South Park X reader oneshots

Just Do It Fattass || Eric X reader

My toxic trait is secretly having a crush on him, ANDDD him being one of my top kins 😃

ANYWAYS- *cough cough*

Also SHY and QUIET are two different things. Get it right

(G/n): guardian name

Eric POV:

"What the actual fuck Kenny," I sighed. "Phhh mhm tschhhh," he said muffed through his hood. "Just shut the hell up," I said as me, him, Kyle, and Stan walk into class.

"Oh wow look who actually decided to show up," Miss. Choksondik said as we all took our seats. Stan waved at (Y/n) then smirked at me, I huffed as they waved back at him.

-

"Cartman, I swear to god if you don't tell them I will announce it over the announcements," Kyle said as we all got off the bus. "Not happening Jew!" I yelled, obviously fed up with his and everyone else's attempts on me trying to tell (y/n) that I have a crush on them. Like bro, chill.

"You know nows your chance, they're right there," Stan said pointing to (y/n) leaning against a brick wall against the street on their phone. "Eh fuck you guys. Especially you Kwel, ducking Jew," I said storming off.

They didn't notice me at first because they had headphones in, but right when I approached them I tapped them on the shoulder. The flinched a little and looked up, also pulling out their headphones.

"So...... uh...... lonely ass bitch, do you have anything planned?" I said losing my train of thought. They shook their head no and blushed a little. Heh. "Good, so my place, later today. Mmmmm, like 6ish? Here's the address," I said smacking a sticky note that I pulled out of nowhere onto their forehead. Before they could respond, I walked away leaving them in shock.

(Y/n) POV:

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Am I dreaming? Ok pinch my arm and..... IM NOT DREAMINF THANK GOD EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T EXIST.

I pulled the sticky note off me head, it pulled a few of my hairs but eh. I quickly scanned over it and shoved it into a pocket I may or may not have. (Ur not my kid, you choose what you wear bro). I pulled out my phone again and continued listening to the song I was listening to before fattass came.

I saw him and his friends walk away across the street. Cartman look back at me and winked, which made me really flustered. God why am I not used to this.

-

"Hey (g/n), I'm home!" I said opening the door. "Hello, glad to see you made it back safe, unlike that Kenny kid that somehow dies almost literally every episode," they said scrolling through Netflix on the tv. "Yeah, what's up with that? Then the next episode everyone acts like it's completely normal! This town is weird as hell. Anyway, remember that fat kid that I kinda have a crush on that acts like a total bitch? Yeah I'm going over to his house in a few hours," I said completely 'normally'. "Eh, fine by me. If you're not dead than I'm happy," they said opening up She-ra and the Princess of Power. "Nice," I said quietly before going back to my room to do whatever I do.

Idk like 2 or 3 hours later??? I'm lazy as shit so deal with it :3

"Bai, don't miss me too much," I said grabbing the key. "Don't worry, I won't miss you," (g/n) said going through another one of their binge watch seasons of She-ra. I sighed and questioned how someone could watch that show like 736368282744 times a day, like damn.

I walked out and started heading to his house.

-

I checked the address again and knocked on the door. "Oh hey, you must be my little boys friend, come on it," a lady said, I'm guessing Cartmans mom. "Thanks random lady," I said quietly.

"Dear, come here your friend is here," she said closing the door. "Oh shit- COMING YOU ASS," a too familiar screech said. He slid in on the wood floor with his socks. "Come on to my room dumbass, I have to tell you something that Kenny, Stan, and that fucking few kept bothering me about!" he said grabbing me by the hand a dragging me down the hall

"Sit! Now I'm basically not telling you I'm ordering you," he said pointing to the bed sitting next to me. I gulped as I let him continue. "So...... date me. Now. You have no other option," he said smirking. I could feel my face flush red as I paused. I took a second to process and said, "You didn't even have to ask or order me, I would have said yes either way."

(A/n):
This was probably one of the worst ones by far 😭💅✨

ALSOOOOOO I'm think about starting a Homestuck X reader oneshots book thing. What you you guys think for the only person that ever bothers to comment? Please idk if I should start it or not-

846 words