Last Hope - (Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor)

BAD DREAM

TW : Anxiety, Abuse, Violence

Sarah POV :

"Hey hey hey, you have nothing to be sorry of honey. It's okay, everything's okay." I said trying to reassure her, but she was still feeling ashamed. I suggested her to sit on the couch next to me, so we could talk. She hesitated a few seconds but she eventually sat. I sat next to her and reached for her hand but she pulled away.

"It's okay Lizzie, it's normal to be scared, but your reaction before was totally normal, and I'm honestly quite happy that you let yourself being comforted."

Lizzie remained silent until she reached for my hand. I gratefully accepted it and I squeezed her tiny hand in mine.

"I- it's just that I usually don't let my... my feelings show ..."

"I understand sweetie, you learned to hide your emotions, but here you can show your feelings freely. You're safe, even if you feel like you have to cry, or to scream, you can. You can allow yourself to express freely what you're feeling. And Holland and I are never going to judge you."

"But you'll be angry at me if- if I scream or if I cry." She replied with tears forming in her eyes.

"No, never. We'll never be angry at you for anything, and even less for expressing your feelings. Tell me you understand that Lizzie." I answered.

"I do." She said with tears slowly streaming down her cheeks.

"And if you ever feel not comfortable with something, you have to say it."

"Okay." She simply answered. "Can... Can I have a hug ?" She then asked shyly.

"Of course." I said opening my arms. Lizzie placed herself on my lap and was tense at first, but she little by little let herself melt into my touch. I thought at this moment she might never have experienced human contact, so I promised myself I would give her as much love as she wanted.

After few minutes of cuddles, I looked down at her little face to realize that she was sleeping. I gently laid her on the couch and put a cover on her frail body. She moved a little but stayed asleep. Holland had already tidy up the kitchen so we just sat on armchairs around Lizzie to read a bit, until I saw the young girl moving a lot. At first I thought she was trying to find the right position to fall asleep again, but then I realized she didn't seem comfortable at all. I stood up and bent over her trying to read on her face, and all I could see was fear. I looked at Holland who figured out she might having a nightmare. I decided to wake her.

Lizzie POV :

'Sarah is kicking me hardly, I can feel blood streaming down my face. I see all red, and I'm in pain. Holland holds me to allow Sarah to kick me harder. I want to lose consciousness but I can see and feel everything that is happening. Sarah pulls my hair now, and hits my face with a book. The book that she was reading few minutes ago. Why did I allowed myself to open to her ? Now she hates me. She hits me even more and pulls my hair. Holland starts to strangle me and I can't breathe, but I can feel the pain all over my body until Sarah shakes me violently. She shakes me so badly that I started to lose consciousness, until...'

Until I found myself laying on the couch, Sarah above me, looking at me with tears in her eyes, and Holland softly stroking my cheeks. My breathing was heavy as I was holding my neck in pain. Sarah gently took my hands off of my neck because I was gasping for air.

"You just had a bad dream baby girl, but you're okay now." Sarah was talking to me but all I could hear was a distant voice. She then took my face in her hands to force me looking at her in the eyes.

"Look at me, please Lizzie look at me, I'm here, you're safe honey."

I slowly started to breathe normally and eventually calm down as Sarah was still holding my head and drawing circles on my cheeks with her thumbs.

When I was finally relaxed, she sat on the edge of the couch, allowing me to lay down again. Holland was sitting on the floor, stroking my hair.

"Can you tell us your dream ? What happened ?" Holland asked softly.