Jinxes and curses

Chapter 13; In which everything went downhill

Lily's POV

"Pass me the jam?" I asked. Regulus took it and handed it to me. "Thanks." He still hadn't said anything to me and I decided not to make too big of a deal out of it.

Apparently, he had been willing to talk to Remus. I bet that would've been different had he known about.. well, Remus. I sometimes felt these raging anger waves towards him and his stupid family. I would even like Sirius better. At least he didn't follow those stupid rules.

And most other Slytherins were too stupid to follow them, too. There was this group of people acting weird all the time. They were basically a ecult.

I was walking to the library when I noticed a certain trio in an abandoned hallway. I stood by the corner. They weren't alone, there were two other guys. I sneaked up upon them.

Of course it were James, Peter and Sirius. There was a boy crouched to the wall, and another in front of him. I walked closer towards them. It were Regulus and Severus?

"Sirius, stop that.. nonsense." Regulus spoke in his middle- class voice. Sirius just grinned. James put a langlock jinx on Regulus. I took out my wand and shouted, "Impedimenta!"

"Why don't you go and take in some other person that's the same age as you, huh?"

"We are," Peter grinned. "Fuck off," I spat, "sincerely." I cursed Peter with a petrifying curse and took Regulus' hand. I stared at Severus for a split moment. I didn't know what curse they'd used, so I muttered, "infinite," and hoped it'd work. It did.

I yanked Regulus' arm and went away before Sirius would go after me. I just assumed he wouldn't. When we were around the corner, I let go of his hand and attempted to whisper, whilst actually everyone could still hear it, "Are you crazy?!"

I walked away for a bit, then turned myself back. "Okay. I'm sorry. Shouldn't- shouldn't have said that. Right." Then I figured he still had his langlock jinx and I performed the counterjinx .

"Thanks." He whispered. My eyes lit up. I smiled. Then I turned away and went off to the library. In the good mood that I was, I'd forgotten that Mary and Marlene weren't coming. I didn't know why, but it didn't bother me. I finished all my work in the nick of time. After that, I put on a warm jacket and went out for a walk.

I sat by the fire one night with Remus. Spring was slowly unfolding, so outside it was wet everywhere and it rained non- stop. I asked him, "Why do you think James and Sirius bother us less? In first year we were all that was on their mind. Now? I haven't heard from them in.. too long, if you ask me."

Remus shrugged. I knew he hadn't listened to what I'd been saying. I ignored him and tried to go back to reading my book. I couldn't get into the vibe anymore and thus I stood up and went off to bed.

I thought about it all night, and came to the conclusion of what might be possible reasons as to why we aren't as interesting anymore.

1. They'd found something better to do,
2. They'd found someone else to bother,
3. They were planning something BIG.

I suspected the first one was nonsense and was probably right by thinking so.

I went on to study more and more, to keep myself from thinking of anything else. I found myself lost in every book there was to be found about every single detail about every homework assignment or subject discussed in class. My marks got higher, yet my sleep got less.

Whenever I went to bed, I stayed up for hours, thinking about whatever and more. Nothing would help. I even gave in to going to Madame Pomfrey to ask for help.

And after I would've finished everything for school, I would drown myself in healing spells. Healing spells and potions. Jinxes that could prevent anyone from hurting another.

In fact, I got so lost in them that one day, I was reading, and flicked a page, I forgot what I had read. I went back through the book, I couldn't remember a simple thing.

I would go up to my dorm and shut myself in. I would bury my head in my knees and sit like that for a long, long time. Afterwards, I could never remember what I'd been thinking about, it was like waking up from a dreamless night, except you'd be more exhausted instead or rested.

At home, I found nothing was going better. I wouldn't say my home situation was really bad, I had a loving family, but my sisters spite for me kept growing. I sometimes sent her letters, asking for forgiveness, but also just informing her of anything and everything.

I never got an answer.

That was, until spring break.

Almost no one had stayed at Hogwarts. Which was surprising. Me, Remus and Marlene were there, at least, and I was relieved to know the Gryffindor boys were gone. From both the school and hopefully my mind too, even if it were only for a week.

The house tables in the great hall had disappeared, and instead there was one single table left for everyone, it weren't many people, to sit on. I hadn't known where Remus was. He probably slept in. I didn't care, it was a holiday, he had every right to. Maybe I'd bring him breakfast if he were lucky. He was always lucky.

Me and Marlene were enjoying breakfast when suddenly an owl came in. Because we all sat together, we couldn't figure whose it was at first, but it dumped a letter in my hands, and I only just managed to catch it.

It clearly said my name it Petunia's handwriting. I doubted wether to open it, but seeing as me and Marlene were I alone, I figured it didn't matter. I scanned through the letter.

If you'd ask me what it said, I couldn't for the life of me recall. All I remember is really bad words describing me and tears jumped in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away and went completely silent.

Marlene immediately knew something was off. "Lils?" She asked. "Are you okay?" I nodded my head, but immediately threw myself in her chest. She didn't move for a second or so. Then she awkwardly patted my back.

"It's -uhm, okay." I felt she didn't know what she was doing, and I didn't care.

She sat me upright and shuffled closer, then put her arms around me and stroked my back while shushing. I didn't cry. I didn't say anything and neither did she. We simply sat at the breakfast table together, in silence, both aware of each other. And I felt more loved in that moment than ever.