Last Hope - (Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor)

FOREVER

TW : Panic Attack, PTSD

Sarah POV :

I stood up and as Lizzie clung on me, I held her on my hip. It was easy because she was so light and little. I went out of the room and Holland and Helena were silent outside, waiting for me to return but when they saw Lizzie holding tight to me, they were a bit surprised.

"Helena, I want Lizzie to come back with us. And not for some times, but forever. I want to adopt Lizzie."

Holland looked at me, confused at first but then she went by my side.

"Yes, we want to take care of Lizzie as our own daughter, if that's possible." She said.

Helena sighed and looked down. Then, her eyes turned to Lizzie's head which was still on my neck. She was breathing slowly, but I could felt some sobs at some point.

"As I told you on the phone yesterday, you signed up to be temporary foster family. It's a very different kind of procedure, and it takes time. I can see that Lizzie is very committed to you both, but it's not my decision to take, sorry."

I looked at Holland, not knowing what to answer, and she was also speechless. But we were very surprised when it's Lizzie who spoke, still clung to me.

"But how did my parents, I mean, the people I left with today were able to become definitive foster family ! They were nothing but junkies ! Their place was minuscule and filled with other junkies which scared me do death ! I had to sleep in the same room than their weird drunk friends and my father... He's not even my father !" She was now crying, still hiding on me. I sat on a bench in the orphanage and held her on my lap while Helena was disabled.

"Don't make me go bake there, please ! I can't go back there... I can't..."

Lizzie was now hyperventilating and her fast breathing worried me.

"Shhhhh, you're okay, you're safe now with us. Nobody is going to make you go back there and everything will be fine. Just breathe sweetie, breathe." I tried to comfort her but it was no use, she was now totally panicking, and it was still difficult for me to handle her panic attacks, as they were usually very bad and impressive. So I took her face in my hands delicately and started stroking her cheeks. Her eyes were shut closed.

"Can you look at me ? It's just you and me."

"No ! NO ! Please don't hurt me, pleeeeaaaase !!" Her wailing were heartbreaking but I had to calm her down in order to have a proper talk about what we were going to do.

"Lizzie. Lizzie !" I knew she was lost and not with me anymore. She was in her bad memories, like the last time she had a PTSD crisis. She was thinking she was being hit, hurt, I don't know. But something bad, very bad.

"Elizabeth Micthell, it's Sarah. Sarah Paulson. I never hurt you before, and I won't never hurt you. It's me, you and me only. You're at the orphanage but I'll take you home as soon as you calm down. Please come back to me. Open your eyes and come back with me."

She started to steady herself and when she opened her eyes, she seemed lost.

"That's great sweetheart. Come back to me I'm here with you and I won't hurt you. Breathe. Just like that, you're doing very good." I reassured her. She was now far more calm and back with us.

"Now, Helena, I'll take Lizzie back to our house. That's not an option. You can clearly see she is in no state to stay with her parents or at the orphanage right now."

"But-" Started Helena.

"No. I won't negotiate, I'm sorry but if I have to use my fame to make you do the right thing, I will. I never did that in my life, but I swear I'll do it for Lizzie."

Helena didn't argue and I took Lizzie to our car. I sat in the backseat with her while Holland was driving. Her clothes and everything was at her 'parents' house but I had in mind to buy her new things as soon as she was ready to go out with me. The last time we talked, we were fighting, but I know we both didn't mean to be mad at each other and now, I promised myself I'll never make Lizzie go away again. She was going to stay with us until she is ready to leave her life by herself. But for now, she was only a young girl in need of care and a family to love her as she deserved.