To whom this may concern,
Everyone always tells me, "Family is everything, to love them unconditionally, no matter how bad." If that's supposed to be the case, then why is it whenever I'm around them, I'm always left feeling so sad. You see, if family is supposed to be everything, doesn't that mean they should support me instead of mocking me for my fears and tribulations?? We're supposed to laugh and have fun, maybe celebrate when there's a big congratulations. Well, let me bring you in on a little secret my friends, it's not funny if you're the only one laughing.
Family isn't who you're born into, you see, it's the bond that you chose, not the blood that you lose...every time they break you down and rip you up. Make you feel like you always need to have the extra jump. Family isn't anxiety filled thoughts, screaming in your head to the point you wish you were dead, no it's the kind faces you meet, the ones who will be there for you even in your darkest feats. It's the strong supporting hands of people millions of miles away, who never knew they needed you, that make you feel worth the time of day. Family isn't who you're born into, it's the friends who guide you through life. Not the people who are the biggest cause of your strife.
"Oh well if you forgive and forget, it'll be easier to love them again." Bullshit. Drop those stupid misconceptions of a society era long since dead. It's time to build up new ones, time to look ahead. Family shouldn't be the reason you never want to climb out of bed, they should be the voices you look forward to hearing, on some stupid game involving a color and the dead. Something I wish someone told me sooner, family isn't the blood in your veins, it's the faces you see through life and learn to gain. Blood is weak, it's easily infected with toxic waste that will put you down right in your face, and then smile and pretend everything is okay.
To whom this may concern,
Thank you for being a stronger hand in my hour of need. Giving me a reason to keep my head up, instead of sobbing down on my knees. Without you, gods know where I might be. Thank you for being the bond I chose, instead of the family I so easily lose. For being that kind face, when my mind starts to slip in that not so fun, dark space. Thank you for giving me the strength in my bones, and the pride within my heart, and helping me not end up like the next john doe.
Family is the bond you chose to keep close to your heart, not the neglectful, two faced, abusive, narcissistic piece of shit who gave you birth, that never wanted you from the start. Honestly, what did you have to gain from telling me that? Is your ego so high, that you feel the need to step on someone till they're laid out flat? Generational pain is strong and thriving within that one, but you can bet your ass it'll die outright with this one.
No more will I be haunted by your misconceptions of what you think a family should be, because clearly you need a long sit-down and a rethink. No more will I chose the blood that will eventually kill me if I listen to it anymore. I chose life! I chose to explore! So, give me those bright horizons, and spark that flame within my heart, because it's withering away and slowly dying out to the dark. At least there is some slight comfort in knowing, that through my pain and suffering, will come out some decent works of art.
YOU ARE READING
Collections of The Soul
PoetryA series of poem collections I've written over the years. Writing has always been a form of coping for me, so some of these have trigger warnings.
