ALL IN THE HEAD 1

ME AND MY SHADOW

Heading home after a long day in work, it's late and dark and I just wished I were already there. The streetlights are few and far between. I feel so tired, and I just constantly have to deal with being frustrated of late. Everything is catching up on me. Nothing good ever happens, well not to me anyway. I'm working a job I hate though I do have to make money somehow, not that my job pays all that much anyway.

It is all my own fault entirely really. I go and open myself a shop just as the recession was about to hit. Seven months after going into business, I had no choice but go and close it down. Had to sell the house, the wife left and took my son with her, and what I now call home is a shitty small, one room apartment, a place that somehow seems and feels darker than the street with which takes me back there.

'Hey' I hear a voice call out.

I look around but can't see anyone.

'Hey' I hear the voice call again, 'down here'.

I look down and see my shadow move from being before me to going behind me as I come close to the next street light. I briefly assumed that my shadow had said something; I look straight ahead of myself thinking not only do I need to start having some sort of life, but I also need sleep. I pass the street light and my shadow is once more on front of me.

'You want out, don't you?' I hear the voice ask or rather tell me.

It is my shadow. My shadow is talking to me. I'm losing it.

'You're my shadow, and there is no way you are talking to me' I say looking back upwards and straight ahead of me, still having a few more minutes until I get back to my own private little hell hole.

'We can help one another' it speaks again.

Things may not be easy at the moment, but I never thought my own mind would let me down and especially not like this.

'There is a war coming and we need you, you are a natural leader, you can become a general here easily.'

I begin to whistle trying to ignore the fact that my shadow is talking to me.

My shadow once again moves behind me, another street light is approaching.

'You have nothing to live for.'

I turn and look at the ground and answer my shadow.

'Nothing to live for? I have a lot to live for; I have a wife and son.'

'Your wife left you and took your son with her, and you don't need me to tell you about it, besides you will be doing this for them. You'll be fighting to save them.'

I began to run. I don't know why. It's not like I can just escape from my shadow. I get back to the apartment and go inside without turning on any of the lights. The little light there so happened to be still around, was coming from outside, quite a distance away though still shining through my one window.

'You know what you must do.'

It would appear that my shadow is still with me, my conversationalist, demanding shadow. I am sweating heavily, and it takes me a moment to catch my breath. With my both my hands I wipe the sweat from my forehead through my hair. I reach to close the curtains. I can feel a power, some kind of force of nature repelling me away from those curtains.

'Think about your son ...'

'What about my son?'

'You will be saving him, fighting for him; quickly, there is some rope under your bed.'

I tie a noose, set up the rope, and climb onto a chair ...