South Park X reader oneshots

New Kid || Pip X reader

Yeah you should already know but you are basically the new kid in school so ye-

(C/g) = care giver that I'm too lazy to give a name

Pip POV:

As I walked into living hell, everyone was talking in their usual friend groups. But I hovered most of them and they were talking about a new kid coming.

"Hey fattass, did you hear that a new kid is coming today?" Kyle said smirking at Cartman. "Oh course I do you fucking Jew! No one will shut up about it, damn!" Cartman said before walking off to class.

I slowly went to my locker and got my stuff for first period.

In class

"Okay so today, we will be getting a new student. Please come in and introduce yourself!" Mr/mis. Garrison said. (Idk what part ur at in the show so yeah take that-) "Hello, I'm (Y/n)," they said with a small smile. "Is that it?" Mr/miss. Garrison asked looking at them. "Yeah, I don't know what else to say," they said awkwardly looking at the ground. "Okay than go sit next to......... Pip. He has no friends so why not. Pip, please raise your hand." I raised my hand and they sat next to me. We both just smiled at each other and Mr/Miss. Garrison started the lesson.

After 1st period

"Hey Pip, hold up!" (Y/n) said making me stop. "Yeah?" I asked giving them a small smile. "Would you like to hang out at the park after school? The teacher said that you don't have many friend so I would like to be one! If that's okay with you of course," they said looking around avoiding eye contact. "Yeah sure, why not! I have nothing planned so how about around 4? I get off the bus at like 3:30 so I can just walk when I get off!" I said happily. "That sounds great!" they said with a wide smile. I grinned and than we both walked off our separate ways.

After school brought to you by fattass

I got everything from my locker and walked onto my bus. When I got on, I pulled out my phone and texted my current care giver. (If you forgot his parents are dead)

You: hey I'm going to the park with a friend when I get off the bus

(C/g): yeah that's fine, but don't take too long! You can bring them over and I'll make some brownies, I'll text you when they're done

You: okay, thanks!

I finished as the bus got to my stop. "NOW MOVE IT, WERE ALREADY LATE!" she yelled as I jumped off than sped away.

-

When I got to the park, they were already sitting there on a bench. I walked up and sat next to them. "Hi again," I said as they looked up at me. "Hello!" they said back.

"I never have a proper introduction yet, I'm sorry! I'm Philip, but people call me Pip, because they hate me!" I said as a small bush grew on my face. "Than I will call you Philip, because I don't hate you!" they said as my blush became darker. I paused than started smiling like crazy.  "O-oh wow, thanks!" I stuttered out.

"Mhm! So, what are you planning to do?" they said as they looked away at the playground with all the tiny children playing. "I don't know, my current care giver said that they are making brownies for us and will text me when they're done," I said as I started to swing my legs. "Cool, I like brownies! Wait, why did you say care giver instead of mom, dad, or parent"they asked as the children kept playing. "Well, you see, my parents are uhhh.... dead-" I said looking back at them. "Oh my god I'm so sorry!" they said and hugged me. I froze, but soon hugged back. As they pulled away I said, "T-thanks I really n-needed that." I could feel my face becoming red again.

"Hey, I think I know one of those kids! You know Kyle right?" I asked looking at one of one of the kids. "Yeah, I think so, why?" (Y/n) asked looking back at all the tiny deamons running around. "Well he has a little brother named Ike, and I think I see him!" I said pointing to the kid. "I didn't know he had a little brother! In fact, I think I see Kyle over there on the swing on his phone!" they said smiling. "Oh yeah, that is him! Wait, we better not go talk to him, Cartman is next to him," I said shrieking at the name. "Hm, why? Who's Cartman?" they questioned. "Oh wow you haven't heard yet? He's probably the most evil person you will ever meet, like you would ever want to anyway," I said as my phone dinged.

(C/g): the brownies only have five minutes left so go ahead and start coming home with you new friend!

You: alright, where on our way

I than put my phone back in my pocket and said, "The brownies are done, want to start to get going?" "Yeah sure!" they said as we both stood up.

Time skip brought to you but Kyle kicking the baby

We finally got to my house after walking in a comfortable uncomfortable silence.

We both walked up to the door and I unlocked it with the key I had. I led them to the kitchen as (C/G) walked up to us.

"Hello, you must me Philips new friend, now what's your name cutie?" (C/g) said. (Not in a creepy way tho!) "(Y/n)! The brownies smell great!" they said sniffing the air. "Yeah, some are waiting on the table, enjoy!" they said as we ran up to the table and sat down and started eating some right away.

"Oh wow, these are great!" (Y/n) said slightly muffled due to them shoving them into their mouth. "I know right!" I said as I smiled at them. They smiled back and I swear, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Wait hold on," they said as their phone rang and answered the call.

"Mhm. Yeah. Oh, I'm at a friend house, is that okay? Yeah. Okay. I'll be there on a few minutes" they said as they put down their phone.

"Sorry I have to go home. My mom/dad/guardian is taking me to a family gathering," they said looking sad. "Oh that fine, hope you enjoy it!" I said as we both stood up.

"I'll drive you home," (C/G) offered. "No there's no need! My house isn't that far from here, only like 10 minutes." "Oh okay, well have a good rest of your day (Y/n). See you at school!" I said as they hugged me again. "Yep!" they beamed at they placed a small kiss on my forehead. Before I could get out of my daze, they were gone. Guess I have to wait, huh?

(A/n):
PLEASE-
THIS CAME OUT WAY CUTER THAN I ANTICIPATED 😭💅✨
PIP MY SWEET PRECIOUS CHILD ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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