened and I looked over to see Odell walking in the room. I tried to ignore him, but after he changed in the closet he walked up to me and I sighed heavily.